Tuesday, 26 May 2009
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My BF Tells Me I'm "Cute" - But That's It
Let me start by saying that I have a wonderful boyfriend. He's polite, sweet, respectful, and considerate - the perfect gentleman. Plus, he ain't so bad lookin'. ;) We've been together for a bit over a month and everything is going great. Our personalities are very much compatible and agreeable, though we're still learning a heck of a lot of things from one another because we come from different cultures (he's Armenian Russian and I'm Korean American). He's VERY affectionate and neither one of us has a problem with PDA, but as close as we are, we're definitely not clingy towards each other.[my definition of clingy: doesn't stop calling, tells you how much he/she loves/likes you, buys you gifts way too much, and wants to be with you all the time]
There's a very good balance between us. I'm very thankful to be with someone as great as him. He takes very good care of me and gives me the utmost attention. But there is one thing that bugs me. He keeps telling me that I'm "so adorable" or "so cute," but never "you're so beautiful" or something like that.
I'm not saying that I hate that I'm "cute" or whatever, but I wonder, is that all that he sees me for? Just some cute girl he seemingly adores. I want to hear from him that I'm beautiful; otherwise I'll just feel like a little girl to him. Maybe I'm being sensitive, but for me, "cute" and "adorable" are not the adjectives I want to be known as at 18 (19 in 3 months) by your older, more mature boyfriend.
MALES - I need your input on this. Does my boyfriend do this because he doesn't know any better or that I'm just a "cute" girl in his eyes, and that's it?
FEMALES - Do you believe I'm overreacting? That I'm making too much of a deal out of this? Or would you feel the same way if your S.O. called you cute and rarely anything else?
Sigh. I want your opinions! So feel free to speak your mind :)
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About the Author
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- From: StylishMudd@xanga
- About Me: I'm Julia.
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Comments (121)
Aw, that's cute.
I have an idea: tell him what you need to hear.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - then he would stop saying cute as well :P
i rarely hear word "beautiful" myself.. :(
i'm 25 & my boyfriend calls me cute all day long T_T
it has nothing to do with age i think LOL
and i doubt he views u as a little girl...
no clue WHY boys use cute so much though!
I don't think you are overreacting.Until the last guy I was involved with I was always called 'cute'.I'm 21 and quite petite so I think that has a lot to do with it.Probably also your personality.Once in a while its nice to be something other than cute.
Ummm is this like really a problem?. . . . . . .It kinda sounds petty on the outside :S but maybe thats just me being a dude
My oversensitive, analytical side sees where you're coming from. I'd hate to feel "looked down upon" as cute sounds like something you'd call a kitten.
My practical side says he's complimenting you, and at least he's not saying you're hot all day.
Hey, at least he calls you cute! Appreciate what you are hearing a bit more instead of dwelling on what he isn't saying.
you know what, i just realized from reading your post that "cute" and "adorable" are really adjectives to describe kids... or at least people that you seem to feel like your younger sister or whatever... not a lover...
hmmm.... realization here...
why don't you tell him...
yeah just tell him to start calling you beautiful or hit the road! lol jk.. but seriously you could bring it up that you wish he'd add a few more adjectives into his vocabulary.
what do you call him?
my last boyfriend used to call me everything in the dictionary. like.. sexy, cute, hot, beautiful, gorgeous, pretty.. i was like man what about sweet, smart, and funny? geez. i'd even take sarcastic.
"oh HT you're so sarcastic!"
I think the difference between beautiful and cute is how you carry yourself. Your everyday self can be cute and pretty, without any effort. Beautiful and sexy is more contrived, more of an effort than something inherent.
My boyfriend routinely calls me "cute", too. I rarely ever dress up or worry about my make-up or hair or whatever, but when I do, it apparently makes a difference -- that's when he'll bust out his verbal arsenal and I hear the "sexy" and "pretty" and, occasionally, "hot". When he does call me beautiful, I laugh at him and tell him he needs to stop joking around.
But maybe if you make the extra effort to change up how you look, he might respond positively and tell you what you want to hear. Failing that, prompt him: "so, do I look extra pretty tonight or what?" Then reward him...=)
i think you're unnecessarily offended. i don't understand how so many people are confused by this issue: guys and girls don't use the word "cute" the same way. when a guy calls a girl cute, it's a compliment. when a girl calls a guy cute, she means she'd never touch him with a 10 foot pole.
@Kyren_SkyRyder@xanga - oh, i like that!
good advice!
My boyfriend's favorite adjective for me is cute as well. Hrmph.
