Monday, 18 May 2009
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Literature Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations of Women
I read too much. This might sound like some crazy paradox: Surely reading is a positive thing, therefore how can one break the desired standard, and read too much? Well. Reading has given me lots of unrealistic expectations. Especially when it comes to love and women.
It fills my head with all these irresistible, irrevocable notions and characters that can not be found outside of books. So basically, I'm searching for something that doesn't exist. Because the women of great literature aren't realistic in the slightest.
They've made me long for someone who will find my arrogance adorable, as witty as she is pretty, a veritable Elizabeth Bennet. A woman who'll forgive me for bludgeoning her family in the streets, or the fact that I only happened to meet her because I was at her house looking for some other girl, as did Juliet.
A female who'll desert her much richer and more powerful husband to cavort about on the sea with me, and whose face will launch a thousand ships, inspiring a devastating war like Homer's Helen.
A lady who won't care if I kept the batty women of my past locked in the attic (just like Jane Eyre!) and who will offer me hope in a hopeless world, as did 1984's Julia, even if that does end with us both brainwashed and thinking 2+2=5.
I just want an Ada who'll spend every day praying for my return, not knowing if I'm alive or dead or even if I care one iota about her, but waiting on me anyway. An Eponine who'll take a bullet for me, whilst delivering me letters from another lover, and whose heart is so intrinsically woven with my own that she'll DIE from thinking she can take her love elsewhere, as did Cathy of Wuthering Heights.
And I want a lady that will regally throw herself to the snakes on hearing of my death, in the style of Shakespeare's Cleopatra, or drink fatal poison if I were to admit that I didn't actually fancy her as much as I might have implied, like some unfortunate Sybil Vane.
I long for all these impossible, over-dramatic things, because I want our romance to be written about for centuries to come.
And it appears that love like that just don't happen anymore. So I'm a little screwed.
THANK YOU LITERATURE FOR GIVING ME UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF WOMEN!
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About the Author
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- From: TheL0ki@xanga
- About Me: He's just a bit: Dramatic . Adventurous. Stubborn. Messy. Cultured. Spoiled. Lazy. Histrionic. Charming. Deluded. Reckless. Friendly. Selfish. Feisty. Obsessive. Romantic. Ambitious. Optimistic. Cynical. Hopeless. Lucky.
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Comments (195)
Hahaha, I've read all these books. You rock for being a well-read guy!
It's also very true that books (and movies, tv shows, etc) give women unrealistic expectations of guys, so I guess we're even :P
cute!!!
I think you should date a librarian...
I think if you met someone crazy enough you could make it happen!
There actually are some women like that, they're just not all over the place like those books would seem to make others believe. Books haven't ever given me any kind of expectations for people, though.
So true... "/
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - Haha, beat me to it.
Date a librarian, man.
the type of woman you're looking for ... you've combined from a hundred different characters. you're not realizing that EACH of those characters had a different flaw. or perhaps you DO realize it, but you do not want their flaws. you just want their positive traits.
you just decribed the dream woman of every man alive. trust me, there probably isn't ONE single (straight) man out there who wouldn't want a girl who is witty, is drop dead gorgoeous (enough to launch a 1000 ships), cares & loves about them enough to not give a damn if he isn't rich, loves him enough to wait and pray for him without thinking if he's alive or dead etc etc ...
it's not reading that did this to you. you just found various different qualities of the perfect woman in various literature ..... cause according to what you have described, she has no flaws
and you will, sadly, never meet this girl cause she isn't in existence... not even in fiction, will you meet the girl you just described.
know whats funny?
literature may have given you unrealistic expectations of women... but movies have given women unrealilistic expectations of men... LOL it's a two way street.I can see it in the way of males/men as well. Haha, my my.
i feel this same way about men.
I understand what you mean and I believe that, as many have pointed it, the same feeling is felt for many women about the qualities in a man... I've heard my women long for a "Mr. Darcy" for one.
I found that the qualities you listed above you can find (in time) and the same goes for women in finding men. The only difference is that the book cannot possibly reveal all the eccentricities that often seem to overpower those qualities, the flaws which make us all the more human... I look at it as though the qualities from the books represent qualities we cherish, but the eccentricities and flaws are what make a person unique and imperfect... where imperfection is perfection.
