Miss AntelopeI'm sure all you ladies and gentlemen have heard this age old theory: the more you look for that special someone, the harder he or she is to find. It's almost like nature is playing hide and go seek. You feel like you are doing and saying all the right things and even looking in the right places, but as luck would have it, you find nothing. You have a plethora of love and compassion just waiting to be used on the right person. It's such a bummer.
...although I think I have come to terms with myself and decided to focus more on me this summer instead of trying to find Mr. Right. I'm not giving up on finding the right person, but I want to devote my time and energy into something useful. I tend to always put myself last.
Should I continue to consciously search or just let nature takes its course? Is it okay to just focus on just me right now until things start to fall in place on their own? Does anyone feel the same way?
Comments (24)
I've been leaning more and more towards letting nature take its course ... because searching tends to get exhausting, after a while. If it comes ... it comes, glory hallelujah, and all that, but still... I hesitate to say, "just let it go and enjoy yourself," because I know first-hand just how much of a cliche that can be - and how hard it truly is. Yet ... I'm thinking that this might be the safest, wisest course of action, for now. Carpe deim!
You can always keep an eye out when even when you are doing other things, so just for now, why dont you just let things go their own way.
Letting nature take its course seems like the smartest thing to me. If you spend too much time looking for that someone, you might be too clingy to anything good that comes along. But hey, maybe that's just me. :)
I think there's nothing wrong with seeking, but don't forget to have a life in the meantime. Then, too, don't confuse the search for the right someone with a search for perfection. Even the right someone is unlikely to be perfect. Best wishes to you!
let nature go it's way, but also try to keep looking to. for example, go to an event for yourself, and if something happens there, then :).
Relationships are like puzzles. You need to take the time to find the right piece. You need to accept that some pieces just won't "click" together.
Whoever heard of puzzles "just falling into place on their own"?
You've gotta let nature take it's course. I am almost 21 years old, and have never had a boyfriend until the past couple months. I was always looking, always having so much to offer, but it's just like nothing happened until I gave up, decided to be content and happy with myself and my own life in singleness, and then poof! There he is! Best of luck to you!
In my experience, whenever I have consciously stopped looking for someone interesting, that's when someone finds me. So, I agree with letting nature take its course. Maybe when you're focusing on yourself, you'll find that someone? Either way, I wish you luck!
Let nature take its course. When love is ready, it'll come. :D
i completely agree with joycesmiles@xanga, just let nature takes it course BUT do not close your eyes while doing so. i have a friend who says, "peripheral vision!" she's focused on herself this summer too, but her peripheral vision is secretly checking out ppl. LOL
I wasn't looking for him; he was looking for me and found me but had a bit of a time catching me. I finally found him when I stopped looking in the wrong direction and finally looked in the right direction.
Hey, it worked for me, and now I'm a week away from marrying the man of my dreams. Never would have met him if I hadn't been focusing on myself at the time.
-Katie
for now, let things go their way :)
You are speaking as exactly what I am experiencing at this moment. Anyhow, just let the nature takes its course.
Nature. Every time I would try to look for love, they always ended up being infatuations.
When I least expected it, I was re-connected with someone I had met two years ago and had no idea whatsoever that it would be him who I want to fall for.
Basically, it will come up when you least expect it.
Find the right balance. Focus on searching, and on yourself at the same time. The latter one is very important, because you shouldn't make "searching for Mr. Right" your sole life goal for the moment.
i've always heard my mom say to me that you can't just wait for love to come to you, you also have to play the ground too and if you see something you like, you have to go after it. sometimes you're going to have to weed through the field to find what you're looking for and it's gonna hurt sometimes but one day you'll definitely find it. patience is a virtue. i'm also looking for it too, i know he's out there somewhere.
Love is always searching, and when you aren't paying attention its going to hit you like a train. Trust me.
I decided to do the same thing this summer. My recent breakup made me realize a lot about myself, that in a relationship, I enjoy pleasing the other person so much that I give in to everything to make them happy, even if it's a pet peeve (ex. he doesn't like calling or talking on the phone, so I settled for texting and hated it but I put up with it).
When he broke up with me (should have been the other way around), I was shocked and devastated. But then, I realized how much of a jerk he was and that the only reason I had to be upset was that I wasted SO much time and effort on making him happy that I didn't find time to build myself into a better person, heck, I didn't want to think about anything else. It was a huge mistake and it cost me emotionally and drained me mentally.
You see, I thought he was "the one" but now I see that I can do much, MUCH better, but I need time for myself first. :] I spent way too much of my time on him, and thought nothing about working on myself and doing things I wanted to do and enjoy.
My theory always was God would bring me that special someone when I was ready, but someone wise once told me, " You can't expect him to do everything, you have to help yourself".
i think instead of trying to find mr. right, we should just spend our time developing ourselves. fate will bring you and mr. right together. at least that's what i believe.
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The more time you focus on finding Mr Right, you might be more disappointed when you can't find him. So when you focus on yourself and in having fun, finding Mr Right at that point will give you more happiness than usual.
Just let nature take it's course. Focus on yourself and things will fall into place.