Thursday, 21 May 2009

• Single? Enjoy It Before You're Stuck

  OK, the word "stuck" sounds a little harsh but it is true...
  
  Before I became a married woman I was just like most of you out there - hoping to find "Mr. Right" and sometimes even "Mr. Right Now".  I'll admit, I was the girl that got drunk at a bar, made out with some cute guy and then later asked "what was your name again?" only to call up my girlfriends the next day sans a hangover and glorify the evening hoping I didn't give away my phone number or worse, praying I wasn't wearing my beer goggles if I did give away my number. 
  
  I used to be in relationships with weirdos and losers; some of them I was actually "in love" with, or so I claimed.  I hounded my guy friends for advice, cried when the relationships ended and then talked shit about them until eventually I forgot about them and moved on to the next "victim". 
  
  Yes, I was a bad girl and probably deserved to go out with a psycho that ultimately made me stop looking, and that's when I found my husband.
  
  Let me tell you something, my husband was not someone I expected to go out with.   He was too short and too skinny for my taste.  I wanted mine tall with broad shoulders who made me feel petite and helpless.  He was also unemployed, still going to school and partying wayyy too much for someone in their late 20's.  We met training Capoeira together and were friends for quite some time until he became my boyfriend and is now my husband, my best friend and the father of our beautiful child.
  
  I love my life but my excitement is now as cheesy as my son staggering around like a drunk midget (he's one year old) or listening to him repeat his first word, "hot", like a broken record.  It's really cute and sometimes I'll call my girlfriends, excited to tell them more silly, minute things my son did while they mumble the words "uh huh, oh cool", obviously not feeling the excitement there! 
  
  And although I still think my husband is the sexiest guy alive and someone I can never, ever live without, there are those weeks where we're too tired to have sex or when I want to take a mini vacation from him because he bugs me.  That's when I call my only married friend to ask her if it's normal that I can't stand my husband from time to time or I ask her if it's normal that I'm bored out of my fucking mind!  (Her answers are always yes.)  Marriage, like dating, is a lot of WORK...and don't get me started about having a baby in the picture. 
  
  What I'm getting at is even though you're single and yeah it sucks to be put in dumb, hurtful situations, being single is something you should enjoy now.  One of my girlfriends in a relationship was bitching to me about how she never gets to see her boyfriend because he's hanging out with the guys (e.g. my husband and our son's uncles) and this is what I told her (after I rolled my eyes):
  
  "Don't worry about it so much.  He's a good guy, he's not doing anything wrong and you know what, if you two get married then you're basically stuck with each other and trust me, there are times when you want a break from him...and what then?  You gotta stick it out because he put that ring on your finger.  Hang out with your girlfriends as much as you can at this point because there's no turning back once you have a baby!"
  
  After she laughed at my bluntness she calmed down and her boyfriend thanked me for having his back (hahaha).  And I went back to happily listening to the dates my other friends went on, alternately giving advice and cheering them on for their bold venture into the world of being single.
  
  Anyone out there single and loving it?  If so, I'm loving how you love it!

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