Read modern literature then
lol hahah, well just find a woman who loves the same books you do :D
@IcO_imagine@xanga - loll so true.
Just hang out in the romance section of a bookstore.
I think Jane Austen brainwashed my mind that men should be like Darcy.... hehe lol...
You might be right.
It's good to know that women aren't alone in fawning over fictitious characters.
my dream man isn't from books, but the pirates of the caribbean trilogy movies and his name is jack sparrow. I'm waiting for the day when johnny realizes that france isn't for him and he'll run into my arms wearing that pirate costume, dreads, goatee and propose to me in his sexy pirate accent, in which I'll agree and then celebrate our wedding by making that creepy octopus beard guy to walk the plank
it can happen! as for your dream woman, I think it is martha stewart
she seems sort of crazy since she's an ex-con, who possibly has a few tricks up her cardigan sleeves
I think people should stop adopting glamorized perceptions of love and just get out there and make it happen.
Walt Disney did the same thing for us women. As little girls we were fed stories that said we were helpless and we needed a man to save us from our wretched lives.
My first instinct was to go WAHHH at this, and after actually reading it it's still to go WAH WAH WAH and offer you a nap, but meh...I do get it.
After years of fantasizing about the perfect man (a combination gleaned from books, movies, music, and personal experience), I think I may have found him. Best part is that he's actually real xD. If it weren't for all the various influences pounding down on my head, though, I'd probably never have gotten half the ideas for what an amazing mate would be like.
I do agree with the idea that you should date a librarian, or at least a bookworm. She'll at least be able to make conversation, even if she isn't a perfect combination of all the qualities you listed.
@tvols11@xanga - lol. Now the men want us to save them!
@mycontinuity@xanga - Hopeless bastards lol.
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Women like that DO exist. But where are the men?
I am of the opinion that the difference is much greater between men in
literature vs. women in literature (aside from lusty Romeo). Women just have to
abide by fewer rules now.
What wealthy man nowadays is going to pick a girl who is plain and little and
of a lower class (JE) over a woman famed for her beauty (Blanche)? Where is the
determined ardor of Gilbert Markham, to return again and again to a cold and
unwelcoming woman, even defending her against slander? Where are the sensible
Edmund Bertrams, so steadfast in their values that they refuse to sacrifice
just for a beautiful and advantageous match. How about the lack of successful entrepreneurial
John Thortons, complete with open minds as well as hearts, protective and
gallant, even after rejection? Let’s not even talk about Darcy, who is so
perfect that everyone can agree he is a complete figment of a woman’s
imagination. Give me a man who would be courageous enough to travel through
the depths of Hell to rescue me (Orpheus), and a man who would better himself
for our sake (Dale Dewy). I want a man who, if not rich and powerful (Raoul de
Chagny), would be happy and contented with a quieter life (Edward Ferrars). I
don’t need a man to pour his love out in the form of poetry on a page and risk
his life to deliver it (Cyrano), but a man who’d respect my intellect and who
could maybe find something to learn from stories I might have to share (Shahryar). Give me a Man.
Can you see why girls fawn over Edward?
While he may be a bit too pale to most, he`s tall, dark and not just handsome, but beautiful. His eyes range from topaz on a good day to obsidian black when he`s thirsty for blood. Every girl wants a guy whose eyes can naturally change color; contacts are so overrated. He`s intelligent [he`s been around for how long?], and such the gentleman, like our great-great-grandfathers probably were. He can read minds and body language like they`ve been written on paper, and he always says the right thing [of course he`s not reading a script, no way]. He`s got a built-in radar for coming to Bella`s rescue from sexual predators and other vampires. He is oh-so-protective of her, fighting off other men. Sigh. And money will never be an issue. His family would still live in that big glass house and drive all those luxury cars if Carlisle quit his job. Don`t forget his rippling muscles, amazing strength, or smooth, porcelain skin. The only flaw? His looks can literally kill. Lethal combination.