Thursday, 14 May 2009
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"You Know You Can Just Call Me Your BF, Baby..."
I remember back in high school when relationships always had to be official. It began when some guy you were acquainted with began to crush on you. He then brought himself to ask you out on a couple of dates to try to charm you. If he's successful, you begin to develop feelings for him as well and then he pops the question, "Will you be my girlfriend?"
You pretend to think for a moment, pretending to be surprised even when you were secretly waiting for him to ask. Like a little girl you scream "yes" and then it's official, you have a boyfriend.
I was on the phone with this guy I've been dating for a year now. We never made our titles official, but tonight on the phone, we magically became BF and GF. I was telling him about my day and how I was talking to a girl who was dating a guy that had the same name and ethnicity as him. He then asked what I mentioned about him and I told him that I just told her I was also seeing a guy with the same name and ethnicity. He said, "You know you can just call me your BF, baby." For a moment I was surprised and caught off guard so I just didn't know what to say. We're BF and GF? Where was I when this happened?!
So I ask you all, does the BF and GF status just happen? Or does one need to pop the question and make it official?
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- From: Lawkid
- About Me: "We live and learn that even love is not free."
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Comments (104)
Pop!! and make it official! weee! congrats btw. :)
i sorta prefer to be asked. it saves me from having to bring up the awkward conversation "where is this going blah blah," plus its weird introducing to friends/family ... like oh yeah we've been sorta "hanging out" for several months, but its just some guy. idk for me that's weird. my ex bf was really pussy-footing it introducing me as equal to his other friends still after 3 months, then he broke up with me ... so.
idk. i think it shows confidence and strength of character when they have the nerve to ask you right away. like my current bf; we had our first kiss....then a date after i had to go back to school for 3 weeks, and at the end of that night he sort of just asked me. (although maybe thats diff too cause we'd been friends for 5 years prior?)
When I first started seeing my boyfriend, he said in the car rather casually "I've never had a girlfriend who drove before." I tried to play it cool and said, "Oh. So does that mean I'm your girlfriend?"
Apparently it did! Hah. He didn't ask but it was a sweet sentiment all the same.
Sometimes it's better to pop it out of nowhere instead of formally asking for the status... It just makes the situation better...
congrats btw~
oh ALSO my roommate was with this guy for like 8 months, lost V-card to him and everything, and i overheard him bragging to his friends like, "oh yeah she thinks we're in a relationship, but i never really made it official"
......d-bag.
i mean. it just needs to be addressed by SOMEONE.
It sort of just happens, I notice. Both parties just sort of assume it. And then eventually, the guy usually, will pop up and say something about you being his girlfriend and that makes it official, I guess.
I never considered anyone my boyfriend though, even if we were acting boyfriend/girlfriend until it was made official in one way or another.
That's really cute the way it happened for you. It wasn't some big formal deal like he was proposing or something like "Will you be my girlfriend, dearie?" "I will!"
thats a cute way for it to happen : ) congrats. and, i believe it sort of just...falls into place. it doesnt matter if its a day after dating or in your case a year!
Similar thing happened to me right out of highschool. i was seeing this guy who was 23 at the time, it lasted for 8 mos and then it fell apart. well a couple of years later i befriended his brother's gf and she was telling me that he was calling me his ex. i was so baffled because i never knew, i always hoped, and by the way it ended i told her, i was never his gf, because he never asked me. oh what a young mind. lol
i think the older we get, the harder it is to know when a relationship is established, i think it happens when you two decide upon yourselves to be exclusive. but it's different for everyone.
congrats to you!
When my status with my current boyfriend changed from "friends, not been on dates" to "boyfriend/girlfriend, dating" it was all at once. He asked me, "Do you want to go out with me?", a typical question that implied to me that he wanted to be dating me exclusively, and that we would be bf/gf. I said yes, and all those things were confirmed at once. I ended up checking with him a couple days later that all of those things were true, because I had a couple of friends who disagreed with how I interpreted the situation. He confirmed, so now we've been dating for over a year. That whole time, from even before we had an actual first date, we've been boyfriend and girlfriend.
I think the most important thing is to have acknowledgment from both of you as to where you are in your relationship. Don't be afraid to ask, because it's important to know what level of commitment they are putting into the relationship.
I like to be asked..just for anniversary dates sake
well I usually associate boyfriend with being exclusive and if we start just dating we'll usually later discuss being exclusive *shrug*
I think asking if it's alright needs to happen. Some kind of discussion at least.
My boyfriend and I were hanging out for a little while before we were official I suppose. We were just sitting there one day and he was like "by the way, you're my girlfriend now" or something similar to that. And I was like "okay, whatever."
I prefer to be asked. I was dating my current guy for 2 weeks (we have been speaking online for a month prior) and I had a dream that he gave me an engagement ring. Being utterly brave, I told him about this dream only the 2 weeks after dating. That's when he asked me if we could be exclusive. After 14 months together - I'm still waiting for my fuc'ing ring :)
I'm in a situation right now were there is no "official title" for what we are. And I really don't care. I like being friends and hanging out and doing what we're doing. If sooner or later he decides that's it's cool to put a "label" on it then we can. But in the mean time it's cool the way it is.
I think now a days kids are too concentrated on putting a label on things. Like being able to call them your boyfriend or girlfriend is more important than actually being with them.
i think putting a title sometimes makes the magic go away. i know many people who like to get straight to the point and define themselves, relationship-wise...why do we feel the need to do that?
Sweet ...
lol that is so true! i was on the phone with the guy i was seeing for a couple of months and i was saying something about " will you still be my friend if i lose my arm" ( i dont remember why) he then responded with" i'm not your friend " and i was like what youre not? he said I'm your boyfriend
so i was like oh okay. lol but thinking really ? you are ? since when? but i guess that was just me being immature i like this big girl approach haha
I think it can be cute.Â
My boyf and I, we spent the entire day with a carload of people (seriously, from like four in the afternoon to almost eleven at night) trying to find one of our suicidal friends/my ex, who had wandered off after posting a goodbye blog on the space. I twisted my ankle running down a hill because I thought I saw him, and we ended up passing the guy without noticing...anyway, long story short, I had to go home to get there in time for curfew just after the police had come to take my ex to a stress center, and on the car ride back, my then-crush was like, "So...i guess this would be a bad time to ask you out."
:P
xD
Pop the question and make it official. Less confusion.
:e)
He did pop that question and in the past, the day he asks that question would be the official anniversary date. But this time, we decided that since we weren't dating anyone on the day we first went out, it would just be better to celebrate our anniversary on the day he first asked me out.
A friend of mine has said over and over, "It's not official until it's on facebook." Immature college classification system, but still fun, and a little bit true.
@zubes5806@xanga - i used to think this too. but then i realized - if just putting a title on it takes the magic away - its not very powerful magic then, is it?
@MilkyWhitesezMoo@xanga - i agree. i just don't think we should feel forced to define ourselves.