You've probably heard it said that the consummation of a man and a woman happens in the marriage bed. I've joked that it happens in the car on long trips. Though it's not nearly the bond of two becoming one flesh, it could certainly be explained as two becoming of the same space!
The make-or-break for many of my past relationships has been in the car. The first long-term serious relationship I ever had ended after a day of driving. Tensions were already running high and really escalated when I ran out of gas. Hey, it wasn't my fault! The car wasn't mine and I didn't know the gas gauge had some problems! Anyway, it's not like that was our first time in the car together, nor was it the deciding factor at the end of our relationship. But a lot of other things can build up and come out when you're cooped up like that together for a long drive.
In the car, you will discover how compatible you really are, or perhaps what you need to work on in order to be more compatible. You can tell how well (or not so well) the two of you can handle each other (or yourselves) when it comes to long rides. Nothing like being in a small, enclosed, confining, sometimes uncomfortable, and distracting space for an extended period of time to force you to do just that.
There are all kinds of distractions.
One is watching the road while the other one is bored, or maybe the passenger is getting the better end of the deal when he or she is able to nap while the driver has to stay awake and be bored! The driver controls the pace and the stops, or maybe the passenger controls the stops after that 44 oz. Dr. Pepper has run its course. Let's not forget, men and women have different sized bladders! Then there's different tastes in music and who gets to control the radio. Is it too cold or is it too warm? Can the dome light be on at night or is it affecting the driver? Whose responsibility is it to keep the conversation rolling and are we okay with silence? And if there are kids in the car, well that's a whole other variable altogether!
Then there are the things the two of you will encounter when you're on long rides with other people. Like, for example, the dreaded.... *dun dun duuunnnnn*....
silent treatment!! Nothing is more awkward or more childish, and it affects everyone. I've been on the receiving end of this situation twice. Ironically, one of those times was when another couple in the car had just been in an argument, and my girlfriend and I made faces to each other about how silly and awkward this was. On the round-trip back, I guess my girlfriend was inspired, because she got mad at me about something and suddenly
we were making everyone else feel uncomfortable. I thought fine if she wanted to be mad at me, but be mad at me when it doesn't make it weird for unwilling participants.
There is a driving difference (pun intended) between two people and that difference is widened between the driver's seat and the passenger seat. I think it's safe to say that the guy is doing most of the driving while the gal is riding passenger. Think of this scene as a metaphor. He's working on driving and is being distracted by all the things that come with it, while she wants conversation and more of his attention. This is the picture of most marriages.
In Genesis 3, when Adam and Eve sinned against God, part of the curse that God put upon them created separation between the man and the woman. "Your desire will be for your husband," God said to Eve, "and he will rule over you." To Adam, He said, "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil," and "by the sweat of your brow," God said, "you will eat of it all the days of your life." Adam would toil for the ground while Eve would pine for her husband. Do you see? The distance between you and your significant other is more than just the difference in gender -- it's part of the curse for our sin. That's why it's so hard. Knowing this, can we overcome our selfishness and insecurities, learn to trust and be more considerate of each other, and realize that we're imperfect people in need of a common Savior between us?
Comedian Paul Reiser once said, "Marriage is about two becoming one. But in the real world, you're not one. You're two. And there's only so many ways that two people can blend." It's important to know, before you decide to go the long haul together, just how well the two of you are willing to blend. Love each other for your "driving differences" and think of how you can make the ride more pleasant for the other. If both people are doing that, the journey is not only easier, but has the chance to be a whole lot of fun!
Romans 12:10 "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."What have your experiences in the car with your SO been like?
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Comments (29)
Man you think too much.
I love riding in the car with my SO. I hate driving so he does most of it. (:
This is actually very true. :D Yeah, riding in the car is a goodbig metaphor for what marriage/relationship is. Not in all cases but most of them.
um i dont have a SO!
but i have to control the radio! � :PAs the girlfriend who likes to drive, I do most, basically all of the driving. We don't care about silence. He lets me listen to the music he considers shitty because I am driving. We rarely fight anymore... and if we do it is stupid, then we sit quietly for a bit, then we talk again like 10 minutes later like nothing happened.
This dating thing isn't hard when there is freaking compromise. Seriously, it's not that hard. YOU DO NOT ALWAYS GET YOUR WAY! Deal with it.
It's okay. I really like driving with my boyfriend, especially when he drives. We talk, sing, laugh ... unless we're in a fight. Then there's silence, crying (from me) and yelling. But I usually always give in first >.>
He drives a majority of the time. As long as he can hold my hand when he drives, he doesn't complain. :))) Hahaha. But we've been on long car rides where I've fallen asleep... He said he's poked me a few times when he could.. So it's his entertainment when I'm not the one controlling the radio or .. cleaning his compartments and whatnot. lol.
I enjoy driving (and am better at it), but he drives more than I do because it's his car. I would drive most of the time if I still had a car, and if that car was manual.
We're accustomed to crossing the state of Michigan to see my family a few times a year, and we split that trip in half. I usually drive there and he drives back. It's normally a fun time punctuated with comfortable silence or music. If he didn't eat and gets low blood sugar, though, he gets rather irritable, and it makes the trip pretty hellish for me.
No SO, but the whole car falls asleep immediately when I drive long distances, so I pretend it's because I'm a smooth driver.
