Sunday, 10 May 2009
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She Didn't Flinch When We Split The Check
Scenario: Guy and girl are out. The check comes...so here's the question:
Should a guy always pay for everything if a female is present? Even if they are only friends?
Personally, I always pay. I'm happy to do it.. If she opens her purse I feel like I've done something terrible...something that will warrant a negative hit to my character for all time.
A few weeks ago, a friend from my competitive gaming days arrived on the east coast. We have never met, but we've been talking on and off for years.Situation:
We sat down for lunch. The check came, and for the first time, EVER, I decided to split the bill. I wanted to see what it would feel like. I wanted to see how she would react, even with a significant other back in Cali.
I felt odd. I felt cheap. I felt like I had just broken someones very expensive vase and denied having anything to do with it.
She didn't say anything to make me feel guilty. She didn't even pause in her conversation, so I'm led to believe it didn't matter to her, or she was just really good at masking her body language.
That's where you come in, oh beautiful and wonderful women of Xanga.
Am I batshit insane? at least more then I already am? Am I making too big a deal out of nothing?
Or
Am I forever branded in her head as that cheap yet devilishly attractive guy? Would you be offended in the above situation?
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Comments (109)
hmmm its just spilting the check lol!Â
lol you're just friends? it really shouldnt matter THAT much. lol but i think its cool you're usually so chivalric about it
splitting the check doesn't matter at all, love. you're just being a gentleman, though, so i don't really blame you for being a bit batshit insane :D
usually..if a guy & a girl is talking. the person who ask should be the person who pays.
but if ya'll are just friends then it's not a problem to dutch.
i don't like other ppl paying for me even if it's a date. so i always pay for my own stuff & they can pay for theirs.
but in most cases, the guy who asks the girl out usually pays.
If it's not a date splitting the check is totally fine. Hell, even if it's a date sometimes it's okay to go dutch (I think this should be done when the woman does the asking, actually). If the guy asks for the date, then he should pay. I'd feel weird if one of my guy friends paid for my food randomly.
Not a big deal. Now if you were dating, it might be different, but still okay sometimes. We all have money issues. It's forgivable now and then, even among significant others.
But one thing that always pissed me off about my ex: Never, ever go out to lunch with a GIRLFRIEND and EXPECT the girl to pay. ALL OF IT. Not just a split.That's just cheap.
You are insane.
I never (almost never) let my just friends who are guys pay for me.
I never really thought of it as a friend thing to do (the just friend guy to pick up the check). I feel like that's more of a "we're dating" kind of thing. My roommate and I have actually discussed this very topic and we both came to the same conclusion. The guy should not pay for us unless we are dating. I don't think all girls think this though. It's just how we feel. Occasionally I'll let my REALLY GOOD (i.e. we've been friends for a long time) guy friends pay for me if they really insist on doing so (hey, I've probably picked up a tab or two for them in the past).
Anyway, generally if it's just friends, not a big deal to "split the check".
If your just friends, I would think it weird of her to let you pay! Even if you were going out, at some point SOs eventually alternating the bill between the two. So scince your just friends, Im sure that you are more than ok...and put her guy back in cali at a little more ease.
you are so weird. i get offended when someone offers to pay for me (unless they're way older) because that implies that i can't afford my own sustenance. i only let my boyfriend pay for me on special occasions.
I think you're thinking too much about it. Was this a date? She had an SO back in Cali, so probably not. And splitting the bill between FRIENDS is usually accepted unless you're a rich millionaire and you can feed half of Africa.
it's not that big of a deal to split the check.
the guys don't need to pay for everything foreverr!
I'd say if you're just friend it's fine to split the bill also it might have been a little awkward for her if you hadn't as she has an SO back in cali and you usually only let the guy pay if it's a date or something of that nature, in my opinion
P.s.: What's the point of being anonymous if you put a picture up?
She`s only a friend, right?
I always insist on splitting. I don`t want to feel like I owe someone something.
Buuuut.. if it happened to be a first date or something, I might let him pay, but I would still offer to split.
Lol, you think too much about that. Honestly, I like being fair, so it makes me a lot more comfortable to split a check. I even told my bf that, and he was a bit uncomfortable at first. I told him we're both working students, so I don't want him to pay all the time. So we agreed to treat each other (one time him, the other time me).
I feel uncomfortable not paying my way...
Just a friend. Splitting is no big deal. Now if it were a date. Yea, I'd forever brand you cheap.
" cheap yet devilishly attractive guy"
lol
Honestly, as a girl, I would feel more uncomfortable being paid for than splitting the check. My opinion is that women who feel that they deserve to be paid for are way too high maintenance. If you like paying all the time, then more power to you. However, don't end up in a relationship with a girl who won't pull her weight. If she's unwilling to pay for her own food, it's likely that she will be unwilling to try to work out any problems you may come across.
not a big deal.
Maybe this is just a cultural thing, but the way I was brought up was the person who invited the other person pays unless it is a group thing, and then the bill is split.
If you go out a lot, then the bill is always split or the two take turns.
I don't think you should worry about it. It wasn't a date or anything. You guys are just friends.
it's no problem with that, and i don't think she's hiding her body language or anything. splitting the check is a good thing sometimes with girls. i think girls do feel bad sometimes that guys are always expected to pay because it's gentlemen etiquette. at least that's what i think.
Definitely not a big deal at all.
If it's not a date, and neither of you are romantic... Then I see nothing wrong with it. I think it's awful nice of you, but I'm almost 100% sure she's not offended. I mean, unless you're her boyfriend, I don't see it as a big deal... And even then, no big deal.