Wednesday, 20 May 2009
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He Won't Delete The Emails I Sent Him!
I kind of liked this guy called N at my workplace - he's working there on attachment for a really short time only. It was obvious we were together ALL the time; in fact, he brought up that we were together so much that many people asked my other colleagues whether anything was going on between us.There wasn't, though, 'cause he wasn't interested in anything but friendship. Obviously, I wanted more. Thus, I guess I became pretty needy for attention and wanting more and more. We fought every day and quarreled every day on Google Chat and on Facebook.
Fast forward to December (6 months after I'd met him), when things got really nasty and we were fighting almost every day - thank god for the one month break..In the meantime, I had dated another guy who I was head over heels in love with for three months, too.After the break, things went back to normal and he is now often seen with another girl in school, thank god, and now the gossip is away from me.
Now, six months later, I kicked him off of my Facebook, MSN and Google Chat, I wanted a fresh start by removing all the demons from behind me, and guess what? I asked him a favor, to remove all my messages and emails that I'd sent to him; after all, I'd already removed him from my Facebook. I mean, why should I continue talking to him? He was a jerk.
He refuses to! He says this is to protect him from anything that may happen to him or if I start "harassing him" or moving towards his boundaries again. I'm, like, WHY? I haven't really cared about you for six months, so who cares?
Grr..
Any solutions to this situation? He says he will only remove it in December when he leaves. Also, he promises never to show them to anyone. I did show them to a lawyer, and the emails definitely don't constitute harassment at all; they were just messages of concern....
What should I do now??
I hate this man, I really do.
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Comments (71)
Eh, not much you can do. Just wait til December, he said he'd delete them then.
he doesn't have to delete anything.
They're his emails. Get over it.
Should have though about it before you sent them if they really bother you...
I don't know why it matters... because you can't see them anyways. He might be just doing it to bug you. Just let it be and forget about it.
Don't do anything, move on and be your happy self since it sounds like he's doing neither. Keeping his emails just shows that he's a total psycho and if you do something about it, it'll show that you might be psycho too.
Honestly, he has every right to keep the emails if he feels he needs to or wants to. Clinginess and harsh words that you exchanged give him a good reason to keep them if he feels you might go back to being that way. Obviously, it sounds like you won't, so it shouldn't be a problem. Just move on. Not really sure why it bothers you so much that he has them anyway.
yeah, not much you can do. you should'nt really care, it's not like there are naked pictures or you or anything on 'em.
If you are moving on, why do care what he does with the emails? You said things, yeah, but its done and over. By engaging your emotions in his refusal to delete them, you are keeping yourself engaged with him.
The only way to keep the past the past is stop doing the the things you did in the past. If you really want put this behind you, do it.
Make peace with yourself and move on.
The title makes me laugh.
Why is it important to you that he deletes the mails or not?
And I also don't get why you call him a jerk, all he did was rejecting you. At least that's what I read from this post, sorry if I'm misinterpreting.
I save emails to protect myself all the time. This is normal in today's world.
Just let go of it. I mean, it's probably frustrating for you, but there isn't anything you can do.
Ignore it. Move on. And don't talk to him again.
You gave up your rights for privacy to those emails after clicking "send". They are in his possession now. It's his decision on whether or not to delete them. Move on.
Actually, he sounds pretty rational to me... it's his only protection if you filed a sexual harassment suit.
Let it go.
Lmfao u fucked up
december's only 7 months away.
What you need to do is go back in time and never send those messages. Other than that they are his property so get over it.
Nothing you can do, really.
It's just emails.
And not like you're hiding something.
So it's no big deal, really.
I don't even understand this. Were the emails that bad??
.... you are weird.
Wait until December?
There isnt anything you can do, its not like you can break into his emails and do it, because you know that he will know that it was you and potentially call the cops (It is illegal to hack someone's emails, computer, phone, etc..)
So just forget him. You two are over with now anyways, right?
I have to agree with what seems to be popular sentiment here. Once you clicked send, those messages became his to do with as he saw fit. If he deems it necessary to prevent a future harassment claim by keeping record of his contact with you and yours with him, then that is his prerogative.