Miss AntelopeThere are mixed views on when and if it is the right move to live with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Some believe it shouldn't be done before marriage. Others believe it's a good way to test how well you really get along before tying the knot. Some see it as fun. Others just don't see the big deal.
Living together, from my experience is the test of time. If you two can handle each other in close quarters, then you just might make the final cut in the world of relationships. I lived with my (now ex-) boyfriend for a few months and that, without a doubt, painted me a clear picture of who this person really was - it essentially led to our breakup.
It felt like we were an old married couple after just four months of living together. Actions do speak louder than words, and living together proved that to me.
You think you know someone, then boom! Nope, you don't. All the little things become the most irritating things and it just adds up. Yet, this is only one experience; there are other who live together just fine and learn to accept their SOs for who they are. Is this key to living with one another?
Are there any tips you've found to help you learn how to live with the person you like/love? Have you ever lived with an SO?
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Comments (92)
Not until we're married
I haven't lived with an SO yet, though I'm figuring that within the next year me and my boyfriend are going to be living together.
Yes, there are some little things about your significant other's personality and habits that you will just have to learn to accept and live with. This is part of the compromise that makes up good relationships. You need to know what the dealbreakers for you are and whether or not your mate possesses them by the time you get to such a serious point in a relationship.
I did not live with my (now) husband until we got married. I wouldn't have it any other way. There were so adjustments, obviously, but I was so close to him beforehand that there were almost no surprises and nothing that was a major problem.
Plus, research has shown that couples who live together before they get married are more likely to get a divorce later on.
Yes i been living with my husband sense we met. No we didnt make the descion to live together right away but at the time he was living with his parents and he got kicked out because he wanted to be with me so the person i was living with which was a close friend of the family (i had also go kicked out at the age of 17 by my mother) took him in so pretty much we was living together from the begining of our relationship. so that right there tested our relationship and so far so good. we have been together for six years and married for three years going on 4 years in june.
Nope, I do not live w/ my SO and we prolly won't until we get married. But I am curious if we can live together....
Maybe when we are both out of college we will move in together? Jaja. But I have never lived with a SO.
I think I'll only move in with a SO if we're engaged and soon to be married.
Nope never lived with my boyfriend. I really don't mind not living with him for now because I would be so tempted to NOT do the things that I need to do and just be with him all the time. I see him all the time at school anyways. (well not during the summer but he's leaving the country).
I think living together before marriage is a good idea, it gives you a sense of their habits and gives you time to say ok thats just not acceptable if there is something you just can't live with. I moved in with my SO after dating 7 months, long distance. We've now been together 4.5 years, it just proves we work well together.
Sleeping naked on nice white sheets? But what if you have to go pee in the middle of the night? Where's that last drop go?
Anyway, that is the kind of stuff that runs through my mind. I say go with off color prints. It hides a lot.
I'd live with the person I'm dating. Marriage doesn't really make anything different to me.
They say you dont know someone until you live with them but mom says that's how people settle, not settle down. Maybe if we were soon to be married & moved our stuff in together so everything is done before the wedding but no before.
It sounds fun, but I'll wait until I get married. Not only will my parents kill me, but I think I would want to find out about all his habits after we get married.
I used to think you should wait until marriage... until my current BF started living together a little over a month after we started dating. We had been bestfriends 5 years prior to us dating... and I knew all the little quirks about him, how he was in previous relationships and so on. At the time, I constantly wondered if we moved in too soon cause we would fight about the stupidest stuff... But I realized, we would of had all of these fights later on, after we got married.. like, not flushing the toilet, or leaving the cabinets open.
Honestly, I am so glad we moved in when we did.. and are living together now. I have learned sooo much more about him... and I love him more and more.
I think it's a good idea, instead of dating someone 2-4 years getting used to this person that you know... then you live with them, and you get into fights and wonder why they've changed and don't do this and this anymore.. But really, you're just finding out more about this person.
Definitely wait until you're ready, but I don't see a problem with it. I think its good.
However, when I did start living with him, I was not just "living with him"... I wanted a future.. just living with someone, isn't my style.
I live with my boyfriend, we've been dating for almost 4 years and it just so happened that I needed a roommate and he was wanting to move out of his house. We have seperate bedrooms and our own bathrooms...seems weird when I say it. This way there is no sharing of space, closets, vanities etc. I love having my own room because I can go hide out when I need to.
