Tuesday, 12 May 2009
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My BF Has Sleepovers with His Female Best Friend...
I'm like all girls, I DO get jealous occasionally if I see a girl flirting with my boyfriend or something of the sort. Don't get me wrong, I trust him and I know he would never cheat or creep around. He would tell me.His best friend is a girl. They tried dating before and it didn't work out, so they chose to remain best friends. This didn't really bother me at first, I thought "Oh, if I get to know her, it should work out and we can be good friends too". But that wasn't the case.
The thing that bothers me the most is that they have sleepovers. Almost every weekend. They have done it throughout high school, so they don't see it as a big deal. They don't sleep on the same bed or anything, but still. I told him it bothered me, and he said he could see why it bothered me, and said it sickened him to think of her as more than a friend - he didn't know how else to reassure me that they would never be like that.
But is this sleeping over thing not a little weird? Is it normal for me to feel frustrated and even angry when I know they're doing this? I trust him, but I think it's the idea of him sleeping over at a girl's house that bothers me, regardless of what type of friends they are.
Does your boyfriend/girlfriend have a best friend of the opposite sex? How does this affect your relationship?
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- From: sweeetest
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Comments (212)
I'd bet he has cheated. That's beyond weird.
I'm sorry, but this is absolutely rediculous. I wouldn't be able to handle it and you should re-express your feelings to him and hope that he can be more understanding. I mean, how would he feel if you're over at your best guy friend's house staying the night?
awkward...
if you guys are still in high school, it's not that weird. every weekend, though... x_x
I've slept over at my guy friend's place many times while he had a girlfriend and nothing ever happened. Even though I had a crush on the guy, I respected the fact that he had a girlfriend and never tried anything and he never tried anything with me either.
I did think it was weird though. If I was his girlfriend, I would have definitely been jealous.
that would definetly bother me,.
uhm... i would not trust that.
how deep was their relationship before?
if they've had sex... then he's definitely cheated.
sorry :[
I crash over at my best guy friends houses. And they stay over at my house all the time. Any boyfriend that's had a problem with it I've told to suck it up. He either trusts me or he doesn't. He either wants to be with me or he doesn't. My guy friends say the same to their S.O.s. It's not that big of a deal. ♥
@EarthsAzureLight@xanga - Yeh, I was thinking that too.
I'd be creeped out & a little suspicious. Confront him again, you're his girlfriend & I think this is where you kinda draw the line. You're not really being controlling because wtf... who wants their boyfriend sleeping over at his female best friend's house? Who knows what they're really doing there.
depends how long they've known each other. I have male friends whom I've known since we were 13. The thought of trying anything with them is, frankly, gross. I would totally sleepover at their place and be able to guarantee that nothing would happen, but I think I may have a hard time convincing my boyfriend of that!!
There is definately a problem if he is not going to stop after how uncomfortable its made you. He should invite you to go too. Honestly, I hope you dont need me to say this, but even if he hasnt done anything with her - there is a problem. She is priority over you.
they don't even sleep in the same bed! i would not be bothered, but that is probably because i am willing to trust.
@petitenoirtenue@xanga - how many of those guy friends have you dated though?
I have sleep overs with my best friend who happens to be a male. He's even engaged ... When she started finding things a bit weird we invited her to join us on the activities. Turns out we had a blast.
You should plan a little sleep over for the three of you. Play games, watch movies, etc. It'll be a great way for you to get to know each other.
Maybe even have a sleep over or a girls night out with just you and his friend.
@wolvenchic@xanga - Two.
that wouldnt happen if he were my guy..you trust him but do you trust her?
@petitenoirtenue@xanga - wow, was just curious, Im not trying to attack you or anything, but you dont find it disrespectful at all?
i would dump the chump. my man can't sleep without me for his reasons. he wouldn't want to sleep with anyone else :)
its time for him to grow up. men and women dont have sleep overs like that especially if they are with someone.
Well I actually have all male friends and no female friends and my boyfriend is comfortable with it. He knows I would never cross the line and do anything, but he has told me that it's still that "what if" which is what you probably think.
WTF? Is this a Dawson's Creek rerun?! I think your bf and his bff should respect the new boundary since you're in the picture now as the gf. They need to learn how to respect other people.
i uzed to hav sleep overz with my best grrrlfrend & her boyfrend newwa bout it & it wuz totally cool evin with my parentz & her parentz but then imma BIG homosexual so of korse i so wuznt gunna go ther with her ryte but jeez iz yer bf gay or wut & if hez str8 whyz he sleepin over to her playse SO offin sumthin smellz fishy heerÂ
I'm sorry... best friend or not, if I'm sleeping over a woman's house and she's hot... sex is on the brain. Whether or not something happens is sometimes just a matter of time. I mean, it would be different if he said she was "like a sister to me" and the relationship was with her entire family and not just her. But even then... every weekend? That sounds like a standing appointment. How bout you drop by one weekend during the "sleepover" and see what's going on?
eh. i've had sleepovers while being in a relationship before. It was great; problem with most ppl nowadays is, no one believes in the term "Platonic" anymore.
Maybe b/c everyone's concerned pretty much solely on what they want. *shrugs* I doubt its every weekend, one. Sounds like an exaggeration. Plus, it sounds like you don't like her. She'd have no reason to like you, considering you're supposedly dating her best friend, right? We're a bit possessive, yes?
My boyfriend has two best friends who are girls. One (D) had a crush on him and the other (C) was his crush. He actually had sex with C before we met...the reason why they didn't develop into anything more was because she had to leave the states for an extended period of time, and he met me during that time. Anyway I got to know D really well, and am totally comfortable with the two of them sleeping on the same bad (they did that a few times before and I was cool)...I was also totally comfortable with the three of them sleeping on the same bed....I respect that he was best friends with them before I came into the picture and I didn't want him to feel like he can't have a fun time with his best friends--that is, as long as he knows the boundaries.
But then one time he decided (last min) he would visit C and stay with her for the night (and I was even in the same city), just the two of them. I lost sleep that night. I later talked to him about it and he agreed that he was being inconsiderate. He assured me that they didn't do anything...but I was extremely uneasy. I guess it's because I never met the girl before...if I did, maybe it would have been different...
So..idk. It is a tough situation...
I wouldn't like that at all...I probably wouldn't get into a relationship with a guy who is *that* close to one of his girl friends just because it would bother me that bad and it'd probably cause problems if he wouldn't stop doing it. If that's his thing, then okay but I wouldn't stick around to deal with it..