I feel like I'm independent enough not to need a boyfriend, but I remember being asked ad nauseum by extended family members when they were finally going to meet my (non-existent) gentleman caller. When I'd say I didn't have one, they'd ask why not.
So I mentally compiled retorts.
- Why are you ugly? (okay, maybe that one was harsh)
- I'm too busy
- Because nobody understands my arcane references to cartoons
- If I were with anyone, our awesomeness would be so immense that the world might just blow up.
- Must be that third arm growing out of my skull. I should have that looked at.
- I like tuhtles!!!!!
You get the idea. I did some Googling and found some pretty good tips on how to respond.
Here's what
Mahogany Butterfly advised:
"1. Do not attempt to oversell yourself. Confidence is attractive. Arrogance is not. Saying something like 'Men can't handle a woman that is this successful and beautiful' shows that you lack humility and may even have delusions of grandeur.
2. Do not put yourself down. On the other end of the spectrum, lack of confidence is the ultimate turn off. We women are notorious for selling ourselves short. Though cocky is not a good look, telling your potential mate that you have a tendency to nag or you need to lose that last 10 pounds before you're ready to love is a no-go.
3. Do not rant about past relationships. It just indicates that you are not over your previous loves. Even worse, it may indicate that you are a bitter soul."
What the site advises you to do:
"1. Ambiguous is the way to go here. This man does not need to know your entire life story. A simple 'I guess the timing just hasn't been right.' will suffice.
2. If you are adept at engaging in witty banter this is the time to say something clever that will divert the conversation. Beware, those of you that are terrible at clever conversation, do not attempt this. If done incorrectly it will only be apparent that you do not want to answer a question.
3. You can always be honest. But keep it terse. If you were unhappy in that last relationship, say that. If work was your priority and you are just now seeking a relationship, say that. But just that. Details are not necessary at this point. If he prods you for details (see 2 or 3) or politely assure him that your goal at this moment is to get to know him."
What would you say if someone asked you why YOU were single?
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Comments (50)
"because we're in a recession, i need to save money for Chipotle, since you don't come with extra sour cream!"
I love that Big! I think I would say...I keep meeting the wrong ones! I'm sick of responding to that question...I'm 32, never been married, don't have any kids, and why do I feel guilty?
"Why is Bruce Wayne single?"
Could you give an example of your "arcane references to cartoons"?
TheBigShowAtUD- AHAHAH! and guac too D:
I usually just smile and and give whoever asked a "who knows?" face.
@methodElevated@xanga - if anyone started singing the "oh wolfy" song with me from swing shift cinderella, i would probably marry him right away. bonus points if they know where moosylvania is and who owns it
@sexyeyes77 - you probably say "no" a lot, huh?
@DzK - yeah, guac would be serious business. you're talking about Ms. RIGHT!
"that's what your mom asked me in bed last night"
I'm a medical student-with my crazy schedule I'm lucky enough to MEET a girl who isn't in professional school, let alone date a girl.
@DzK - LOL I do the same thing every time I'm asked that question. XD
"why is it your business?"
I'd say, "I'm single because my intuition will tell me when it's time to change that. It hasn't spoken yet." ;]
I'm glad no one asks me that question. I'd probably ask, "Why does it matter?"
I just say "I'm focusing more on things like school and getting ahead in life" or "I'm not looking right now". Simple. Another good response would be "Well, I'm letting fate handle my hunt."
I don't get asked this question either. Hypothetically though, if I wanted to deter a guy from pursuing me, I'd probably say, "I'm not" and leave it at that.
I'm picky and won't date just anyone.
I haven't found magic..
"I'm not looking to just date anyone. I'm waiting for a relationship with someone really special. What about you?"
That's me on a good day. Otherwise, I just do the cute smile and the "who knows?" face, too.
"I'm a chemical engineering major."
The rest is all implied. :P
But right now I can just say "I'm not!" :)
Getting this question form acquaintances annoys me more than from a friend or family member because the friend/family member likely already knows why but the acquintance is just being nosy.
@TheBigShowAtUD@xanga - LOL Thats an awesome and believable answer.@sexyeyes77 - If nobody ever asked you wouldn't feel guilty. People need to stop and ask themselves why they care about whether or not you're dating.
All I'd say is, "Just hasn't happened."
I've been asked that before. It actually started with me at a young age. I'm glad I'm not single, I don't get asked this stupid question. >_<
I'm saving myself for someone special, preferrably rich and in poor health.
"Does it look like I care about what you have to say/ask?"
I would probably just walk away, anyway.
@turtletastic - haha, i was gonna say the same thing! "i'm an engineer.. 'nuff said." lol
but frankly, i probably don't have all my ducks in a row so it's probably not good to chase after anyone without first addressing financial stability, etc. besides, good friends are amazing and having them around i can say that i'm pretty satisfied for the time being. srsly though, other ppl can just mind their own beeswax~ hahaha
because i'm not yet ready to get married