Monday, 18 May 2009
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My BFF And I Hooked Up - Now He Won't Talk to Me
Okay, let's see. This is how it went. My boyfriend has been jealous of my best friend, "Nixon," for a really long time because he knew that I have had feelings for him. So my boyfriend "Aaron" forbade me from talking to my best friend.Of course, I'm a dumb brat, so I go behind my boyfriend's back to talk to my friend. Then one day, I felt guilty so I told my best friend, "Hey. I don't wanna keep doing this, so we really should stop talking 'cause it's hurting him a lot to know that I still care about you. But I wanna repay you back for everything that you've done for me in the past." He's helped me a LOT, even with my troubles with Aaron. He said that he wanted to see me, and that's how I can repay him back. He said he just wanted to hang out with me. He lives around an hour away from me, so the last time we saw each other was around a year ago.
So we saw each other on a Saturday night. And things just got...waaay out of hand. We held hands, made out, then after, got a little touchy. He went up my shirt and you know how it goes, around second or third base. But anyway, after that day, he texted me a lot. The first two days after that night, he talked to me and made plans to see each other the next week. So I said yes, despite the fact that I have a boyfriend.
Now, I don't need advice on cheating on my boyfriend. Right now, that's behind me.
We saw each other again and things got out of hand, but this time, REALLY way out of hand. I've known him for five years and I know how he is. We had sex twice that day, and that was his first time. For me, he was my second. I only had one condom, and we used it the first time. The second time we didn't use anything, and he came in me.
Luckily, I have Plan B at home. I took it, and now I'm not worried about getting pregnant or anything.
Anyways, after that night, he hasn't texted me AT ALL. This is the second day after it happened, and he still has not left any kind of message. I don't know what's going on. I feel used, but I don't wanna think of him as that kind of person. But I really have no choice but to feel this way.
Has anyone ever had sex with their BFF and suddenly lost contact?
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Comments (122)
You should probably wash your hands off him, as he let you cheat on your boyfriend. He must not have much respect for you or him, since he allowed it to happen.
Good riddance, I'd say. Not sure if you deserve the boyfriend, either.
Classic case of hit it and quit it.
If he's really your friend, he'll come around and talk to you again. Right now he may feel ashamed and guilty for what happened...ya know since you have a boyfriend and all. If he doesn't come around, well, now you know that maybe he wasn't such a great guy after all.
Your boyfriend's going to be pissed though, if he doesn't know. Not only did you disrespect him, you flat out disrespected your relationship.
HAHA you feel used. You for sure are the victim in this situation.
What AnonymousBlonde said, except your boyfriend deserves better than you.
you cheated on your boyfriend for a dude who fucked you and left? that's kind of an epic fail.Â
How could you possibly be the victim? You didnt HAVE to hold hands with him, or kiss him. And you most certainly weren't forced to sleep with him.
This whole situation is your fault. I wouldn't be suprised if your boyfriend dumps you when he finds out. Good riddance for him as well. Now you won't have your "bff" or your boyfriend anymore because of your selfishness.
Sorry, but I have zero tolerance for anyone who tries to make excuses for cheating on their significant other.
You've just had sex (not once, but twice) with your "best friend forever"
while being absolutely clear of the fact that you're doing this behind your boyfriend's back,
and now you wonder possibly why he must be ignoring you...
Have you no sense of shame at all? Because I'm assuming that your "BFF" does, and he's ignoring you for the best reasons.
I am also assuming your relationship with your boyfriend is not going so well either. I'm sorry, but you can't have your cake and eat it too.
You're just a fucking idiot. That's all the advice I have to give you.
I think you have more problems to worry about than whether the guy you cheated on your boyfriend with will talk to you.
If he was truly your best friend would he have played a part in your cheating on your boyfriend or stopped talking to you?
I think you know the answer.
You're on your own on this one. All you can do now is cut all contact with your now ex BFand BFF, and move on.
Cheating = BAD. Get it?
I don't think that he's a bad person. I think he fell in love with you during those 5 years, but thinks that he can't have you because you have a bf. Making love to you was probably his good bye to you, and he had to move on. Well it's hard to explain... because I was at his position once, except I left and I didn't have sex with the girl that I was talking with.
