I was just talking to
Camille about
my profile on a dating site, and how all the girls on there that talk about the books they like always mentioned either Twilight or Harry Potter. I then mentioned that I want to find a girl who's read the books that I have, who admires the same authors I do. (Huge bonus if we match theologically as well.)
So, I mentioned I want to find a girl that's read Augustine and C.S. Lewis (Wilberforce and Bonhoeffer would also qualify); a girl who knows her way around the Bible, a deep thinker, and a little love for philosophy would be nice too. In short, a girl that I could have deep stimulating conversation with.
Then I realized something, Augustine and C.S. Lewis both never married.
"I turned my heart to know and to search out and to seek wisdom ... Behold, this is what I found, says the Preacher, while adding one thing to another to find the scheme of things-- which my soul has sought repeatedly, but I have not found. One man among a thousand I found, but a woman among all these I have not found." - Solomon, Ecclesiastes 7
This post also somewhat inspired by
Lizheartshakespeare and her post with advice on men using dating sites.
Edit: As Ionekoa quickly pointed out, C.S. Lewis was briefly married for four years. His wife died a very untimely death.
![Brave New [Crazy] Relationships](http://x67.xanga.com/e76e033227235278901718/m222171789.jpg)
True 
Comments (22)
I pray you will find her, and enjoy a long life together.
CS Lewis is an amazing author. I just finished re-reading Mere Christianity....I love his work! :)
I never thought I'd find my husband, but I did and it was when I absolutely least expected it!
John Piper is also amazing...
I too think that would be a wonderful mix to find in a woman - but seeing as I already fit most of that description, finding ANOTHER woman like myself is just going to be plain old *difficult* - for both of us.
arrogant much?
but look at all the great philosopher couples, Hannah Ardent & Heidegger, Sarte & De Beauvior
Many ancient Greek philosophers were married....and had girlfriends...and boyfriends. Damn, those Greeks were freaks.
C.S. Lewis is amazing, dont give up hope, just because those two didnt get married doesnt mean that you cant! I know plenty of women who love narnia and know the religious references behind some of it too!!
C.S. Lewis did get married!!! To a woman named Joy.. ironically, it happened soon after he wrote the book Surprised by Joy. Sadly she died soon after their marriage.
@orangeisthebestcolor@xanga - i was just about to say that C.S. Lewis did too get married LOL i mean...that's where A Grief Observed came from!
I think everyone's read Twilight & Harry Potter out of sheer curiousity. What dating site are you looking at anyway? When I help my friends look for girls on OKCupid they're reading Vonnegut, etc. haha
I can only assume the girl who said you were arrogant up there either doesn't know the meaning of the word, or is a Twilight fan herself.
There's gotta be a girl out there for you, but don't be gloomy just because you can't find someone at the moment. Have fun with life and in the meantime I'm sure you'll find your perfect lady.
HOLD IT! Lewis never married? Forgive me if I'm wrong... but... didn't he write A Grief Observed? Which, if I recall from my undergrad Grief, Death, and Dying class... was written after his wife died. Sooo... unless I'm way off base in my undergrad memories, I'm pretty sure that you missed this part... and you may want to check your facts before you lay them out as a requirement for a successful relationship.
OK, I'm mollified by the edit. Whew.
@not_izzy@xanga - I'm not comparing myself to them by any means! Just that I admire those men for their writing and their thoughts. And I want a girl who does as well.
If you are referring to my views on Twilight and Harry Potter, well, I don't think they'll stand the test of time against the authors I mentioned.
i've read bonhoffer and c.s. lewis, and i'm sure many others have too.
how about a different approach. why not think that maybe instead of trying to find somebody who has similar tastes to yours, that maybe God might want to find somebody who has different tastes than yours so that perhaps you will grow and learn new things? see, what we want is not always what is the absolute best for us. sometimes what we want the least becomes what is best for us.
when you do finally marry someone, it will be the combining of two separate wills. the goal of a christian marriage is to glorify God, but also to help the individuals die to their selfish ways. the more we die to ourselves and look after others' interests, the closer we are to loving our neighbor as ourselves, again, thus glorifying God.
why not try to take an interest in a woman -- any woman; get to know what her interests are. you may learn something, as well as you may grow to see that there are more important things by which you want in a woman than just the covers of the books she might read. ;D
oh she's out there :) I love CS Lewis and I'm working on becoming as well-read as possible. I'm sure there are plenty of girls like that out there... just go around to a few universities and hang out in the philosophy department ;)
Unlucky for you, I've already found my one and only. Sorry, I'm off-limits :P
Harry Potter ain't half bad ;)
But I wish you luck! There's bound to be someone out there. It's a pretty big world, you know.
