At the age you are
atthisverysecond, would you date someone who had a kid? Whether or not this person has current custody is up to you.
I don't think I could. I'm a great babysitter (how modest of me) but I'm not ready to have kids yet and knowing that there was a pre-established family would make me feel intrusive to that unit and kind of uncomfortable. I think I'd want to start a family of my own, not join one later, you know?
Could I be missing out on a great guy because of my automatic "no thank you"? Yes. But I don't want to be a mom or step-mom or step-girlfriend-mom.
What do you think?
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Comments (65)
I'm not sure. When I think of a man with a kid, I just think about how much commitment this would signify in the relationship, if we were to have one. I'm not good with that much responsibility or commitment, honestly.
yes i would date someone with a kid...or kids
probably not if i knew he had one..a kid is baggage..and one you can't get rid of.
At this very moment? No.
Several years down the line? Possibly.
Not at my age (18), I wouldn't. If I was in my 30's & still single, I might.
i would date someone with a kid! :)
Depends on how old he is...
I'm doing it now...I'm 23 and my boyfriend has 2 kids, ages 9 and 4 and I hate it. It was one thing when we weren't living together and the kids only saw me once in a while, but now that we're "shacking up" and the kids are here for a month at a time, it's frustrating...I downright hate it. I know it's selfish of me, but I'd much rather have someone who is baby and babymomma drama free.
Ya know, things happen in life...people make mistakes and such. (Well I hope any guys around my age, 18, wouldn't be trying for a kid...)
So I think if he was a great guy and accepted responsibility of his actions and helped take care of his kid, I would consider it...it'd still be hard though. And this is all assuming I was single...hahaNo. I would not
I dated someone who has kids. I wouldn't worry too much about becoming a step parent until you cross the bridge. A lot of times, they're not looking for someone to play that role since the child already has biological parents.
Same here sister!
Met a friend's hot older brother: Latin, built/toned/not gorilla, educated, yes-job, gorgeous smile... w/ a baby WAIT WHAT?!!
I was only 20 at the time... NOPE SORRY NO CAN DO
Me no want no BABY MAMA DRAMA!!!
No, since technically I am a kid myself under law. That would be too weird.
Well since I am a single mom, I definitely would. Honestly, I can see why some people wouldn't want to do it but yes you could miss out on a perfectly great person if you avoid someone just because they have a child.
Totally, i think kids are wonderful.
Well, I was in the situation before. I wanted to date a friend that I have known for 10 years now (this was about a year ago). She has a son who will be 2 this year and, to me, it didn't really bother me that she had a kid. I was one of the first people she told anyways when she found out so, eh.
I'm 22 ... and I couldn't date someone who had a kid. Mostly because they (should) have a line of different priorities... children should be paramount, in my opinion. I wouldn't share those, at least while we were dating ... it'd be a huge part of our lives that wouldn't necessarily mesh at that time, and I'd view that as a major issue. Also, I admit, I'm not good with kids ... I've never really been around them. So ... that would be intimidating to me. Maybe if I'm (God forbid) in my 30s and still not married - I'd consider it. But until then - absolutely not.
No. I don't want the ex girlfriend who helped make the baby hanging around all of the time. That would drive me up the blasted wall. Plus he'd end up having to pay child support, I'm sure. I'm just starting out my life; I don't need to automatically be a step mom while helping pay for his child support when I didn't even make the kid.
If the child wasn't in his custody, and I knew he was financially able to provide for it, I'd question his personality. I mean, usually when a guy doesn't hang around the kid.. he's a jerk. So if he's got a kid that he never sees, I wouldn't even consider him for a millisecond.
No. I am too selfish right now to share my gf with a kid. I have several friends with kids and they're great, but I couldn't date them because I know how much time they have to devote to their kid. I think its great that they do, but I don't want a gf who can turn me down for a date cuz she can't find a babysitter.
Nope, no kid. . . .im young and im not established. And i dont want the kid to have the collateral like "your not my father you cant tell me what to do" and "i hate him he's not my dad" and "You dont have to pretend to like me to get in good with my mom".
I have before, and would again, while I would love to have kids I don't know that I will ever have one of my own, so step-kids would be fine.
Erm, at this point? No. :/
well im 22 so..
1 i wouldn't go for a once been married guy
2 even big no if he had kids even if he wasn't married
its not that i dont like kids.. ok yes i dont like kids but i think its weird.. i dont think i will be able to raise or treat that kid like its my own! when they're not!
Im 21.. now, and I can tell you, I'd never ever do it... AGAIN that is.
When I was 17 I met a guy who had a kid, we dated, I kind of got used to the idea of the child, we stayed together for A FEW YEARS.. and when we split, and all was said and done, the one thing I miss, IS the kid.. I couldnt go through that again, so as it stands, I will never again date a man with a child.
Dating a man with children would be hard but if he was special enough then yes I would. I love children and have custody of three of my sisters children now...