I love being single. I cannot deny that, nor can I hide it. I love the freedom. The thrill of meeting new people without having to hold myself back. I love being more outgoing and most importantly, being independent. And yes, I believe in the whole love-yourself-before-you-love-anyone-else ideal. I wasn't really one who would look for a boyfriend, per se.
It has been almost two years ago, to my surprise, that I found someone who made me want to be in a relationship. We have stayed together for almost two years and since then we have not broken up. No on-and-off relationship. No constant fighting - we have kept a steady relationship with a few bumps along the way.
But I must say, relationships require a lot of patience. I am frustrated, unsatisfied, and generally saddened because I see him for a few hours every week. I have an imaginary boyfriend. He doesn't exist in my life as my friends barely know who he really is. We live two separate lives as if there is an ocean separating us. So I always think, what is the point of being in this relationship?
Well, I stay simply because I am in love. As corny as it sounds.
I am not stuck in this relationship because I can leave whenever I want, find another person (or stay single), and move on. I choose to stay. As miserable as I sound, I am miserable when I am without him. Although when I'm with him, there is no one else in the world but us. He is the only one that understands me or takes me as I am. The only one I can truly be myself around. And there is no way that I will find someone else like him. He is my best friend and I am happy to have him as a boyfriend as well. There is no way that if we broke up we would be the same again. The time is now. Not in two, five or ten years, but now. He is the one person I see myself with and there is no point of me ruining that simply because he is MIA.
There is only one chance for this kind of love and I don't want to let it go. Once you find someone who is incomparable to anyone else, it's hard to imagine letting them go for reasons that will seem insignificant later on.
For those who are having trouble with their relationships. I just want to say: make sure you think things through. Things will always be tough as significant as it seem now, it won't be later. Don't always think of why you should be breaking up but why you should be staying together. Don't risk losing someone you could never replace.
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Comments (29)
Aw, I only see my boyfriend on the weekends, and to make things worse, he's going to Taiwan for the summer :(
But we talk on the phone basically all the time and text each other. Seriously, I don't like sleeping unless I talk to him first, which will be harder when he's in Taiwain. But it's almost our three year anniversary andd I love him a lot.
"Although when I'm with him, there is no one else in the world but us.
He is the only one that understands me or takes me as I am. The only
one I can truly be myself around. And there is no way that I will find
someone else like him. He is my best friend and I am happy to have him
as a boyfriend as well."
"There is only one chance for this kind of love and I don't want to let
it go. Once you find someone who is incomparable to anyone else, it's
hard to imagine letting them go for reasons that will seem
insignificant later on."
I couldn't of said it better myself!
Great post!! I'm glad you are looking at the bigger picture. There will obviously be bumps and complications on the way but that's part of the fun.. (in the end) haha!
i don't think there are enough girls (or guys too, for that matter) who embrace singledom enough. you seem to have found a good balance, though. i wish more people were like you.
This was super sweet and good luck to you both! . I feel the same way about my other half. Yay for love!
And by the way, you guys are adorable!!
@ChelseaSmilesMore@xanga - same here!
So why don't you just see more of each other? Where is he the rest of the time?
i dont think it's corny, love makes us want to be a better person and do the unthinkable. good luck with your relationship!
I feel the same way.
i'm jealous... i've just gotten out of a relationship..i felt the same way... we were only together for about 8-9 months.. but i really loved being with her...even if we had our ups and downs... but shes always been the negative to most of the things you've listed in this post..and its really disappointing ><. when you try so hard...but the other doesnt seem to notice...
Haha your boyfriend looks like Will Smith :P
I'm happy for you...as to what you said though, I believe there is more than just one person for everyone. Although that doesn't mean we should take them for granted.
"I can live without you, but without you I'll be miserable at best"
Lyrics from Mayday Parade's Miserable At Best
i feel the same!! :)
he says i can do so much better and i am the one who is stuck with him while hes the lucky one to have me.. but i have to say its sooo the other way round~ :)
this is so damn true. [:
@xx_x_beautifully_broken_x_xx@xanga - I don't think he looks like Will Smith. At all.
Nonetheless, you two look adorable.
This is such a great post. It is too sweet, I know exactly what you are talking about. =)
I needed to hear this right now, so thank you.
My boyfriend and I attend the same college, but live five hundred miles apart, and we're both home for the summer right now. I feel like I can't connect with him when we're so far apart, and it's had me questioning everything. Thank you for the reminder to just sit back and appreciate him and everything I love about him.
My boyfriend and I are the same way; only spending a few hours together a week when we're away from school. I hate it and I miss him constantly. Last summer, I used to question whether or not I could do it, but I knew the one thing I absolutely could NOT do was lose him forever so I stuck around.
My boyfriend and I live three hours apart. I live in the town we go to college in, he lives three hours south, near the beach. It was very easy during the school year as we spent every evening together. He graduated on May 8th and has gone home to stay until October when he'll be going to Virginia for his military training for 6 months, then who knows where for MOS school for another 3-4 months...then who knows where to be stationed. *Then* he'll probably be deployed. Right now is a really tough transition time for us because we've gone from seeing each other every day for hours to once every two weeks for a weekend. I have two years of school left so I'm stuck here for the time being...only when I finish will I be able to pack up and move wherever he is.
The same things have been going through my mind as yours, lately. We do have our spats from time-to-time, but the good outweighs the bad by so much...and people don't seem to realize that relationships become work, though the pay is great! From what I've seen, people seem to think that everything will always be new, exciting, and perfect. They think that when the getting-to-know-you phase is over...that if they don't feel completely and blindly enamored any longer that the relationship is doomed...which is wrong. You "settle down" and get used to your partner and it becomes a comfortable love...which personally I feel is more intense than early love.
I can be the first one to tell you that if you don't disagree with you partner, ever, than something is terribly wrong. I was with a guy once and we never fought at all...and I found out he cheated on me, and he got married three months after he dumped me.
In any case, this is a very good post. There would be so many more happy people if more of them just thought like you every now and then.
This is very true. Thanks for writing such a amazing post. ^_^
i deffinitely agree. people tend to think about why they SHOULDN'T be together why a lot of times it's the opposite. great post!
I wish I could send this to the boy who dumped me the other night. He lives 2 hours away and while he was at school he would take the train to see me once a week. We were together for 6 months and stopped communicating. It was hard with the distance and maybe I was ready to handle it more than he was. I wish we could start over. Great post, very sweet :)
@BimBo_HiPPo@xanga - I would be interested to know what he does for you (simple things) in comparison to what you do for him. That insecurity line of his, " [you ] can do so much better" sounds like sounds like currency for empathy. As long as you feel like he needs you you will feel bad about assessing his contributions to the relationship.
@BaNaNaBrEaD4@xanga - you shouldn't want to star over, you where saved from a guy that can't commit.