Tuesday, 12 May 2009
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The Timing Was All Wrong In Our Relationship
Breaking up is quite possibly one of the most difficult things that you will have to do before you really find "the one". I was certain that I had found him. I was in a long distance relationship with someone for over 2 years and recently we decided to let one another go. The difficult part about having a relationship during your college years is that there are several factors that can cause your relationship to become weaker - especially if both of you go to separate colleges. Essentially, you are both living two completely different lives, but making an attempt to somehow squeeze room for one another whenever possible. For a long time, everything went perfectly, with some minor bumps in between. But they were nothing we couldn' t get through together. This year, however, was another story. Communication decreased as our academic lives became more and more time consuming. Although we would talk about it and try to work it out together, we found ourselves back in the same situation a week later.
Part of me began to wonder, is the timing not right for us? And soon enough my question was answered, although it was not the answer I wanted. Our situation reminded me of an article that I found a couple months ago, entitled "The One That Got Away".
Here are the second and third paragraphs of his article.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little nice ties of giddy romance.
I can honestly say that I believed we would stand the test of time, but life can teach you lessons when you least expect it. We haven't spoken since the breakup, but I think for the meantime it'll give us a chance to clear our minds and put everything into perspective. As for seeing one another, I would like to still hang out with him during the summer break, but on a strictly platonic level. I have no interest in becoming FWB or f*** buddies or anything of the sort. I value his friendship and I would like to keep him in my life in any way I can.
Have you been in a situation where the timing was horrible and the relationship couldn't be saved?
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Comments (17)
YES! I date him for 4 years. I still feel like its "meant to be" we've been broken up for 3 years and we're still close and we spent a year with out talking. I justfeel like we need our one last chance...idk.
Owh my...i am also in a long distance relationship and now i just wish that we can have some Magic to Making Up! so we can be together forever.
I never have dates until i finish my degree. I always thought that I will know i'd met my true love! when meet the one.
I just want to marry the one who will loves me for the way I am and the true love!who will cherish me.
yea being in a relationship while in college sucks sometimes. Even if my bf and I only live about 10 minutes from each other, our workload prevents us from having quality time together. It has a huge impact on it.
My cousin is going throught he same thing too...the only thing is that i feel like he wanted to dispose and reclaim her depending on the time of the school year he's in...which hurts her a lot. now she found someone new and he's hinting that he's missing her...oh well he didnt take good care of her-its his lost
I met a guy who I thought was perfect for me (and sometimes I still think that). The timing was terrible--he had a girlfriend and I was going to Japan in a few months. We never really dated, but for that short time, being able to spend time with him felt absolutely perfect.
Then as we were starting to have issues in the "Where are we going with this?" department, he was having talks with his ex (I had to force him to disclose that information) and eventually got back together with her. (I claim that I was a rebound, but he denies this.) Months later I left the U.S. to study here in Japan. He still tries to talk to me once in a while, and says he really considers me to be a good friend, but I really don't care to have anything to do with him. If the timing had been better, we would probably be together right now. But I have no regrets. I can probably find someone better one day.
hmm i see where you're coming from... my boyfriend is in college and so we're doing the whole long distance thing. Now we're getting married and so of course my college experience isn't going to be exactly what I thought it would.
I sometimes wish I had met him later on in life, so I could have experienced new people and things in college, and so we hadn't had to do the whole long distance thing... but even though the timing wasn't great, it wasn't worth it to me to lose him just because it was a bad time.I'm in that situation now. It's hard to try to commit to a serious relationship when you know there are time constraints and other petty factors that have nothing to do with your actual relationship (distance, school, work).
Haha... yeah. I leave for college in three months, and I just started getting involved with a guy not-quite-two years younger than me. I think we're still gonna give it a shot over the summer but... talk about bad timing.
Yes. I was in a similar situation. I just finished my freshman year at college but in the fall I met this wonderful boy at school. He lived in my dorm and we started hooking up in november. Our hometowns are right next to each other, and our houses are literally 8 minutes down one road. We were pretty much inseparable all of november and until winter break. We hung out at least 4 or 5 times a week over winter break, and it seemed perfect.
Now- the bad timing. He was transfering to a college 200 miles away. We both knew that we shouldnt have started something but we liked each other a lot.
When he left at the end of January, we decided to give it a shot and still be together. It lasted 2 weeks before he broke it off with me saying the distance was too hard. I was devestated because I truly believed (and still sorta believe that I loved him). If he didn't transfer, I believe that there is a 99.99% chance that we'd still be together. But he says I was the only thing keeping him at that school.
I understand that he was in a whole new environment with new people, but we could have saw each other at least once a month & the summer would have been amazing.
my current boyfriend and i have been together for 8 months, but we already have a planned break-up as he's leaving for the navy soon.
i love him and it feels so unfair that we'll never get a chance to see how far we can take our relationship. it's like we have no control over this situation... if he wasn't leaving for six years then we would stay together.
timing is everything... :/
I totally understand what you mean. I just broke up with someone and it was totally because of the wrong timing in life. Even though the situation is a little different. Break ups are really hard.
As one the other commentors said, I may be getting in a relationship with a younger guy, although I also leave for college in three months. We are hoping to give it a shot, but crappy timing is so frustrating to me too.
Oh yeah, almost all of my relationships were timing issues and thank God for it!! Things happen for a reason.
In that long distance relationship as we speak...I'm hoping we can work and make time for each other but I'm definitely feeling the lack of communication w/ finals and everything...*sighs*
i guess only time will tell...
I dated my BF for two years (2005-2007) before long-distance/college broke us up. We even moved on and dated other people, but somehow we ended up back together.
Good luck with your situation! :]
Yes I am currently in one of those messy situations. Only it involves two beautiful amazing men. One who is leaving for school as I finally return a graduate and another who is ready to marry me and settle down with me even though I'm more confused than ever. I'm getting myself deeper and deeper into trouble and I can't help it. I'm addicted. It's so fucking unfair how these things happen and maybe we'll never know why. If you do figure out an answer or good reason please do let me know.
I completely agree with the excerpt. Timing plays such a big role. Most people underestimate it. You can have chemistry with so many people, but only a few will be the right person at the right place at the right time.