Finishing my freshman year of college, I wasn't looking to start a new relationship before the summer. However, much to my delight, I went to our last school dance of the year and met a really beautiful, really fun girl; I ended up dancing with her and then just hanging out with her for a while that night. Since then, we've been hanging out for at least an hour nearly every day, which has been great, except that I'm not sure where this is going.
I have developed a fairly significant crush on her, but I've never been able to figure out how she feels about me. It could go either way in my mind, because about half of the time it seems like she's flirting with me and the other half it doesn't. She's pretty shy and doesn't talk much in public, but when we're together she won't shut up most of the time (not a bad thing). We can sit on a couch with another person on the other side of her and she'll be pressed right up against me and six inches away from them, etc. Then again, she also spends a lot of time talking about an old crush and her ex-boyfriend (apparently they're "best friends" and have been for a long time) and I've met the dude; he's nice and has his own girlfriend, so I'm not worried. Like I said, I haven't seen evidence to conclude either way on this matter.
She could just like me as a friend.
Regardless, other people have noticed how much time we spend together too, and I've had 4 or 5 different people ask me if we're dating or how long we've been dating in the last two weeks or so. We're parting ways at the end of this week for the summer, and though she only lives three hours away, I don't know that I would want to start something now or not anyway. Anyway, my question is, given all the evidence, should I say something to her about all this?
I think we're good enough friends and open enough to the dialogue that it wouldn't make things really awkward, but I could be wrong. Or should I just leave it alone and see if there's anything there next year when we meet up again in school? At this point I don't want to start anything, but I would really like to know what's going on in her head, just for my own sanity. What would you do? Bring up the possibility of a relationship or just leave it alone?
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Comments (37)
Yes! Say something to her. I've had silence backfire on me too many times. And I've been asked out by friends I wasn't interested in and remained good friends, so that's shouldn't be a worry.
She sounds like a normal woman; won't shut up, it's hard to tell when she's flirting, etc.
You've been spending an hour a day with her. She wouldn't spend an hour a day with you and flirt wth you if she didn't like you. Tell her you like her, or at least suggest it somehow. Take her out to dinner, go dancing, go see a movie, go cliff diving, play electric fence dare, whatever.
Say something! (=
yea, why not??
i had the same problem, it was rough... but a situation came up... where we both admitted things. im actually happy it ended up that way.
just tell her!
It really wouldn't hurt to bring it up to her. The worst she can say is no thanks.
talk to her, there's no harm, if something happens then it does :) Don't stress too much about it if you get a negative response, remember, there's always more fishes in the sea!
I have a similar situation - we'd been friends all second semester, and I was really starting to like him. We hung out for two and a half hours right before I left for the summer, and he confessed to having had/still sort of having a crush on one of our mutual friends who is dating a guy who he thinks is a jerk to her.
I was about two seconds away from spilling my guts about liking him, but that just didn't seem like the time to do it. We've been IMing since the semester ended, and I'll see what happens next semester. I think there is still some time to go between now and the opportune moment in my situation. I'm waiting until I feel confident enough in our friendship to do it.
With you, however, it sounds like now is as good a time as any. She seems to like you - and she hasn't confessed her feelings for someone else, which is a definite plus! I would say go for it, unless you think your chances would improve with more time. If it's the latter, then definitely make an effort to keep in touch over the summer!
do it!! hehe. can't hurt and besides it's better to just know how she feels about you. if she's down, then 3 hours isn't that far, honestly. but if she's just not that into you, then the summer break will be good to forget about it. either way make a move, buddy, before you wake up one day and carry around regret. good luck!
Of course you should say something to her. If she ends up just seeing you as a friend, then you have the entire summer for the awkwardness to fade away. Besides, these are the best years of your life. Don't waste them wondering "what if...".
Coming from a girl who didn't say a thing to a crush
it'll be much better to tell
whats the worst that could happen
she might be into you too
What is there to lose?
You should definitely say something. I think she's trying to get your attention or trying to get you jealous by talking about her crushes or past boyfriends...
Update on how it goes. Good luck!
Scenario 1) You say something and end up together and have a really nice relationship.
Scenario 2) You say something and she lets you down nicely and you have the summer to work out your awkward feelings and you have a fresh start with friendship next semester.
Scenario 3) You don't say anything, girl thinks you're a lost cause so says yes to a different guy who asks her out over the summer, they remain in a relationship through the beginning of next term, thus eliminating any hope of "waiting until the right time."
Your call. :)
- John
YES
or else you'll regret it
I was in almost the exact same situation. but since I fail at playing "the game" and I knew he wouldn't pick up on it anyways so I just flat out told him. after a week of hanging out with him every day while he was "thinking about it" I finally asked him again what he thought and he told me he couldn't give me what I wanted. I had already prepared myself for that so I was surprisingly ok with it. and actually, the more I hang out with him the less I like him as a friend, not gonna lie. I'm really glad we aren't dating now.
you sound like you might be a little more smarter than I was though, I barely knew him. If I were you I would..... I would wait. keep up conversations, and if the subject just naturally comes up then take the chance then. but don't set up the situation. just let it happen. keep being awesome with her, and be patient.
i kinda sorta feel the same way
She definitely has feelings for you....
It may be awkward to bring up the subject of you liking her, but it'll be relieving afterwards. Just do it. I think she'll be relieved as well... she may also feel the same way as you. "Where is he taking this ... ?"
Unfortunately, girls are fickle... and may change their minds last minute... even if they like the darn guy. Do it soon, so she knows! =)
Ahhhhhh, I'm in the same situation. It's hurts that neither of us have said anything to each other... (yes, i'm being a hypocrite for telling u to confess) ... but heyy!! JUST DO IT . hahaha
When she talks about her ex she's prob just trying to make you jealous, and yes obviously she luvs ya so tell her how you feel. . . in fact you should go tell her now lol
I think she likes you. Mentioning her past crushes or her best friend is probably her way of trying to make you a little jealous.
Trust me, I know.
Tell her. Shyness never got me anywhere.
no one else said it, so i will...telling her flat out "i have a crush on you" is a really really good way to make her lose interest. it takes the fun out of the chase, from her perspective.
Ask her out on a date.
Ask her out or regret it forever! The worst thing that could happen is that she'll say no (which is never fun but not the end of the world) and the fact that you guys are going different ways for the summer would help if she does... but I highly doubt she will! It sounds like you have quite a good chance. :)
Ahh, say something! She might meet some guy during the summer >.>
Good luckk!