Miss ReindeerI got a phone call the other day from B. Our date was well over a week ago and now he decides to call. There's a warning right there if I've ever heard one. First of all, I think our date actually went pretty well, so I was expecting a call within 3 days, as that seems to be the unspoken rule. When that call never came, I wrote him off as a jerk. Onward and upward, you know?
I let the call go to voicemail to see what he had to say for himself. It was something like, "Hey, it's B. Just calling to see if you’d be up for hanging out again. Maybe just something chill like a movie at my place. Give me a call." What happened to the man with a plan? When he called me to ask me out the first time he was all about the plan. "I know this great place, ______, we can go for drinks on Thursday at 8. How does that sound?" This "movie at my place" B.S. reeks of booty call, don't you think?
The more I think about it, the more I think he's an arrogant prick.
You don't take a nice girl out on the town, get visibly irritated when she doesn't accept your invitation to go upstairs after the date, don't call for her over a week and then leave her some half-assed voicemail to "hang" sometime. Ugh, NEXT!
I'm just SO over guys that do not know how to date. Everyone thinks they're entitled to get some ass just because they buy you a drink nowadays. Guys don't want to "date" - they want to just "hang out". Is courtship a dying ritual? Do you think I'm being too hard on B? Am I just expecting too much from the opposite sex?
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Comments (83)
I agree with you.
"Ugh, NEXT!"
If that's expecting too much, then I'm in the same boat. Courtship, for some men, is going the way of the horse and buggy, but that doesn't mean we are obligated to deal with that kind of male stupidity.
I agree with you!
I agree with you...that's been happening to me so much in the past few months that it's absurd, and it's just wrong...I'd much rather that a guy state his intentions clearly from the beginning, whatever they are.
No! The guy sounds like a jerk.
You were right to write him off as one!
Haha. Agreed. I don't want to do something because I feel oblige to, I'll do it simply because I want.
jerk!
no way dude, feel you on that. why bother if he's clearly not?
One of the reasons why women like you won't survive in the "modern" dating scene is because you treat sex like a gift that you bestow upon worthy males. Courtship, as you like to call it, isn't a job interview where each potential contender must jump through arbitrary hoops in hopes of getting to your vagina. This guy sounds like he's open to different possibilities while you seem to be limiting yourself to something more... husband-esque.
My advice is, don't bother with this guy - but not because he's a "jerk" for wanting sex from you. Rather, don't bother with him for the same reason he shouldn't bother with you: you guys ain't looking for the same thing and that difference doesn't put you on a moral high ground.
You might be expecting too much from the opposite sex. XD
No. I think I'd feel the same as you. Forget him. ^_~
Oh man, I know a few of those.
Get someone else. You deserve someone way better.
Btw, not all guys are the "hang-out" type. I'm a pro-dating type.
I bet he was just reading up on the FWB posts.
The guy sounds like a total jerk! Don't talk to him anymore cause I'm pretty sure with him, it doesn't get any better than this!
It's Operation Lower the Bar. We have conspired to kill courtship completely to lessen the workload for our fellow men. Soon, men that take you out on fancy dates will be extinct and you can only hope to be invited up to watch a movie, which will be considered chivalrous. The lesser men would just skip the movie completely. We will win this war, so may as well roll with it.
ohh..u r nt expecting too much but i gues guys are just slow..they take time to get to behave the way you think they should..if u really like B, you should give hima chance..otherwise..UGH!! NEXT!! heheh
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While I sympathize with you feeling affronted for him basically wanting sex, I think you're treating this as far too much of a game.
Maybe he does, actually, want to watch a movie with you at his place? Maybe he was butthurt from your refusing him sex before and this is him finally getting over his ego and trying again?
Basically, why should he be forced to take the initiative and have the plan twice in a row?
Just a little devil's advocate here.
That's really why I don't like the dating scene. The getting to know the person while trying to decide if they are trustworthy, compatible, and fun enough to be around is too inconsistent for me. I like to know the person well enough so I know what they are like. I like to hang out too, they should be damn near close to your best friend, and friends are there to hang out with.
If you were my sister I'd go punch his lights out.
All he did was... ask? Labeling him a prick seems a bit unfair. Some women might want to watch 15 min. of a DVD movie. In the end, you didn't get what you wanted, he didn't get what he wanted. Maybe just leave it at that?
you gals are harsh. while i do think it was in poor taste to wait so long to call, there's nothing wrong with "hanging out." perhaps my experience is just different, but a movie at someone's place does not mean they're trying to get in your pants. sheesh.
@husbandofawife@xanga - i agree. violence is generally the best way to solve problems that are based on assumptions.
I think you're being a little bit hard on him. Rather than assuming he's a jerk based on such little information, give it another shot. Maybe he was never taught about proper courtship, since it seems to me that a lot of people don't do such things anymore. So he "messed up" by not calling you within 3 days. Perhaps it's because he didn't know? If you're curious, call him back and ask what's up. Guys can be pretty oblivious about these things.
Maybe you should have picked up the phone so you could talked to him.
I wouldn't call him a jerk, but you sound a little hurt.
next!