Okay, so. You went behind your boyfriends back and kept talking to your best friend. You told your best friend that "you didn't like hurting your boyfriend" so you needed to quit talking. So you decide.. to fucking hang out with him instead?
"Sorry, we can't talk anymore. But we can hang out, and you can feel me up. A few days after that you can help me cheat on my boyfriend by having sex with me twice. Then we won't talk anymore."
Are you serious? If you actually cared about your boyfriend you wouldn't have gone behind his back, and you definitely wouldn't have went to hang out with that guy behind his back. You wouldn't have cheated on him and act so nonchalant about it, either.
"We cheated but that's behind me lawlz."
Jeeze. Pathetic. You got what you deserved by him ignoring you now.
Chances are your friend got pissed because you "chose your boyfriend over him" -- which you obviously didn't -- so he decided he'd use your "feelings" for him first and then leave.
You didn't wanna talk anymore, looky there -- you aren't talking anymore!
I am so tired of cheaters acting like they did nothing wrong. You were a screwball, you got what you deserved, maybe your friend will come back to screw around later in the future, end of story.
You're crying that you're the victim? Not only did he allow it to happen, so did you. If either one of you had any ounce of respect for your relationship, this wouldn't have happened. You could have said no, but you didn't, and you have the audacity to wonder why the fuck he won't talk to you? Get real. Even he knows what he did was wrong. He helped you go behind your boyfriend's back and cheat on him. At least one of you has a sense of right and wrong.
wow this sucks
Karma.
Maybe he's ashamed for helping you cheat.
Or maybe he's disappointed in you because he thought you were a trustworthy person.
Maybe HE feels used, yanno, since you're USING him to cheat on your boyfriend. You were giving him the run around while you continue to date your boyfriend...playing both of them at the same time.
Your poor boyfriend and "BFF" are the victims, you got exactly what you wanted. You got your boyfriend, got your BFF's attn for a while, and since you were the one who told him you wanted to stop talking...he is only complying (probaby after realizing that it really is the best decision, since yanno, you guys seem to lose all self control around one another).
It's funny how you said you felt "used" by your bff yet you are using your bf as a "back up" in case things don't go so swell with your bff or used to be, anyways.
You played with fire and you got burned. Next time, just don't be a skank. And nothing really "gets out of hand." You two wanted it.. yeah.
In a way, I think that it's wrong of your boyfriend to forbid you from talking to your best friend. I mean, if you've shown him he can trust you, than why would he have doubts, right? Then again, you're more at fault for cheating on your boyfriend. As for your BFF, I think that he realizes that "once a cheater, forever a cheater," so he made a good choice by staying away... Or it could like what the person before me said, your Bff could feel guilty and wants to stay away....
I was in the same situation a few years ago as well. I hooked up with an ex of mine, knowing that she's not available... I had strong feelings for her and was confident that we would unite again: However, I couldn't be a part of anything scandolous... So I just removed myself from the three people triangle/scenario.....
Wow. You're lame. This is easily the most selfish yet fitting story I've ever read lol.
You don't deserve relationships if you can't be honest. Suckaaaa.
FAIL.
To answer your question, no.
To not answer your question...WTF?
Wow. Poor thing.
All these kids are beating you up. In my book, it's just sex. Call or txt your bff. What's the worst that can happen? Really? You can talk it out. Maybe you'll go back to being friends. Maybe you won't. But don't just stew and wonder. You had sex with him and deserve a conversation about it.
no i don't see them in that way.
have you texted him or tried to contact him? coz if not, he prolly figures you're never going to talk to him again for the sake of your bf... ...
You feel used? LOL, you cheated on your boyfriend & used him as a backup... psh, you feel used.
I'd say YOU contact HIM & this time don't let anything get out of hand if you wanna keep your boyfriend.
Well, I guess you repaid him and now he is honoring your request and stopping all communication between the two of you.
I suggest you zip up your trousers and get on with it. Dump your boyfriend and give him a chance to actually find someone worth his while.