Wednesday, 03 June 2009
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Fun Times with Me, My Ex and Her BF
I went to a graduation party for my ex this past weekend. Before people get all up in arms, let me make a statement: we went out in high school, and only for a short time. More importantly, we are very explicit about the fact we are just friends and nothing more. We've spent many AIM conversations griping about members of the opposite sex who behave badly. Unless I was seriously not paying attention during our last chat, though, I had no way of knowing about the somewhat awkward situation that would present itself at the party. It turns out she has a new boyfriend.
What really made it awkward was that I didn't know if he knew that we used to date. So every time she went to talk to me, all I could think was, no, stay close to your boyfriend if you're going to talk to me! At the risk of sounding egotistical, I didn't want to provoke any jealousy or give the guy any doubts.
After a while, my ex came over to me and asked if it was indeed awkward for me, and I said yes, citing the above reasons. She assuaged my concerns, though, saying he already knew and that he was "cool" about things. After all, we are just friends. Moreover, after talking with her boyfriend at length, I can give him my seal of approval. He is a genuinely good guy, and is intelligent and understanding. I wish them much happiness together.
I imagine a lot of you readers have encountered experiences like this. Tell me...
How have you reacted when meeting someone your ex is dating? Or meeting your BF's/GF's ex?
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Comments (21)
I once ran into my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend in the condom aisle. She asked me who I was sleeping with, which is an awkward question even if I weren't dating her ex. I made up some sneaky distraction ("Oh, look at the time." Okay, maybe not so sneaky.) and bolted. To this day I don't know if she ever found out.
I don't have any exes, and I've only met my boyfriend's last ex (last girl before me), and she's a great person. She's really nice and fun. Except the "first" time I saw her while we were dating... I was on Hydrocodone (physical therapy) so.... I was having lots of fun. But when we've talked she's cool. I'm so glad really because sometimes I was scared that she would hate me.
I remember meeting my ex-girlfriend's first boyfriend after me (she had several to my knowledge) and I started boiling inside. I was frustrated, angry and upset (all internally - we were with our mutual group of friends). Fortunately we were playing soccer, so I was able to burn off all the anger and frustration that way. It wasn't fun, and I don't want to have to go through it again.
What made it even more galling was that he was a pretty nice, decent guy as well. He ended up the same way I did though - cast aside - though he ended up with a pretty nice girl after our mutual ex as I worked at a pizza restaurant close to where he lived and ran into him.
The other boyfriend of my ex that I ran into, but didn't talk to looked like a deadbeat. I can truly say that she moved downhill, rapidly.
The first boyfriend that my ex was dating was introduced to me in person when me and my ex broke up about 1 month before (and yeah, it kinda sucked). But after a while, I grew away from those feelings of still holding on to my ex. Her boyfriend now is a good guy, friends with my friends and her friends before they got together, and I am happy for her.
But you know, it's really how you feel you can handle it.
Pah, my ex's boyfriend is a douche. I hate him, and although she was my first, I'm not getting along with him. I'm still good friends with her though, cause the myth is true that you never really let go of your first...especially after dating 11 months.
Ive had two occasions where exes tried to talk to current boyfriends, not to get to know each other, but to convince the other to leave me because previous ex, thinks that they deserve me?
After that happening 2 times, I do not feel comfortable haha
This story sounds so familiar. My boyfriend wants to go up to the mountains for his ex's birthday party this weekend. He wants to stay the night up there & of course I'm not happy about it. I want to trust him, but they dated for 3 years, and we just passed a year on and off. He swears that his feelings for me overwhelm the ones he's ever had for her, but she's still inlove with him. HELP !
my ex doesn't have a girlfriend yet
when that day comes i plan on kicking her ass
or maybe his
or maybe both, i'm not sure yet, but there will be pain involved
I never met any of my boyfriend's exes because they're all so far away...but I heard from him that they're all pretty crazy so I have no intention of meeting them. His 4th ex-grilfriend (the one before me) ran into his 3rd ex after they'd broken up (and him and I already started dating), and the 3rd one was still very nasty and it sent the 4th one home bawling (and typing and email to her then ex-boyfreind aka my boyfriend). I was cool with that, and he felt bad for her (for having to deal with the other psycho ex)...