When I'm a passenger, poor car control (e.g. can't stay in a lane) and short stopping distances scare me.
At first I didn't like my ex driving cuz he would speed and crap. After a while, I got used to it. We never got into an accident or anything, prettty skiiiiillled I must say THOUGHT very WRONG. but yeh. He was a year older, so he had his license & I stilll couldn't drive D: Nothing really bad happened when we were in the car together, we actually had a lot of good times. Singing to songs that we barely listened to, having ammaaaazing dates, other cute moments blahblah, sad its over but that was my only car experience with a guy lol.
i'm okay and make it work regardless..
as long as the guy doesn't have a lowrider or mega raised vehicle. either extreme is not okay with me..both are ridiculous. oh, and SUV gas guzzlers, not preferable. worse still, if their driving shows a lack of capabilities and an abundance of idiocy, that is also torturous to me. especially if overly cautious and slow. okay, i guess that makes 4 or 5 things.
p.s. you appear to be a fellow overanalyzer..haha. this can be good..and bad. but i like how you inserted the Biblical references within your post--very interesting.
p.p.s. this "most males drive the females" thing is becoming less and less prevalent over time, in case you didn't notice. a scary thought? maybe!
in my car, the driver choses the station...end of discussion.
When I had an SO who could actually drive, car rides turned out to be kind of awkward...
Besides one of my exes, all of the guy's I've slept with have been good drivers.
One of my friends likes to speed a lot. Him and his friends race around and they high five when they get to 120 mph.
I'm always so scared when I ride with them but I have told him that he isn't allowed to drive like that when I'm there.
Sometimes he does it anyways X(
I'm still to young to drive.
my ex and i drove down once to LA and the trip from his house to down there was about 5 hours. i dreaded driving with him because when we're in the city, he drives like a maniac. but to my surprise it wasn't so bad. he was safe and then when he got tired, we'd switch off and we basically talked about anything and everything under the sun for the whole 5 hours in the car. it was fun because i got to know him a little better, got to see a different side of him that normally wouldn't.
Well, we've done the 5 hour drive to his house from mine together and had no problems... I think we're okay =P
And yes, he does drive mostly, I don't want to mess up and have him make fun of my driving abilities or something seeing as I've only driven around my little town and he lives in a bigger cityThe rule with me has always been whoever is driving controls the radio/heat/air/etc. Period.
How very true this is as both an analogy and in real world terms. GREAT insight.
I can't drive yet. D=
No car issues here....well at least that don't pertain to driving. I do tease him because his sense of direction can be really bad...
I drive for a living, but I don't usually mind when he drives. I have only ever been scared driving with him once, because we were fighting and he was in his Camaro SS and was being dumb...like sliding it around corners and speeding.
I actually started realizing I had feelings for him when his little Geo Metro Convertible blew a water pump and we were stuck in the car together for hours waiting for AAA to come. It was really cool. We got to know each other well.
We do have car issues when it comes to him being OBSESSED with cars. I used to really enjoy keeping up with the newest car stuff and all, but he is just so into it that I can't stand it anymore! He loves the cruise ins and shows...it's just too much sometimes. Oh well. It will be better when I finish my little car!
You need a guy who will give you a lot of attention. I've heard this driving long distances thing puts some couples in fights, but I've always had fun with it.
My SO and I actually take a night to ourselves every couple months...we put $20 in the tank, choose a direction, and just drive. We make sure the weather is clear and we carry a blanket just in case we get tired of driving and find a nice field to lie down in. We've gone star-gazing in Arkansas, made day trips to Nashville, and found the cutest little towns in Southern Mississippi. Car trips can be a great bonding time if you understand each others personality traits and needs.
My last ex and I had a 3 day roadtrip to Portland. Ive never had an overnight trip with a bf before; he had to meet my parents and get an approval (short of getting him to sign something in blood) of bringing me back in one piece. The way TO portland was high energy; I was talking a mile a minute (as usual), we brought enough music to keep us entertained, the weather was AWESOME and it was still the "honeymoon" stage of our relationship so we didn't go nutty.
It was the day coming back when we were both tired, the weather was CRAP and I was bored while waiting at the border. My god, I was starting to get irritated at the wait, I get restless, and he was getting slightly annoyed by that. We ALMOST had an argument until I started taking random pictures to ease the tension. But we survived it....and I didn't want to see him the next day...HAHAHAHAHe was the only one I had a "car trip" with and I can see how they say you don't know someone until you've travelled with them... This is why I know my best friend and I are for LIFE; we've went on trips enough times to know that we'll balance each other out and we're both very considerate of eachother (ie. don't sleep in the car if the drive is long; sleep is contagious) and what not.Although once...my dad took my mom driving (practice) and she came home in a cab pissed off. lol
my fiance and I are fine with long car rides. he usually drives because he doesn't like it when anyone else but him drives (i'm fine with that). we like the same music, so radio is no issue. we are good with taking directions from each other. we are comfortable enough with each other, were we CAN ride in silence. and if you think a car ride determines how well you blend, try living with each other! my fiance and I have lived together for 3 years, and I know that i couldn't live with anyone else and not go insane. When you live with each other you see the good, the bad, the ugly, and the annoying.
i guess long car rides is a step before moving in