I always said, in fact until about a year ago, that I would never live with someone before marriage but I've had bad luck with roommates in the past and knew I could trust him. It has shown me a lot about who he is and his evil habits. I know not to expect him to take out the trash or put his dishes in the dishwasher unless he is asked but he eventually does it. It has shown me that he is someone I could marry and live with.
However living together has complicated some things, who buys what groceries, cleaning supplies etc. He is essentially a roommate but splitting things get a little more complicated when you're sleeping with your roommate.
Nope. Defintely not until we're married. I would rather it be a new experience after we get married. I already sort of know what to expect, as we're in an LDR, so when we visit each other we stay at each other's houses for a week or so at a time. It'll still be different, and maybe even difficult to adapt to at times--- but that's part of the beauty of it.
And besides, if you love someone enough to want to marry them-- you shouldn't let a few annoying habits prevent you from going through with it. Love requires patience and sacrifice. If you can't handle that, well...I'm not sure how real that relationship is to begin with.
I would never EVER marry someone I didn't live with beforehand. Dating someone is different than living with them, and if you're going to be marrying them, then you need to know all of them.
i lived with my furst bf for ten yearz since then ive had 3 longterm relayshunships i didnt live with eny of them i dont thaynk i evr wanna live withan SO i lyke my solitude too much & i dont EVR wanna marry ugh itz too codependint
When he moved out of his friend's house, we considered moving in together. I'm almost sad that we didn't, because we get along better when we're with eachother more. But honestly, with him it's too much "on-again/off-again" to be anywhere semi-serious with him. Ugh.
My boyfriend and I have only been dating for 3 months. But We've known each other for like 4 years. and were the best of friends in HS. Now we're both a lot older (he's 21, I'm 18) And.
& I just recently got into major contact with my boyfriend(currently) after so long. It was december, next thing I know he was coming over every weekend all the way from another city to spend the night. We messed around a lot. =]
But In January my mom kicked me out of my house,
So when my mom kicked me out. He offered me a place to stay. So I moved in with him.
& then on Valentines day he asked me out. So we've been dating ever since. and living together is great. We've been technically messing around since December, but living together since January and together since February lolz. & We would hate to be away from each other.
It's fantastic.
I want to move in together with her when we get engaged.
Can't wait for that day. 
See the things is, I already have this mindset that I want to be with him forever. If we lived together and THEN get married, what's the difference? What do I look forward to? The only difference is a ring and a big celebration and his last name. We're already at the highest level of intimacy, so scratch that for something to hope for in marriage.
I'll get married before I move in with him. At least that'll give me something to look forward to. A new experience I guess.
Wow, this is another astounding topic...
I did live with my ex and although we're not together anymore, the times we shared together were the best times of my life. If there were anything that I learned the best and the most,it was while I lived with her. Of course we had our arguments, disagreements, and even fights sometimes, but those are now moments that I now cherish the most ("when looking upon the moments when I cried, I would laugh thinking how silly I was for crying over minisucle things. Yet, when thinking about the moments when I laughed, I would cry-thinking how those moments only remain as memories"). Disagreements only happen because we defend our beliefs, therefore, usually conflicts with others' beliefs.... But I miss most, how she would cry during the arguement and I would soften up, and apologise.... If I didn't get into my car accident, I swear, I would've never made her leave me... I guess when a man loves someone, he wants her to be happy, even if that happiness meant that she's not apart of it....
i have never lived with any of my bfs but when we were dating we would always have sleepovers, it was sort of like a second home on the weekend.
I think living with a guy that I'm going to marry (fiance) is smarter; this way you know what kind of habits he has before you say "I do" for the rest of your life. I was thinking, be engaged for about a year or so and live together. By the end of that, if things are unbearable, at least you haven't f*cked up the rest of your life to proved yourself wrong, right?
Anyways, even if I do live with a bf or a fiance, I'd need my own space. A den or a small office space or SOMETHING because if I had to be near that person 24/7 I'd probably go crazy and drive him nuts with me too! I think it's healthy to have your own space for the sake of your sanity for all parties living in the space. Unless you live in a giant apartment... lol