Miss Walrus
When it comes to dating, I generally prefer getting to know someone in a group setting. This might be because I'm still in college, where "group date" can mean plopping down on someone's couch with a bucket of spicy wings and a can of Bud Light.
But, no matter how much easier it seems, even group dating comes with its own special set of obligations. I'm trying to plan one so that I can finally hang out with that guy I've been texting for awhile now. I figure that the group date is the best way for us to get to know each other without all the added stress & pressure that comes with the traditional dinner-and-a-movie route.
But now that I'm trying to figure out the deets for our first group outing, I realize that there is actually a lot to consider. Especially when it comes to who exactly is going to make up this "group". Obviously, I want them to be people I know so that I don't feel the need to not only impress him, but also his entire group of friends. However, I don't want him to feel the same way if the "group" is entirely on Team MissWalrus.
But even when it comes to picking people that I know and trust to accompany us, there are so many factors to consider. Whether or not we want to admit it, we all know that we have certain friends who just function beautifully when it comes to meeting new people and others who aren't quite so socially well-adjusted. We all have at least one friend that we know will do their best to talk us up, point out our most fabulous features and laugh loudly at all of our (attempts at) humor.
Then, on the opposite end of the friend-o-sphere, we have other friends who, although we love them, are probably not the kind of people we want our super suave date to meet right off the bat. Maybe they are awful eaters, tell horrible jokes or are terribly shy and will make us (the nervous, nail-biting datee) even more self conscious.
So I'm stuck right now. I'm kinda weighing the pros and cons of many of my friendships to try to figure out who I think is best suited for a group date. I'm also kinda re-evaluating my friendships a little: If I don't feel comfortable with them meeting my date, should I really be friends with them to begin with?
Have any of you had any interesting group date experiences? Ever picked the "wrong friend" to come along as your wing-man (or wing-woman)?
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Comments (13)
I'm the first guy my girlfriend's mom has ever allowed to go on a date alone with. Group dates suck because you'll be talking to your friends too and the person you're supposed to be dating might feel left out. Plus, they seem a little childish, like dating for 14-year-olds. A date is supposed to be between two people. Just my opinion.
This is why I don't do group dates. I am already a nervous wreck before I go out with a person and having my friends around doesn't really help. Then again, I prefer to have one-on-one time with someone I like instead of having my attention pulled in a million different directions.
Oh yea, I brought my ex boyfriend around my really close guy friends (on purpose) because they were like brothers to me. He ended up never wanting to hang out with them because they all mentally tortured my ex and privately told me he was no good cause he's weird in the head and didn't have the tenacity to hang. But we ended up dating anyway and he ended up being a total psycho. Come to find out my friends were right all along.
You know your good friends (the mature ones at least) will have your back. A group date might be a good thing.
wow talk about complicated
Well, for me, all I had to do was be friends with everyone. Since I like making new friends, I ended up being good friends with my boyfriend's roommate and several other close friends of his. You obviously don't want to bring friends that might just talk the whole time, or friends that are interested in the person you're interested in. I just try to get a good, trustworthy friend, and then mutual friends.
group date isn't really my thing. it's just tooo.... idk. just not something i'd do. i rather get to know the person one on one.
Group dates are for long term couples and their good friends who are in long term relationships. Then it'll be fun then. Otherwise, it'll be a bunch of nervous wrecks. It's already hard trying to impress your date, but having to impress his friends.
I like having my boyfriend's attention all to myself when we are alone.
when i was still living at home and i wanted to go out on a date, i would have to take my siblings and or cousins just so i can go to the movies or dinner with my bf because my parents didn't really allow us to date. having your siblings or cousins go along is probably the worst because you never know what's going to come out of their mouth. i'm so glad that i'm over those days of group dating. good luck.
I had a crush on this guy, and I would make my friend always invite him along with us and our friends when we did things. But then my friend and him ended up hooking up.
this might come off as silly but I also don't invite people that the date might find attractive OTHER THAN MYSELF because he could be confused and friend that I did invite will be in that uncomfortable setting where she will be in the middle of it all. I was that friend once, my friend wanted a group date so she invited me so I can tell obnoxious jokes, talk her up and be a party starter.....except my obnoxious jokes got his attention and he asked me out afterwards...that was weird.... it can easily backfire if you bring TOO social people into the group. As for those friends who we love but are socially inept at times, don't invite them. It sounds harsh but they tend to weigh down the fun-sphere with their awkwardness and overwhelming shyness. it's harder on everyone to recover from such moments, TRUST ME.
IT also helps if this group date takes place outdoors.... a beach session or a group dinner at someone's backyard (not restaurant; again, more distractions than you can control). good luck!
I hate group dates, i want the boy i want to dates attention on me alone.
The first group that I went on was aweful! My friend's friend ended up taking home the girl that I arranged the date with. I decided to pick and choose friends for a group on ignighter.com so that I wouldn't have this problem again.