I went out with a guy from Craigslist (I KNOW, I KNOW) after I put up an ad saying I wanted to find someone to see movies with - completely platonically. He sounded normal and we went out; although we didn't have a lot in common, we got along well enough. After the first time we hung out, he invited me to this Fourth of July party at his friend's house. We could see fireworks, have a cookout, meet people, etc. Cool, I said, and on we went.
So when we got to the party, there were two problems. The first was that everyone assumed we were dating (which was not the case at all) and the second was that when people asked how we met, he looked at me kind of like
what the hell do I say? and made up some fib about how we had a mutual friend. Not really, bub.
He came back to check on me after I went into the apartment to get a beer and struck up a conversation with a girl I didn't know. She saw him and asked how we met, and when I said that we weren't dating but met through Craigslist, he got really upset and shot me a look. Like, sorry, but am I honestly going to lie to people I don't know because you don't want them to know you go on Craigslist?
Needless to say, the last time I saw him was July 4th. I bet he's still looking on the site, though.
Is it embarrassing to say you met someone online? Why do you think this guy got so upset about it?
Recommend
Comments (99)
I dunno, I really don't see why people are still "scared" of telling people that. As if "yeah we met at a bar" would be so much better.
It's 09. People use computers/technology every day. The dating/meeting people is an inevitable social evolution.
I've met a lot of people online, one of em is my closest friend.
It is somewhat embarassing to say you met someone online bc it somehow implies that you are desperate and have no other way of meeting people. Also, there's probably a dating site hierarchy, in which case eharmony might be at the top of the list and in which craigslist would probably be at the bottom of the list.
I met my guy online, though neither of us were looking. We just sort of found each other through blogging in the same metro. We're not ashamed of the meeting online thing.
In our society, it's such a taboo subject. People aren't very accepting of it. But younger generations are more and more technologically savvy, so I think over time it will become more accepted to say you "met online." But, for now, meeting someone online will remain a taboo thing and people will frown upon it.
I also think it's frowned upon because you only hear the negative side to meeting someone online in the news, media, etc. (For example, pedophiles creating MySpace pages and 'meeting' young girls, then convincing them to meet at a park, then bad things happen, etc.) So, because of the bad things we hear about online meeting/ dating, people frown upon it...
yes, it's embaressing.
it shouldn't be, but
1. it's not done very often, not enough to be the normal
2. people instantly think "oh, they must be too desperate to get a real SO"
3. for some odd reason, a friend of mine says that craigslist is ONLY for people looking for kinky sex.
Doesn't really make sense to me though.
In the future, you might want to go over things like that with your date.
Maybe the girl had something against online meetings, you never know.
I really don't think there's anything wrong with it... I used to think it was pathetic to have to resort yourself to online dating but it really is just a way to find someone to just go on a date with and then see how things end up... it all sounds pretty normal to me.
my current bf (ive been dating for 4 years or so) met online.
he found me on xanga. lol
i think saying i met online is better than saying i met him at a
bar/club/party. cus then people just assume, "oh, you were drunk" or
something stupid like that.
but yes, people still fear to say "we met online"
my parents don't know i met him online, i told her it was my friend's
friend. if she finds out i met him online, she would freak!
Because myspace is the new booty call.
I dunno, it just seems kinda... weird? Almost as if you're cheating by looking online, and kinda shopping for a date/friend. I guess if relationships are supposed to happen, they need to happen naturally, not in the artificiality of the interweb.
Just my take.
I met my hubby online and he's so wonderful. Our relationship is better than any I had meeting through "conventional" ways. We met through one of those sites where you fill out a compatibility quiz (called Emote which is now something else) and we met in 2003 and got married this past July. I highly recommend this method as long as you are careful. Our first "date" was in a Starbucks.
Online okay.
Craiglist... eh... my friend still does that and I hate it when she talks about them. hehe, I'm like the overprotective Asian dad when it comes to my female best friends. >_<
because it isn't wise
there is no way of really knowing if the person on the other side of the computer is really a normal person or a predator it isn't 100% safe & there are has been far too many bad endings.
