I don't know what to do...at all.
So, for the past four years I've been on again/off again friends with this guy; I've liked him at points but never really anything significant. We were best friends at one point, and each other's only friends actually...high school drama, eh? Anyway, that chapter in our lives ended about eight months ago, and since then, we haven't tried to contact each other at all. We have one class together where we sit together, and we talk and act like we are best friends again, but when that 75 minute class ends, we don't know each other anymore. I struggled with this for most of this year, wondering why it was the same in person, but we couldn't talk outside.. but I dealt, and learned to accept we would never be friends again and I felt fine about this.
However, we ended up at the same party (a very small gathering) on the weekend. Another girl there is very obsessed with him, like majorly.. it's freaky, and he doesn't like her at all and never has. So anyway, he and I hung out for the first time in over a year while everyone else was at prom and we were waiting for them to be done so we could party. We parked outside the prom and were supposed to pick up the obsessed girl, but we just sat and talked about everything. He told me about how he really wants her to stop liking him because it's at point that isn't tolerable for him. He asked me to speak to her about it, but I felt like it wasn't my place.. and in my mind I wondered why I felt compelled to do this huge favor for him, when we aren't even friends.
Anyway we got way drunk and were all over each other. I could tell she was frustrated but she didn't say anything; she kept asking me what time I was leaving to another party I was planning on going to, and I just kept saying I didn't know. Then he would get me alone and tell me that I couldn't leave, that I had to stay over because he doesn't want to be alone with her, and if she kicked me out he would come with me and we could sleep in a park. Weird much? I thought so.
The party continued and we all started to settle down...he told me to come sleep with him on the couch because there was room for two...so I did, but then he, my other friend and I decided that we should go sleep upstairs, leaving the girl who loves this boy, downstairs by herself...oops? Did I mention it was at her house? So we went upstairs, and we slept in her bed, cuddling, with him holding me. Obsessed girl walked upstairs, saw us, then started swearing and went downstairs. She started texting him telling him to go to hell and all this stuff, and we just lay there reading the texts and laughing. Eventually he went downstairs to bitch at her, and he came back up to tell me that she was trying to slit her wrists...then we just went back to sleep.
I feel awful about all of this...first, I upset someone more than I would ever have liked to...second, he hasn't spoken to me since.. and last, I promised myself I would never care about him again, as a friend or anything.
What do I do? I think I care again, but does he?
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Comments (19)
For one: This chick is psycho and you were at a "small party" at her house... why? That right there is just asking for drama. This boy doesn't like her, you don't seem to want to be friends with her so why spend any time at all with her? It was extremely disrespectful for you to treat her that why IN HER OWN HOUSE! Geez. High school kids...
But I digress. There is a thing call communication. Use it. Call him up and ask him what the deal is. If he brushes you off that he's not worth the effort. Or possibly he is just waiting for you to make the move. Who really knows but you definitely won't unless you talk with him. Â
You got what you deserved. You are a cruel person.
Just talk to him about it.
why is he going to parties at her house and then acting mystified as to why she doesn't understand that he doesn't like her?
answer: he likes the attention and it makes him feel huge to have a girl like him that much (even if he doesn't reciprocate).
which brings us to how he feels about you. it's called using you for his own convenience, my dear. and you're letting him.
i think you should have a very serious, no bs conversation with him about why he treats you the way he does. if this was a real friendship you wouldn't feel this way about it. so talk to him, but don't be prepared for life to miraculously change and for him to declare his undying love and start suddenly treating you like a person instead of a party accessory. talk to him, get your answers, and then walk away. spend time getting to know yourself and be on the lookout (not the hunt, just the lookout) for someone who'll treat you a lot better than this.
:)
two girls one guy ..no good ever comes out of that. & from what im hearing, the guy isnt a guy who knows how to handle girls, relationships really well...
i wouldn't want to be with a guy like that. well, unless u like him alot. :P
you know what ,give him some space and for you. time will tell if u n him will work out.
good luck :)
the whole thing sounds really dumb and immature for all parties involved.
grow up.
Wow this is a lot of drama.
Too much drama, if he didn't like her he shouldn't hang out with her...in her home. If he doesn't talk with him outside of classroom, that shows how much he cares...which is none. I suppose it could be the drama he likes...Shouldn't you care that he DOESN'T CARE when she said she was going to slit her wrist and then he just went to sleep with you? And then he doesn't even call you afterward to meet up or chat afterward?
He can't even tell the girl that he does not like her, instead he asks you to do it. I think the guy need to grow some balls, and tell her straight up that he does not like her.
He sounds fishy to me. You don't know his motive unless you talk to him.
Wow. Hmm, just talk to him. :/ There's a lot going onn
Talk to him, the drama started when you went to that party.
way too much drama here, you could talk to him but what you did wasn't also right too so you can't really blame him. best thing to do is just move on.
ah so high school. this would totally happen with my ex group of friends.
i would have left her house. and i would ask him what the hell is up with the on and off friendship. it's so flaky.
HAhahaha...wait wait..HAHA..psycho obsessed stalkers. i know a thing or two about that one. there was this chick obsessed with my fiance. kinda just funny though. cause hes mine. =)
you should just talk to him about it. thats the only way you are going to find out. but it sounds kinda like he may have been using you to get a point across to the girl that he doesnt want her. if that was it. thats pretty messed up.
Why is that you have to expect him to be the one to call you? You have fingers; use them. You won't know what the deal is if you don't call, and waiting for him to call you is not only kind of selfish but you may also never get that phone call you seem to be waiting for from him.
That chick is messed up in the head, but that boy should have told her how he felt about her, or lack thereof, and been done with it. I think you unintentionally got yourself in a situation that really had nothing to do with you personally. Although, yes, I do agree you could have said no and told him to deal with his problems himself and you could have avoided this mess yourself, but he could have avoided the problem from ever occurring entirely by telling her to eff off. So, in a way, he's at fault because he didn't, guessing from what I'm reading, tell her how he felt. That chick was trying to slit her wrists to try and gain attention from a guy who didn't like her that way. However, you two didn't have to act the way you did in HER OWN HOUSE. I feel that that was highly uncalled for.
he's an asshole.
you are an asshole's assistant.shit like this gives highschoolers a bad rep.
wow - she may have been obsessive, but you guys are real assholes. Why the hell would you sleep in her bed? If she was bothering both of YOU, why didn't you just leave?
sounds to me like this guy used you just to hurt that girl. It was a pretty rotten thing to do.