Saturday, 23 May 2009
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Arguments with Your SO That Get You Nowhere
Everyone knows a steady relationship involves fighting, petty arguments, and getting mad at each other. No relationship is perfect, blah blah blah. However, I find it hard to believe that these steady relationships are also expected to go through pointless arguments on an almost daily basis.I don't know why the arguments happen every day, but they do indeed happen just about every day.
Now, it's often true that arguments bring a couple closer in the end. You know, you get mad at your boyfriend because he won't open up to you; you then get into an argument about how he's not used to putting his feelings out on the table; ending product: Ta-da! You have a boyfriend who now feels more comfortable opening up to you and discussing his feelings and thoughts with you.
Now, here's the other end of the spectrum. These (almost) daily arguments aren't even arguments worth taking place, or arguments that, in the end, lead us to something better...or even something worse. It gets us nowhere.
We don't move for ward, and we don't move back. It's like they take place solely for us to get pissed off at each other for an hour and then be completely drained and thoughtless after it's over. In the end, all you can think of saying is... What. The. Fuck. ?
I mean, you know? Really, what the fuck. Do you and your SO get into these arguments? If so, what do you make of it?
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About the Author
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- From: writemetosleeep@xanga
- About Me: I read blogs on xanga more than I write. Quite the opposite of how I used to be. I wrote everyday. Writing was a passion of mine, it came as naturally to me as breathing. It was necessary and second nature to me. I still love writing; however, somewhere along the way I've lost a bit of my insipration for writing and I feel like I lack a bit of imagination. So, now, I'm working on bringing all of that back. About me personally, I love meeting new people, talking about anything. I love laughing, smiling, being happy. Sunny days, when the heat literally takes my breath away and late night thunderstorms that send me into a great sleep like a lullaby to a baby.
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Comments (33)
I have an idea: don't do something to cause an argument.
You're welcome.
I couldn't waste my time on being so petty.
It sounds like the relationship isn't working, why be miserable and fight with someone all the time? Move on and find someone who fits you better.
Because we feel the need to make everyday seem interesting for our special someone, but indeed we cannot and failed attempts get twisted by our ego to become a argument because we can't help but justify our actions without thinking about other people's perspective. Since this person is someone we're with so much, we're bound to judge them whether we realize it or not. like celebrities, their good and bad qualities stick out like a sore thumb and you won't hesitate to praise or mock them.
On another note, we feel this person is someone we can open up to, but everyone knows no one gives a shit about what you're thinking, especially your loved one >.>'' unless they have a purpose. He/she has a eternity to listen to your crap thus leads to arguements. Now now don't give me that "I'm an exception" bull, because we all know exceptions exists, so don't bring it up. Plus most people who "think" they're exceptions really aren't just haven't realized that themselves.
sometimes, these arguments serve as the last option for something you two can share especially when one or both of you are busy.
i know a girl who teases her SO every now then just to get his attention then they'll have a petty fight afterward but after she explained it to him, her SO thought it was cute and thoughtful of her.
but my SO...well, he gets pissed. so I'm a good girl now. I avoid those pointless arguments. I just concede, and sometimes he does. It's a give-and-take situation.
seen ...
you're arguing over things that are pointless? think before you speak, maybe you'll get out of them sooner. you don't always have to win or have the last say.
i don't think arguments make a couple closer - talking does. if you're feeling a little exhausted from a petty argument, look at your SO and appreciate what you have, don't spoil it over something you can avoid.
We don't have daily arguments. When we have an argument, it's usually a big argument that ends up being beneficial to our relationship.
I don't see the point in daily arguments. Doesn't fighting get tiring? I know I would be tired of it... I used to fight a lot with my ex. It wasn't over petty things either. I was really tired of always getting into arguments with him and having the end result go no where.
arguments that go nowhere leads to great makeup sex
there you go
Arguing every day? mmm.... I don't do that with my boyfriend. I mean, most of our "arguing" is about something stupid- but we only do this kind of arguing for fun, with no hard feelings. It's like joking around. But sometimes he just likes to argue for the sake of arguing, and if that takes up too much of my time, I get annoyed.
Well, we've been going out for seven months and have never argued.
Not once.
We disagree on things sometimes but we're never upset with one another. Then again, of course we don't always agree.
A couple does not HAVE to go through arguments, I don't think. How you react to something is always a choice, everything you do is. You can choose to argue, or you can choose to discuss things calmly.
That might be easier said than done, though. I have difficulty getting angry and don't fight with anyone really outside my parents and siblings. And that's always stupid stuff that doesn't get us anywhere, haha.
sounds like there's no chemistry.Â
Ughhh I hate these!
yeah, we always get arguments, and tonight's one could mean breaking up!
Nope
my bf and i don't have arguments nor had any fights. we talk everything out and keep nothing from one another.
Right around when we hit our six month mark, the same thing started happening to me and my boyfriend... They started off at once a week or so and then evolved into almost daily arguments. That happened for about three months, and after one final, really stupid argument, we talked about what the real problem was--The way we handled our problems.
Because in reality, most of our fights were about very little insignificant petty things. What really got us going was the fact that I like to handle problems right away and he likes to step away and wait for awhile. So it resulted in me calling him constantly so we could talk about it, and him ignoring me, and me getting even more upset because I really don't like to be ignored...
So we have now found a middle ground for things, and are more aware of what each other needs when we get upset at each other, so we are both comprimising a little and are much happier because of it.
I think that a few arguments can bring a couple closer, but not when you're doing it every day! It's healthy to have differing opinions, but it doesn't really sound like the two of you are being very thoughtful with each other if you're arguing that much. I'd try talking about what's making you fight so much, because maybe there's an underlying issue. I don't think I could stay with someone I argued with daily.
Sometimes, it seems like couples fight just to keep their spark alive. I know of a couple who fight pretty often but are so crazy about each other, they've stuck with each other for such a long time. Haha, props to them, for sure.
Well, we're in a long distance relationship now, and I see it start happening the longer we're apart from each other...mostly just because it's hard on both of us I think. I'm hoping that when we move in together we won't have to deal with that stupid stuff!
Aargh! I go through this on an almost daily basis myself. If you find a solution, let me know please. I'm sick of arguing over stupid things like why the dishwasher is loaded wrong and how the puppy needs to be dealt withÂ
It depends on the length of your relationship. If you're with someone for a long time, you tend to get annoyed by them, you piss them off, they piss you off etc. Kind of like the way you would treat your parents or siblings. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years. Our petty arguments only happen because we've been together for so long and sometimes, we get on each other's nerves. I don't think this means anything about our relationship though. No 2 people can get along perfectly well forever.
No, we don't. We actually haven't ever gotten into an argument. I mean, we've only been with each other for a year, but still - there are so many people who are already arguing just a few weeks into it. Meanwhile we haven't argued once.
I don't think arguing is required at all. Screaming at each other angrily versus a calm discussion. In my opinion, if you want someone to open up, talking to them about it calmly would be much more beneficial than screaming at them to open up.
There are so many people who argue over total crap. Like, cleaning for instance. One of them doesn't put the dishes in the dish washer after they eat. The other starts to complain about it, starting an argument over it.
Now, really, cleaning? That's not worth it. Nor is him needing to pick his socks up. These are stupid, pointless things that you won't remember the next day.
I don't get into daily arguments with my SO any more. We had a little phase... but he learned to just not push that button in me that turns on my "argue until he stops" action. He just kinda goes whatever, and shuts up. Then we start laughing and talking normally again 10 minutes later. It's pretty awesome.
dude I hate those! But USUALLY one of the people in the relationship does step up and does something about it