This totally reminds me of this close friend of mine. She posted a very sarcastic post on Craigslist describing herself and the guy she's "looking" for. It was a joke, but people answered and she talked to this one guy who seemed the most interesting. Now they're dating and they're going strong! At first I thought it was strange, but what works works. :D (of course we stalked them on their first date to make sure he wasn't a creeper)
I guess they assume that he felt that people would see him as "desperate" to result to online. I'm not saying that I view people meeting each other online as desperate. I'm just saying that some people see it like that. I don't. I met my boyfriend at my birthday party conjoined with a friends. (He was from her side) And we didnt talk that day. We talked online.
i am shy to let ppl know i met my bf through online...==
My boyfriend and I met through plentyoffish.com We have no issues telling people that.
I think people see it as different. It's not bad, but it's not normal I suppose, and so when they hear it, it's a bit of a surprise.
But it doesn't really matter. As long as the two people are fine with one another.
because it isn't as romantic as meeting underneath the eiffel tower on a starry night or in the philosophy aisle at a bookstore when we both grabbed the same book at the same time
and from there sparks flew as he walked me to the cash register lane and offered to hold my book, the same book that we both touched, and kept underneath my pillow
as we talked for hours on the phone. then eventually got engaged and married...is a better/more magical story to tell your future grandkids
the previous ma or may not have happened to me minus the marriage part because I'm still young and fickle...rather than say...posting sexy mugshot pictures of yourselves on myspace/facebook/craigslist or other plent of fish or other dating sites and emailing/instant messaging each other online for months before meeting up in a crowded public place in case it is a psycho kidnapper from dateline nbc to catch a predator
or if luck has it, a sane person, who you might continue to date, then eventually marry or just hooked up with
but can't tell your friends or else they'll ruin your game and your date will find out about all those player lies
Well, although I didn't technically meet my fiance through myspace (actually, through a drunk phone call from him to a mutual friend of ours that I so happened to be with...haha) we did start talking first through myspace, then got phone numbers, etc.
I think with us though it's not as bad because we have a few mutual friends, so I knew meeting up with him wasn't gonna be a bad idea or anything.I think people make the automatic assumption that somebody who finds someone online is desperate, perhaps socially awkward, and generally "lame." Most of my family feels that way about it. Whether they've met someone online or not, they're wary about the subject because they don't really grasp the concept.
Everyone uses the internet, it's typically inevitable that you'll meet someone new. If you two hit it off (in a platonic way or otherwise) and meet in person, what's wrong with saying that you met online? If you were looking around the internet in a rush looking for someone (IE: desperation) then there could be something to be embarrassed of; otherwise.. no.
I think that the guy in your situation lacked confidence and perhaps a pair.
me and my best friend met online, well, we met through a friend, online, does that count?
I think it is just new and different. It doesn't matter much to me how couples meet.
my ex and I met online..and, while I never felt ashamed of telling that to people, shejust said that to her best friends and family. colleagues, acquaintances, neighbours instead knew we met while we were in America...and I've never been in America.
I think it sounds like a thing for losers and loners. Just like saying "hey, he's not able to find a girl if he's not behind a pc.."..sounds pathetic but sometimes I had this thinking too..but, anyway, I never felt ashamed to say we met online..
People hear so much about the bad things that happen online they think that about everything. YES it does happen but tons of good things happen too. Meeting friends, life mates, even family members find each other online.
It's kinda like how people used to call each other alot but didnt meet in person for a while, they would be embarrassed to say they met on the phone. It's 2009. come on.
I don't know why some people act like that. I met my boyfriend online and we're still together. I've met some of my friends online too.
I met my boyfriend online, we were both posting on some forum, and then we got to know each other through msn. It's nothing wrong with meeting a guy online, but I don't know...I had problem with saying that to others.