Wednesday, 27 May 2009
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Would You Invite Your Ex to Your Wedding?
My ex and I broke up about six years ago. He didn't treat me right and we were fighting all the time. We continued to hang out and talk after the breakup, and we agreed that we would invite each other to our future weddings. It didn't seem like such a big deal at the time, especially to me because I thought we would get back together. I was young at the time and naive and didn't see how toxic it was to be with him. I've been with my fiancé for about four years. Since that time, my correspondence with the ex has dropped down to nearly nothing. It's been impossible to continue being friends with him because, in a nutshell, he thinks I still have feelings for him, which is totally false. I will admit, it took me a while to get over him; I even talked about him when I first started seeing my fiancé. But I've moved on and I am in the most amazing relationship of my life.
When I got engaged back in December, I did tell my ex and he told me not to forget his invitation. As I look at my guest list, I can't help but be reminded of the promise we made. My fiancé is not the jealous type at all, and he knows I'm completely committed to him, but I'm hesitant about asking him if the ex should be invited.
What do you think? Should I invite him? Would you invite your ex to your wedding?
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- From: mlj1981
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Comments (82)
I wouldnt invite my last ex boyfriend to my wedding and I'm sure he wouldnt invite me either. But that's because our breakup is still "fresh". If you guys are still on "good" or decent terms, I'd invite him. It's a about being nice and courteous? I dont know. If anything, it is still his choice whether to attend or not :o) So I don't see why not.
Umm... maybe. Probably.
I went to an ex's wedding recently. It was awkward and awful but it was good closure too. I'm glad that I went.
I don't know, really. I'm in the same boat. My ex and I are pretty much best friends, but whenever I just mention any little thing about wedding, he gets terse and sort of rude.
He's the jealous type. No two ways about it.
If this ex turned into a friend and there wasn't any of the awkwardness then yes I would invite them. Two of my ex's will be invited to my wedding along with a few guy friends a had brief flings with in the past. They are all my friends and would happily attend my wedding and my wedding wouldnt feel complete without them!
I'll probably invite my ex to my wedding, but it's a different situation for me. We broke up many years ago and remained friends because my ex happened to be my older brother's best friend. I think the situation is different for each relationship, and it's totally up to you. It's your wedding day--if it makes you uncomfortable, don't invite him.
Why would you invite him if he didn't treat you right anyway? Sounds like a problem just waiting to happen. Don't do it.
If you're close friends, and you don't think it would be difficult for the ex, I would see no problem inviting an ex. I would invite a couple of my good buddies/exs as long as my fiancee was ok with it. Of course, there is no wedding on the horizons, so who knows how I'll feel when and if it happens.
Um, listening to how things went and how they are, if I were you I'm not sure I would. It I was in a relationship that ended ok and we were still friends, sure why not.
If you two are on good enough terms and it's been that long then I think it would be okay to invite him. As for me, I would probably invite my closest ex just because we were really close and our issues are long behind us.
I think it's ok if ya'll are on good terms. But then again, who would invite an ex they're on bad terms with? lol.
In my opinion, I wouldn't. Exes are exes for a reason, no matter how close of friends you were.
My first ex it's going to be a lil hard because both my bf and I are friends with him, and he's practically one of my few only high school friends left (3 of them died in a car accident when I was in college). Awkwardness is gone but it's hard between my bf and my ex. We're all friends but it's just a lil hard between the three of us.
As far as my other two exes are concerned, no freaking way.
I'd do it. The reasons are complex though. (:
I don't think I would my ex bf to my wedding...unless we were really close friends and my soon-to-be husband is also okay with it. Maybe he won't go.
ew. no. o.O
No. It's your wedding. Which means its about your and your fiance. Not about your ex. Who cares?
Only invite him if you think he won't bring any drama to your big day. If he will, don't risk it.
I would invite him if we were really good friends.
I would invite my ex. Just because your wedding is about sharing the moment, not deliberately forbidding it.
Nope. Keep exes out of it!
My husband-to-be and I have actually made a pact:
No exes. No sort of exes. No hookups turned friends. No previously potential SOs.
We have way too many crazy exes and ardent admirers to let them mess up our wedding!!
My last ex hates me... But hes dating one of my BEST friends.
But I did date one of my best friends about 2 years ago, and I go to him for everything. Hes like my big brother; and He'd probably be the 2nd person after my family that Id invite. :]
I think its okay, just make sure that he keeps the promise as well:]
Depends on the ex.
In this case, though, I'd be wary.
If you don't want anything to do with this ex, why invite him? Is breaking your promise going to damage a relationship that's already dead?
Why not? If you know in your heart and soul that you love your fiancé and is 110% committed to him and he knows that as well, I don't see why inviting the ex can hurt. As long as both parties are mature and neither is letting the past come back, it should be fine. Besides, it has been more than half a decade since your break up. The only way it can hurt is if your ex is an obssessive, over-jealous psycho that's out to get you and whatever man comes within a 15-foot radius of you.
My ex and I are very good friends right now and we've discussed this same topic prior to our break-up. We both agreed to invite one another to each other's weddings in the case we don't get back together in the future.
I don't see anything wrong with it, especially if you aren't into him anymore. If he wants to come and be there for you on your big day then great! As long as you two have a clear CLEAR understanding. If not, then screw it. If you don't want him there, don't invite him. After all, it is YOUR wedding.
it varies from each case, I would invite my ex- just because we are on good terms and are just relatively-close friends. If you feel bad about inviting him, you may want to ask your fiance about it?
i'd never make that promise and i'd never send that invite
too weird; and i've learned it doesnt pay to stay friends after a breakup