I have just come to realize the torture of liking someone but not being able to be with him or her. It creates such a void inside, such emptiness that it makes it impossible not to dwell on the unfairness of the entire situation. I have experienced "missing" someone so much that it hurt to breathe...but this is just an entirely other league of sentiments. I don't know where they are coming from, but I do not appreciate them and I want my heart to know that. Please stop.
Have you ever felt so tied up that you couldn't move? That you couldn't do anything to make your wishes come true because the world didn't let you to? Why must everything be so complicated... Why can't we just drop everything we have, leave and be with the one we want to be, no matter where they are in the world. Hopefully they are waiting for you, the way you are waiting for them.
What is this feeling of hope? There is no hope in this situation and I am creating it out of thin air. Once again I am setting myself up for a huge letdown, a big disappointment. No matter if the feelings are mutual, there is absolutely no chance of love for us. I have to slowly back up and slowly forget. Unfortunately, that is much harder to do than I originally thought. This is not like getting over someone you were with. This is getting over someone you were never with. It's probably much harder because the thoughts linger in the back of your mind...what if? What if we could have been something? What if he is what I have always looked for? What I have always wanted to find in this sad and lonely world?
Should we give up because of distance? the impossibility of nearness? There will come a point where we will be so far in that talking simply won't matter anymore and won't make us as happy as it does now. We will want more..and that's when everything will come crashing down. I'm scared of that day. I'm scared of losing something I have yet to have. I'm scared of him leaving an empty hole in me where he should have filled it.
What if we do find the person who matches us intellectually, emotionally and physically and can't be with them - what then? Do we forever regret the fact that we were born on different continents? I guess this is the downside of meeting so many people in so many countries. We fail to realize at the moment we start talking that the end is near and fast approaching before we can even blink two times.
I wake up every morning thinking of him. Wishing I could see him. Impossible.
I go on about my day wishing I could talk to him face to face. Tell him stories. Impossible.
I wish that we could meet somewhere in between. Anywhere anytime. Impossible.
So why torture myself with talking to him hours at a time. Why fall harder and deeper for him when there is absolutely no chance for us to be together.
There was a quote that went along these lines: "To love and not have the chance of that love thriving, that is romance".
I don't want romance. I want a happy ending.
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Comments (31)
Unrequited Love will make you to get hurt.
this was really well written. felt that. and am sorry
I have no idea what to say to this. On one hand you sound so much like a kid and I want to reply with a snarky, "Get over it." but at the same time I know a lot of people do in fact go through this so maybe I should say something constructive?
But really, there is nothing else to do but get over it.
if you like the hurt, then continue...but life is out there waiting for you (cheeeesy, i know)...time to give up and move on.
I'm a little confused... was the distance an obstacle that hindered you from being together or that person didn't feel the same way about you? the former is unrealized love while the latter is unrequited - there is a difference
Getting over a love you've never been with is not more painful than someone you've invested deep feelings for, time and energy on just to get a major letdown when the relationship can't or won't work out. If you breakup with a SO from a serious relationship, one will think about if it was one's fault, if there was nothing else one can do about it, was the feelings for each other not enough for the relationship to thrive and last long?
If you really LOVE this person, you would go over there and declare your love, especially if you know the other person has mutual feelings. You'll work it out somehow...at least give it a try. You gave up before trying. You already failed the relationship. So yes...GET OVER IT.
in response to other comments: she does sound quite young - but i remember feeling that way earlier in my life, and i still feel it was written out very well.
to the OP: you WILL get over it in time, idk why people are ordering you to do so immediately.
You took all the words out of my mouth.
...-sigh-
sigh..
This so makes me think of the Holiday. Great movie. I'm sorry for your heartache :(
The only happy ending is in a coffin after a long, full life. My best advice is don't focus on the ending, but on the trip to it.
There is no "happily ever after" with a loved one. There's love, hard work, blood, sweat, tears. There's pain and suffering, and fun and laughter.
Without the rain, we'd never appreciate the sun.
Now that I've run out of clichés, I have to get dinner on the table for my husband! :P
The only way to get over it is to move on and find someone who will be with you. Unfortunately...there will always be that void.