He told me somehow all instances where his exes met up it never went well...one would be visibly agressive towards the other...I thought he was just exaggerating to make me feel secure about our relationship...but his family confirmed that they were all pretty psycho...
Never have meet any of them, though I talked to one of my ex's wife on the phone (they obviously had dated and married AFTER we broke up) At this point, three years after we had dated, we ended up forming a pretty decent friendship. That's the only one. G-d save the girlfriend my last boyfriend is going out with though, should I ever run into her. (Long story, but no I'm not planning on kicking some girl's ass who is just an innocent, clueless bystander)
@HollowTendencies@xanga - hahahah
Agreed
@Tina_Kushnu - Dude, she probably knew or had a suspicion and was freaky jealous and just wanted a confirmation. By freaky I mean probably needs help. Like psycho-therapy help. How awkward.
I had a sleep over with one of my ex's ex's if that makes sense... we both went out with the same guy. We were both alright knowing that we had both went out with him. It was an alright sleepover.
I went to a campfire with my boyfriend, and my ex was there with his girlfriend. This was really awkward because after I had broken up with my ex he got all obsessive and wouldn't leave my house, and he did some things I don't want to mention. But it was pretty funny when his tank of a girlfriend pinned him down, tickled him, and made him scream like a little girl.
it's always awkward meeting your ex's new bf or gf...my experiences have always been pleasant because i still hang out with my exes all the time even though they have gf's. i think for the other person it's weird but for me, it's just like hanging out with a friend. it's not weird because you know that that person is with someone new and you just accept it.
I've never met any of my ex-boyfriends' current girlfriend, but I've met my current boyfriend's last ex-girlfriend (the one before me) and she was actually at his house and wouldn't leave. When I got to his place, she had already been there for over 2 hours and refused to go home. When he finally managed to drag her out, as she left his room, she pointed to the condoms next to his bed (that he and I had bought together a few days before and were brand new) and said that they'd just had sex before I arrived and that she had just given him a blow job. I looked at him and he said "NO, I never touched her." (a look in his eyes that said, "I'll go to hell before I lay a finger on her ever again). She got angry with both of us and kicked his car (there is a large dent on there to this day.) She then got in her car and tried to run us over while we were walking back into the house (we both jumped out of the way onto the sidewalk super quickly.) [Note: I checked the box of condoms later, it was unopened.]
i think it can always be a little awkward meeting a current's ex or someone they've dated. i've had three boyfriends since my son's dad and i split up almost four years ago. he hated the first two and actually approves of my current
they had a class together in high school and liked each other. it really makes it so much easier now that he can be happy for me.
My ex boyfriend, that I truly can't stand because of his egocentric mindset and competitive edge, showed up uninvited at my 21st birthday party with his new girlfriend (obviously just to show her off) and plopped down right beside my current boyfriend. Talk about awkward moments. I could care less about him or what he does with his life. It obvoiusly still bothers him that he has to show up unannounced and then try to suck up to my current boyfriend, all the while talking about how wonderful his new girlfriend is. He made a complete ass out of himself. Some people!
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend sits at my table in my math class, along with MY ex. One day she was complaining about how much she hated him, how bad of a person was, with MY ex.
it was worst when i saw my ex (at the moment wasnt over him yet) when i was in a date for sushi with my boyfriend (now ex). my boyfriend told me that my ex was there and i was like which one and then he pointed him out and i was like shocked deep inside but was acting all cool infront of my boyfriend. i held his hand and walked out... because i felt like it wasnt right for me to give him a big whole hug in front of my new boyfriend. so when i got in my boyfriends car, i felt really guilty for just walking out and not saying hi to my ex (that i wasnt over with at the time). and my boyfriend felt the pressure there because obviously i still wasnt over him. he asked me in a rude manner if i wanted him to drive back to the sushi place to say hi to my ex. i just held his hand. didnt wanna make things worst for me already. :(
I felt a white-hot rage because it was my friend who didn't tell me she was going after him. I felt quite betrayed.
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