Tuesday, 19 May 2009

  • Money Can Keep Two People Together or Tear Them Apart

    With the decline in the economy comes a decline in money. The economy has not been very good lately and many people have been losing their jobs. No jobs = no money and we all know, though we hate to admit it, that money does play a big role in life although most believe that money does not buy happiness.

    My boyfriend has never thought of money as an important factor in our relationship, and I haven't either. Lately, though, he has been having some money issues. He has a job and everything, but he never seems to have enough to get by because of school and bills. I offered to help him with his money issues, but he refuses it and we get into an argument about how I think it's just money, and how he just can't take it from me.

    Then it made  me think about couples and how money seems to either keep them together or tear them apart.

    Does money play a factor in your relationship? Do you believe money is important/unimportant in a relationship?

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Comments (21)

  • Dare2BDiferentt@xanga

    Money can start lots of arguments and conflicts in any relationship, unless you're both stable, in which case you'll need something else to argue about.


    I'm going to marry for money.
  • wolvenchic@xanga

    lol well, I think that money can be a big factor, expecially if both individuals are career people and the jobs move in seperate directions. I knew a couple married for 25 years and they divorced, not because of problems in marriage, but because thier companies relocated. If you really love someone and know that money is an issue, there can be compromise; but like said before, sometimes it can tear a relationship apart if neither partener are willing to negotiate.
  • sexybluefairy@xanga

    I think money is important in a relationship because it is a major issue that a couple needs to work together on.  A couple is going to struggle if one person continues to spend when there is no money to spend with and the other person is trying to save money.  A couple might not agree exactly on money issues but a compromise is important in hard times like this in order for a couple to survive.  Stability is majorly important and I think money can be a make or break issue in relationships.  It might not play as big of a role in some relationships but I still think it's very important.
  • xdeathfighterx@xanga

    money is a factor because its more than just currency, its a ticket created by the society we live in that exploits human's natural needs, our will to live, our search for pleasure and our unsettling curiosity. All these things have been incorporated into a nice little system, no longer will we have to waste tons of effort to gain certain pleasures, just follow the system, work, get paid, use money to satisfy your needs. 
  • StepHyKu2517___v3v@xanga

    $$   $$
       vvv
  • methodElevated@xanga

    Money definitely plays a factor in my relationship.  I'm unable to hold down a regular job because of a disability, and it causes stress (more so with me than my SO because I often feel worthless that I can't live up to society's expectations).  His family doesn't even bother trying to understand the situation and is always nagging him about it.  They disapprove of our relationship because of it, and they think he's with me just for companionship.  My SO is okay with the situation, though, and loves me for who I am -- problems and all.  I make enough with my online business to pay for small things I want and need, and that's all he asks for.  I'm happy I can at least contribute that much, although I wish I could be healthy enough to pay for half of our expenses.

    I think money is important in most relationships.
  • XxFireXboltxX@xanga

    Money is actually the only thing my husband and I argue about. They aren't major "throwing things and screaming" arguments but they stress me out.

    We are in the midst of doing Dave Ramsey's Total Money Make-Over and we are like, four months away from being debt free. I have my eye on that debt free goal and he is more, relaxed about it. So that's why we argue --- because I want it paid off now and he is like, let's just stick to the schedule!

    But I've seen couples really get into it over money. A guy he works with is getting a divorce right now and the biggest reason is because they are 100,000 in debt and his wife just keeps spending -- like she is ignoring it.