But I don't mind :)
Okay, voice of reason here: you're way overreacting. Girls read so much into what guys say to us, every inflection of tone and shade of meaning, when there was probably no evil message waiting to be discovered there at all. Guys don't have these elaborate distinctions between "hot," "cute," and "beautiful": all of the above essentially mean "I'm likin' how you look," and it's something we girls need to stop worrying ourselves about.
My ex used to call me "hot" and "sexy" all the time, never "beautiful" or "cute," but it never bothered me. It just told me he found me physically attractive, and what's wrong with that? He showed me he loved me in other ways besides his words, and we dated for nearly three years before he had to go to school somewhere else and distance became an issue.
If it really bothers you so much, you should talk to him, but only because he's your boyfriend and should try to make you happy by calling you what you prefer, not because he was doing something inherently wrong before, and not because he doesn't feel strongly about you.
just ask him! "Do you ever think of me as beautiful? A puppy's cute! Daisies are cute. I wanna be GLAMOROUS."
Sure you're a girl and this is a reeeally girly, silly complaint lol about a relationship. but keep it light 'cause it IS light. and silly. and you're a girl. these things are totally allowed from us. :)
Maybe he's saving beautiful for a special occassion like a wedding or something....?
my Ex used to call my beautiful and cute and I don't know why but I didn't like it. It made me kind of uncomfortable actually.
I like being called cute more than beautiful. I wouldn't mind being called beautiful once in a GREAT while but in substitue for cute.
I just prefer cute. :3
which my boy calls me just enough to where it's not annoying but honest.
:]
Do you call him handsome or sexy? If you're calling him cute then you're just doing the same to him. So do to him what you want done to you.
:]
I totally understand! my boyfriend is the exact same way. he calls me cute all the time. except once and awhile he'll call me pretty, or sexy. rarely beautiful. i would like to be called beautiful, too :[
My boyfriend has never called me cute before. He sticks with "beautiful" and all the other adjectives. If you're just stuck on this and really upset about it, I'd say you were being overly sensitive. You've only been together for one month. I do believe that for one month, you're doing pretty good to get that much. I mean really.
If at six months he's only calling you cute, talk to him about it. Find out why he calls you that instead of anything else. I don't figure it has anything to do with age. If he were calling you cute as in "cute little girl" then I highly doubt he'd be with you.
Yes you are very much overreacting! Shut up about what he calls you. Would you rather he not call you ANYTHING!? Not cute, not beautiful, NOTHING! Stop being a whiny, over sensitive brat and accept that he calls you anything, or be like the rest of the girls your age who as soon as things don't go 100% your way or the way you have imagined in your head you end that relationship in search of the next "perfect" guy/relationship. GROW UP!
my boyfriend kinda gets irritated because i call him cute too much. it's not that that's all i see him as, i just don't know any other adjectives to use!
hahaha, i don't know, do you find yourself calling your guy "handsome" or "hot" in an everyday conversation? :P
cute is a term that can be used on a regular basis to express his affection for you, i think it's adorable that he calls you by that term so often!
i'm sure when the right time comes (like at a formal dance, or your anniversary) he will use more extravagant words to describe you ;P
I do think that you're being a little bit oversensitive/over-reacting about being called cute. I don't think there's anything wrong with the word "cute", but if you don't like it, or want to hear "beautiful" every once in a while, just tell him. :) Anway, the word "cute" just might come more naturally to him. I wouldn't take any offense to it if it were me (in fact, my boyfriend calls me cute all the time and I love it. I'd rather be cute than hot).
You shouldn't let that bother you! You guys have only been dating for more than a month and still getting to know one another. I think you should take the compliments he gives you as meaning, "I like how you look." I think that sometimes guys just aren't good at expressing themselves. He's sweet and considerate, but maybe not good w/ compliments.
I remembered when my bf and I started dating, he use to call me cute a lot too. That was in the beginning and I knew he was trying to get use to me too. I didn't push him, especially when I'm also working on my compliments for him.
Hmmm....you can try this! When my bf called me cute, I say, "You really think I'm cute? Aww...thanks." Well....this is a slow process. After that, the next time he calls me cute, I smile sweetly and ask him in a cute way, "Do you always think I'm cute?" First few times my bf would say yes, I think you're cute sometimes more than others. Eventually, he started using other words, like pretty or sexy. Now, I don't know about other guys, but this is my bf. What I'm saying is appreciate his compliments, so that he'll have more confidence and courage to use other words. (Remember to give your bf compliments too.)