Maybe you should try a Christian dating site if the Bible is part of your sticking point. You probably shouldn't limit your dating choices by their choice of fiction... you and a potential SO can (and maybe should) expand each other's horizons, in what you read and what you think. It's part of the magic of meeting new people.
okayokayokay.
let me just defend choices such as Twilight and Harry Potter for a brief second. Because yes, I've read them. And yes, I enjoyed them.
HOWEVER.
They are brain candy. They were easy to read (aside from bad writing style on occassion....) and easy to finish quickly. That is ALL.
It is NOT a culture. It is SO bad for little girls (twilight that is.... as far as harry potter- rowling created very strong female characters. Bella is the anti-feminist. Men don't save women. Unless they are Jesus. And Edward, by all means, is not Jesus. He is a vampire... who sparkles... and puh-lease... the idea is ridiculous. It is NOT REAL... BAH. i could go on for days...)
So. they are fun to read. The end.
As far as CS Lewis... well... As I have not completed a whole Lewis book, I can't praise or criticize...
I did however, take a gander at your profile. Blue Like Jazz? Good stuff.
I also enjoyed Anne Lamott's books... thus far, my favorite has been Grace Eventually: Thoughts on Faith.
Maybe... you should stop looking so much at what a girl reads, and more at where her heart is... what her are ambitions are... if she likes puppies or warm socks out of the dryer...
Dude, I don't know what your other interests are... because while deep, theological discussions are amazing... they're only amazing sometimes.
What about a girl who can make you laugh? Take you by surprise? Make you smile when you're alone?
Just about anyone I've met can have a conversation about theology... but not everyone can make me laugh.
woot :)
Well you know, Hitler was only married for one day..then he died. And he was well-educated. And chances are, he could hold up a stimulating converstaion or two..
I have the same problm finding guys. i want someone who i have chemistry with, but i need someone who can connect wih my passion and my mind. for people like us, finding someone will be harder, yes. however i believe it will be worth more when we do.
@XxFireXboltxX@xanga - Thanks. Mere Christianity is an amazing book. Read it a couple times too.
@fatal_mess@xanga - I have listened to several of Piper's sermons, I haven't read any of his books yet though. I do have a few just haven't gotten to them yet.
@rebelmug@xanga - Thanks. I think finding anyone who loves to read deep stuff is rare.
@wolvenchic@xanga - Thanks. The Narnia series is great, a real treasure. I think his non-fiction is even better though.
@Passionflwr86@xanga - Yeah, I didn't separate the edit much and most people missed it. You're right though, he did write those about his wife. I would have removed the part about them having not married, but it would have ruined the punchline of the post. Thanks for the comment.
@YouTOme@xanga - Thanks, I'll try to keep that in mind. I do try to look deeper than just the books the ladies read though. Sadly where I am there aren't many singles my age. Or if there is I haven't met them. Most people in this area seem to marry the day they graduate high school. It doesn't really get to me as much as this post might imply though. Thanks again!
@ThatSady_MittGurl@xanga - Thanks for the disclosure!
I do have a university nearby I could loiter around a bit... a Barnes and Noble too!
@imyourstargirl@xanga - Thanks. I haven't actually read Harry Potter. I have the books though, a friend gave them to me.
@AllMyNamesAreTaken@xanga - It's not so much their choice of fiction, just the popularity of Twilight and the lack of depth in the reading choices most mention. If I were to mention a book I liked I'd choose something that influenced me, a book that helped to form who I am. I guess I just hope to see the same from others. Thanks for the comment.
@candyhearts13@xanga - Thanks for the comment. It's more of an observation than anything regarding the books. The popularity of the series does amaze me though.
Those other things you mentioned would be great to have too. Unfortunately, on a dating type site I think they would be harder to express.
Blue Like Jazz was an amazing book, have you read any of his others?
@skdelom@xanga - Agreed. Thanks for the comment and the encouragement.
@Tom@revelife - i haven't yet! but I really really want to- I enjoyed his writing style, and thought Blue Like Jazz read very easily for a christian based book-- christian memoirs are a relatively new find for me... So, I'm pretty stoked to continue my literary adventures.