    To me keeping communication open about money is just as important as keeping the other lines of communication open! It's just hard to do sometimes!
  • justXforXyou_beautiful@xanga

    Money does play a slight part in our relationship, what with it being a 600 mile drive (to and from there), and with gas prices still pretty ridiculous and me driving a Tahoe...yeah, winds up being $100+ for me to go see him. He luckily has a little car that can make the trip on $40 but still... no money, no seeing each other, and that would definitely hurt our relationship...
  • xSayakax@xanga

    I think it's a guy's pride to not use his gf's money.  Currently, money has not been an issue in my relationship because we both work and we both agreed to treat each other, so that not only one person spends a lot when we go out.  However, your situation is more severe than mine and I'm not sure how my bf would react if he was in this situation.  
  • spanz@xanga

    It doesn't play an important role but it does play somewhat of a role.. He should be able to buy my dinner ONCE in a while or something.. nothing big.. I'll buy him dinner once in a while, idk, just don't be cheap =P
  • pillowpixies@xanga

    I think that if money issues can tear a relationship apart, than the relationship wasn't too strong to begin with. People all go through hardships in their relationships, in the normal population money would be one of them.

    Money isn't an issue in my relationship. We're going to get by somehow or another. Money doesn't buy happiness, so it shouldn't be able to have the power to pull two people apart either.
  • a_single_raindrop@xanga

    Money is important, but in different ways to both of us. He spends his money very quickly while I rarely spend money unless necessary. I don't like spending money (but I do have money) and he like spending money ... that he doesn't have. It works out for us lol.

  • zretrareo27@xanga

    That's a male ego thing. 
  • inspireothers@xanga

    It's more of the male's bruised ego. Guys would do a lot just to avoid borrowing/ allowing his girlfriend to help him financially. To them it means they're incapable of.. Whatever. Which results to a low self-esteem and think they cannot do anything else but to rely on you to rescue them like the previous times before o-o"
  • Becoming_Lost_In_My_Dreams@xanga

    As much as money really shouldn't play a factor in a relationship, it's absolutely going to if your relationship is in or moving to a serious stage. My boyfriend is in the military, and though we haven't really reached that stage where money makes a difference, it helps to know that when things do get more serious, I know that we and our future family will be supported. But as of right now, borrowing a large amount of money or letting him pay for something expensive seems like it would be awkward and just not right. I'm sure with men it has to do with ego, but maybe you're just not at that stage where borrowing money like that would seem right to him. Everyone moves at their own pace.
  • BimBo_HiPPo@xanga

    well i am not one for money and i dont think my bf is either. but we can't live without so.. what can you do!?
    my bf would never take money from me, i think its a guy ego thing... getting money from their women seems like a slap in the face for them~

    i was out at dinner with my bf and his friends and their gfs and one of the guys asked for his wallet from his gf in her bag and my bf said.. 'getting money from you women?' and was just being silly about it.

    if they really at a dead end then they would accept your offer but otherwise if they even have a air con vent they can crawl through they would rather crawl! :)
  • singleville@xanga

    money is always a sensitive topic between couples. ALWAYS. But with good communication and efforts, i think things can pull through. Good Luck!
  • missleshya

    i think its his ego i think also if he doesnt wnt to accept it then leave it as that, let him do is own thing in the meantime i think he will appreciate your sweetness.
  • Lady_queen

    I think it is important because honestly it gets us threw day by day  but in my relationship it has never been a factor we struggled we strived and rigth now we are maintaining.....We have an understanding the pass three years he has worked to support our little family  and i have stayed at home and rasied our son and gone to school but now that i graduated i'm going to start working and he is going to go to school part time  and still work. I used to  be like your boy friend tho i wouldnt let him  help me  with anything when it came to money hell i didnt let him buy me anything for two years i really the definition of an independent women .
  • locketine@xanga

    It might be an ego thing or it might not be.

    I knew a girl who broke up with a guy after a year long relationship because he was making investments in his future without including her. Buying a house, a new car, etc. She wanted to contribute but he refused to let her. The relationship basically fell apart after that because it turned out he didn't see a future with her but didn't want to end the relationship either.

    It sounds like your relationship is pretty healthy otherwise though so it's probably just the delusion us men have that we should be the providers.
  • Blue_ButterflyBaby@xanga

    I dont believe that it is the money.  I think it is the stress of not having enough money for things that tears relationships apart.

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