Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FMLToday, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FMLToday, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FMLToday, I confronted my fiance and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FMLToday, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML
Comments (25)
I love FML! they make me laugh everytime
Wow. I especially was floored by #4... that's just really sad... Kind of puts my life in perspective!
LMAO at the last story. XD
Firday ....I have to go to home.
Oh my gosh! #4!!!
FML Rules - #4 was kinda crushing tho.
wow. i should try number 4 sometimes :P see what i get haha
The waiter threw in his phone number? Haha.
The second and last one are my favorites, seriously.
The last one === A++
Haha
Number 2 and the last one are the best, hahaha. Some of these are so funny.
The last one is my favorite. Love it :D
#2 = win.
#4 ===== >> hott damn
the last one... poor couple. hahaha!!!
hahahaha... i've never heard of this... the last two are hilarious. in a sad way, of course. haha
#5, LOL. fail
i love that last one!
the 2nd the last one are defs the best haha!
Awww, number 5! :(
Number 3 is sad =(
i like the last one the best!!..
and *hearts* for the 4th one
sucks to be #4
lmao
The waiter threw in his phone number? Haha.