Thursday, 04 June 2009
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Am I Being Played?
I lived in LA for 5 years and moved back home (middle of the country) a year ago to change careers. I will be moving back to the northern part, near San Francisco, in four months.When I lived in LA, I worked with a guy that I thought was very good looking. The chemistry (I felt) was off the charts. We had so much in common so I asked this guy out. He said no, twice. He didn't want to date someone from work. We remained friends at work and talked to one another almost every working day. I left the company some months later and lived out in LA for another year, but never talked to this guy again...until he found me on Facebook this past spring. So in total we haven't seen each other in 2 years.
At first, we started off talking like old friends. Then a few weeks ago we started to iChat. The chats were friendly the first few times until he told me that he really liked me and that he wanted to kiss me at work once. It has gone from that to him wishing I was with him on vacation right now because it is so romantic there. He told me that when I move back to California that he will visit me and we will see where this goes.
I need your help, friends - kind of like a "he's not so into you" wake up call. Before his trip, I sent him a care package. I included my phone number on it. Instead of calling me, the day after it was delivered, he hits me up on iChat and says thank you. I have talked to him once more while he has been on this two week vacation and that is when he told me he wishes I was there.
Also, on his Facebook, there is a girl on there saying that iChat is not much fun without him there (because he is in Italy). She includes the ;) and all that stuff is typical of a flirtatious vibe. I am not upset or jealous by this, but it makes me wonder, am I getting played?
Should I just forget this guy as something potential? I can't stop thinking about him and I have a feeling that I am lining myself up for some hurt feelings if I keep talking to him. What should I do?
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About the Author
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- From: caligirl
- Name: caligirl
- About Me: I am in my early thirties and I am looking for love. I love the outdoors and my dog. I am getting ready to move back to a bigger city so get ready for some crazy posts about my adventures.
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Comments (27)
he's probably exploring a lot of "potentials". you can do the same. there's no need to think of him as a potential soul mate or anything.
Hmm... that sounds like a current situation I'm in right now...
I'm in a situation where this guy who I haven't talked to in months... and I haven't seen in two years, decides to confess his love to me. He did this the other day and I was completely dumbfounded because I couldn't understand why he was chasing after me all of a sudden. I'd just gotten out of a four year unhealthy relationship and there was another guy chasing after me too... and he ended up going back to his ex girlfriend, so he's not talking to me either.
Anyway, this guy who has been trying to talk to me and calling me "hun" has been asking me to hang out with him and he wants to "see where things go." He wants to get to know me more. I would be interested if he weren't so strong about it... but most guys usually say the same things to get a girl to go out with them. I don't believe most of the things people say anymore because there really is no point to trust them, when they'll just try to hurt you later on.
I think... he's just trying to get a rise out of you. This guy seems like one of those guys that will get what he wants from you and kick you out afterwards (harsh, but true). If I were you, I'd talk to this guy flirtingly, but don't think anything serious is going to come out of it until he actually calls you instead of hitting you up on iChat. That would show he's more interested in you than talking on the computer.
Hope that helps.
"Am I getting played?" Do you need to ask? Screw him (not literally).
hmm seems like he's "exploring his options" don't let yourself be one of those options. forget about him.
I don't know, but I advise you to be careful and not to invest too much emotions into it.
Thank you everyone. Your advice is really helpful. I have decided to stay away from iChat for a bit and give myself time to separate myself from this disaster waiting to happen. I will be his friend, but for right now, I am going to focus on my move. If he really likes me, he will call me. But, if he doesn't, I don't care. I am not going to be one of his ego boosters!
don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option.
something like that.
I'm player ....
if he really liked u, he would have ran after u at work against all his beliefs. thats what men do, they are hunters..
sending a care package? thats kind of overcompensating, think about it..what did he do to deserve this? some flirty words on internet
@graywolf0@xanga - True, but when I worked with him he gave me a lot of rides home because I didn't have a car. So it was a thank you in a way. I am for sure not going to send anything more!
I agree with the first comment.
He is exploring many options and you can feel free to do the same.
Don't get attached...
you are 100% being played
hun,
hes just NOT that into you
@emmibabyy09@xanga - Thank you! That's what I needed to hear :)
you're being played :(
Go with your gut feelings.
Yeah... he's exploring his options. It's not fair to you either to just be 'another option' when you're not doing the same. Unless you are doing the same... then keep on truckin'!
ur an option...if that even because he didn't even call which raises a red flag. but i see nothing wrong with flirting and getting some fun out of him. he seems like a huge flirt...could be fun. try it out, but only if you don't want anything serious. don't get attached.
@caligirl - Good job!
I'm guessing you're one of many.
He's a jerk. Don't deal with him anymore.
if you think he's playing you (which it seems that way) then just play him back.
i hate that effin winking smiley, it needs to burn.
you asked us for a "he's not so into you" wake up call...i think you already know deep down that he's not as invested in you as you are him AND that he's probably into multiple girls right now..i'd say at the most (assuming your feelings won't override) you can hang out with him w/o expectations, but don't put all your hope into him by any means. you're about to be in a new city--explore all the new possibilities it offers you! :)
oh and that girl commenting could easily be nothing. a girl into him that he's not into, or just a friend. forget about her--find your own extra guys to consider besides this one.
Sounds like me ex....who was a player.... careful with this one is all I can say
Sounds like you should be careful. I mean if he really care would he not have gone over his work beliefs and gone after you anyway? Something seems off. Are you sure he isn't just saying this to see if he can get you in the sack?
@emmibabyy09@xanga - i totally agree.