I dream about him every night now...*sigh*
I'm going through the very same thing this moment and i chose not to give up yet because of the distance but frankly, i don't know how long it will last. I just refuse to let distance get in the way. Just hang in there for as long as you can if you do love him. Yes it's true that the more hope you have, the bigger your disappointment will be, so maybe your attitude could be adjusted to taking one step at a time?
this is how i feel about zac efron
i know exactly how u feel and when i say exactly, i DO mean exactly because i myself had been in your same exact situation before. i know that feeling where your heart eats up inside of you and you spend an endless amount of time thinking about it. but let me tell you, if i can get over it, so can you. im not telling you to get over it because i know no one likes to just hear, 'get over it' when they like someone this much. it takes time, time to heal and time will reveal to you everything that had once been a mystery. im just saying that if he really is the right guy for you, he'll one day walk into your life again, and if he isnt (just like you said), then one day someone else will walk in your life & make you realize why it never worked out with him in the first place and it is then that you will be thankful that it actually never worked out. as for now, it may seem like he is the perfect guy for you and he is the right guy for you and thats why you wanna be with him, but if he really was the right guy for you, you two would've collide. i dont know the whole story to your situation but maybe theres also a reason why your holding on so tightly? is it because you think u wont find anyone else better? (rethhorical question) well maybe its because you havent met anyone else like him who is better for you. im not saying someone better than him but someone better for you. i can go on and on with this but i dont wanna make it so long. all i wanna say is "time will tell" & "the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing" hope that helps! goodluck with everything <3
this is heart wrenching to read - i have been there and it is so well written, i just feel it all over again. i'm not sure there's ever a way to get over it, you just lose the intensity of the feelings in the business of every day life until you realize, one day, you somehow found happiness again...
This was how I felt a few months ago. We broke up because he was moving 3000 miles away & didn't think our relationship (two years, might I add) would last because of the distance. I was hurt because we dated for such a long time & he decided to break up with me due to such a little thing, or heh, big.. literally. We coulda made it work, I mean we went through so much shit together & came out even stronger.. was he really going to end our relationship based on distance? Yes.
I understand how you feel. :( The best you can really do is let time handle it and see what happens.
Good luck.
Felt like this. And still feel like this.
But I'm learning to let go.
Cause I realize, the longer I stay with him for selfishly is the longer my life is in stall.
Time will heal your wounds. On a brighter note, there's more fishes in the sea!
aw this makes me so sad. i had.. have?... an unrequited love too. the only thing i could do to possibly move on (yet i sometimes question my moving on) was to fall for someone else, who fell for me in return. that feeling's the best in the world. however, that person is no longer in my life. i'm scared to go back to my unrequited love (so i keep myself at a distance.)
you are right. it's one of the worst feelings in the world. it was worse than my ex breaking up with me. that, i could deal with. i can understand feelings coming and then leaving. we're young. we gave it a shot (and sometimes i hope we could give it another; however, if we don't, we had our time when we had it, you know? loved and lost.)
but my unrequited love. we never gave it a shot. so i will, like you said, always wonder. but what i did.. i distanced myself. i met new people. and i tried to have emotions that eclipsed those i had for my unrequited love. i'm not sure you ever completely get over it. he'll wander into your mind some day and you'll wonder, again, what if. you'll imagine things, saying things, things happening between you that you know have and will never happen. and it might sting. but eventually, that throbbing pain does go away. it stops, and becomes only that little sting, that catch of your breath. and at some point, like me, you accept it as a part of you.
i do suggest however to not speak to him for awhile. but tell yourself you will someday. it'll get you through it. even if you never DO, it's always a possibility. you don't have to let him know you're cutting off communication. you just stop. you don't contact first. and you can try to start living for you again, not him.
good luck, sweetie. i completely feel for you.
If you're a one-in-a-million person, there are over six thousand other people in the world in your same situation.
I hate conditional love. It took me four long years to resolve my unrequited love. Hang in there. Your thinking will change with time and things won't seem so dark then.
been there and it sucks! ill never get over it....
idk what to tell you...im going through something similar