Sunday, 24 May 2009

  • Is Self Deprecating Humor Okay?

    Miss Walrus

    If there's one thing I'm good at in this world, it's making fun of myself. I don't know why, but poking fun at my mishaps is my way of dealing with them. Normally my self deprecating humor gets a few laughs from my friends and  then we return to normal conversation. But other times, I am left feeling kinda "blah" about the whole situation. Not everybody resorts to self deprecating humor when faced with an awkward situation.

    I often wonder, too, if this kind of humor is actually scaring potential lovers away. I mean, everybody feels insecure and pokes fun at themselves every once in awhile, but is there a fine line between self deprecating humor and blatant insecurity?

    What do you guys think? Are you attracted to this kind of humor - or appalled by it? Do you use self deprecating humor?

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Comments (38)

  • piercingblueeyes@xanga

    It often depends on what kind of joking you are doing.
  • a_single_raindrop@xanga

    I do it sometimes, but not very much. I don't want other people to think I'm fishing for compliments. It depends on the situation.

  • justXforXyou_beautiful@xanga

    I think it's okay when you do something kind of embarrassing. Better to laugh at yourself than get humiliated and freak out, in my opinion. But when it gets to the point where it's all the time and kind of like fishing for compliments, that is definitely annoying.
  • pillowpixies@xanga

    Not everyone uses that kind of humor due to insecurity, so I don't think that it's going to be a blatant sign of insecurity unless you do it numerous times a day in front of the same set of people. I'd say that I use self deprecating humor every once in a while. When I use it, I'm typically doing it to lighten the air. For instance, if I were to trip and fall. I'd make fun of it so the other people wouldn't get a chance to ask me if I was okay, because that is the part that makes me nervous.

    Some people use that kind of humor just to lighten the mood after a screw up. Some people do it to calm themselves down. Then there are the few people who do it purely because of insecurity.

    I'm not attracted to it nor appalled by it. It doesn't matter to me either way, so long as the person doesn't do it all of the time. I mean, if they were to do something silly all of the time and then poke fun at themselves, it'd get on my nerves.
  • make_the_boredom_cease@xanga

    well it's better than standing there dead silent ignoring everyone and wishing you were dead.
  • RazorBladeParade@xanga

    If they don't do it, I will. 
  • SeeBeeWrite@xanga

    It depends on what you're saying. Sometimes I feel very uncomfortable when people make fun of themselves because I don't know how I should react.
  • musterion99@xanga

    Is Self Deprecating Humor Okay?

    I'm too stupid to answer the question.
  • joycemiles@xanga

    Nah. The only jokes I make are like making myself look better, not worse. Then people laugh because they knoe it isn't true " Yeah I'm so pro at skateboarding I do an ollie with my eyes closed!" <- That kind of stuff.
  • MOJOJONO_X2@xanga

    It is good, to most people it is a sign that you are comfortable and confident of yourself.


    Just don't over do it, otherwise it will become a sure sign of insecurity.
  • Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga

    Yeah I do it too but it's a part of being humble. As with all things, do it in moderation and mildly. I don't think you want to self-deprecate yourself when first dating someone. You may be giving them the wrong impression about you by stating your faults before stating your good qualities.
  • FireMapleSong@xanga

    I do it all of the time, but I also do "pseudo-cocky"
     humor as well to mix it up. The point is, you need to have a well developed sense of humor that is versatile, and don't stick to one form of wit, or people will either think you're really an overconfident ass or really a self-loather.

    That being said, I think self-deprecating humor is awesome.
  • steph

    It's better in small doses.
  • imyourstargirl@xanga

    Ha, I resort to this everyday. But not when I'm trying to pick up dudes! I suppose it is quite the turn-off - especially if there's truth behind your humor or it just makes you come off as someone looking for pity.
  • DerBlauMann@xanga

    I'm into self-defecating humor. works every time.
  • MarrieM@xanga

    depends. if it's to cover for awkwardness - a few laughs are great. but sometimes...

    i don't find guys who use self-deprecating humour frequently (as in, even when it's unnecessary, just to gain a reaction or cover up for something) very attractive, or attractive at all.

    tried it, but it kind of didn't work for me. in the end, he just made me feel sorry for him. NOT hot. confidence and being straight forward are better strategies for attracting the opposite sex, in my opinion.

    few individuals (in my experience) want to spend hours consoling their significant other, for things that are really unnecessarily exaggerated. (unattractiveness, bad grades, silliness)
  • MrsMok@xanga

    Only when it is funny. Which I find is quite rare. If this is the only thing you got going for you, then you fail. Horribly.
  • Avoiding_Sober@xanga

    It sort of depends. Sometimes it is okay to make fun or yourself, but there is such a thing as in going over board. 
  • turtletastic

    It just depends on what you're saying and what it's about... I think it's healthy to know your flaws and laugh at them, and I actually think it's a good thing to see that someone can laugh at themselves...

    I don't like it when it's something that person wants to change about themselves and they're laughing about it... I mean, if you're always treating it like a joke how do you expect to change?

    Yeaa, that's my pov.
  • Mangonese@xanga

    It's not attractive to potential SOs, usually. Especially if you're attracted to the confident type.

    I'm also not attracted to it in the least bit. It really turns me off if it's more than once a week, really.
  • landlockedeyes@xanga

    I find it annoying when someone does it too much... why would keep putting yourself down like that, even if it IS funny?
    Main point: it gets annoying.
  • B2yan_C@xanga

    Self deprecating humor is me.

    Is it annoying? You tell me.

  • coldfaceblush@xanga

    It's okay to use self-deprecating humor. It can show that you can make fun of yourself, and don't take yourself seriously. But sometimes, it comes off insecure and self-absorbed, two things that are hard to be at the same time in any other situation. I think, along with any other humor tactic- sarcasm, brilliant wit, whatever- it should be used only when appropriate.
  • wizexel22@xanga

    its not so much how much  you do it.....but in what way you do it.

    some guys do it and its annoying and makes the guy seem like an insecure loser.

    other guys can do it and in their self-deprecating humor...actually convey an air of confidence. instead of the girl thinking "he's so insecure"...she thinks "he's secure and confident enough that he can make fun of himself".

    so pretty much the proof is in the pudding. if a lot of girls are attracted to you....you are fine. if not, you might be doing the "annoying loser" thing.
  • efarns@xanga

    People have to know you well enough to "get it."  It could come off like "I'm a screwup and I think it's funny."


    Personally, I use both extremes - self-depricating and self, uh, appreciating(?) humor, so you have my vote.

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