Sunday, 10 May 2009
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Falling for an Older Guy
I was one of those girls who looked down on relationships between younger girls and older guys, especially when the girl is in high school and the guy is in college or past college. It never occurred to me that it might happen to me, but sure enough, it did. It's so bizarre, I can't wrap my head around it. I've never liked anyone so much older before and he's never liked anyone so much younger. I'm 17. He's 25. An 8-year difference. Aside from the major age gap, we have basically everything in common, from the same obscure Chinese dialect to what school subject we enjoy most and even our personality types (blunt and honest).
We're approaching this carefully since I am underage and I'm going to college in the fall (8 hours away from where we both live now). But no matter what we do, there's always a lingering feeling that this is wrong. Am I being too insecure? Is the age gap too big?
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Comments (142)
age is just a number!
it doesnt matter. if u both are falling for each other then give it a shot!
u might be feeling insecure because this is new to you.
the only thing you can do is try it. if it doesnt work out then you both can still be friends
My aunt and uncle are far apart in age. It's weird when you think that he graduated high school when she was in third grade. But they're happy together and have two children with each other.
all that matters is how you two feel for each other.
My wife is 13 years younger than me, and we do great. If it feels right (aside from the age thing), go for it.
ive been where you are. im 17. i met this guy when i was 16 but about to turn 17. he is 11 years older than me.
long story short he is my best friends cousin and he came to live with them because he had to leave the airforce. so he was gonna live there while he went to college. we met and at first were just friends. then it escalated.
he said to keep it from my friend cause her family would kick him out because they are religious and against big age differences.
somehow my friend found out and he LIED to her and her family and basically said i was crazy and that nothing ever happened. so my friend believed him and practically disowned me.
my advice to you is just BE CAREFUL. we always see so much potential in older guys cause they have so much already but if he ever asks you to keep it from your parents or whomever then drop him. its not worth the pain and sacrifice. it really isnt.
good luck with him though. i hope it works out.
-Alysha
Live life, your young date as many people as you have the opportunity to. Just know that with a large age difference, he might suddenly fall into marriage mode.
I don't think it's too big :)
now, if he's 60+, THEN the gap is definitely too big.
my ex bf was 9 years older than me. sadly, i didn't fall for him. he fell for me. pedophile much? nahh..he was a kid at heart. but he was too much of a mama's boy.Â
i'm 17 & i'm gonna be a freshman in college too. & my goal is to meet guys that are at least 5 years older than me. just because..it's funner that way :]I don't think that's too much of an age gap. If you two have things in common, enjoy one anothers company, and have feelings for each other, why let a number get in the way?
I think you should listen to your heart for now. You two enjoy each other's company, have many things in common, and why let your age difference ruin that? My ex and I were one year apart (him being older), I can't say I know how you feel, because it was just a year, but a lot of people didn't like me dating him. We took a risk though & lasted for two years. You'll never know unless you try, good luck :)
I don't really think it's that bad. Once you're 18 you'll both be adults and can do what yous want. As long as yous get along and like each other, that's all that matters. If he was WAY older, then I think an age gap matters..but this one is not that big of a deal I don't think.
No that's really not that bad. My parents are 8 years apart and my mom started dating my dad when she was quite young too and thing seems to work out great for them. In fact, my mom kept on telling me that I should go for an older guy too (she actually tried to introduce an older guy to me after my boyfriend and I broke up).
If you think you like him, go for it. Age shouldn't be that big a concern unless you're VERY much younger (seriously from the title I thought you were dating a middle-aged man or something).
I dated a guy who was 13 years older than me, and we were pretty good for a while. :) Age is simply a number. If you share some things in common and are okay with it, then give it a shot. :)
Best of luck to you. :)
Don't worry. 25 years old guy is pretty much the same as 18 or even younger!
While age is just a number, I do think it's important that you both be at the same place in your life. He is much older than you and probably has different priorities - or will soon - which could cause issues for you two. I guess the biggest one would be starting a family - I'm guessing you won't be ready until you're at least 25 - 30 at which time he's going to be 33 - 38. If you're both okay with that I don't see a problem. I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend for a couple years and they're 11 years apart.
for me, i do think the gap is a little bit wide for your case...(i'm a hongkonger~)
but...when feelings come, no one can stop it, right??
and my mom & dad are 7 yrs apart...so age is just not a big problem, as long as you commit fully in it =)
I also think that age is just a number... Of course, I am an 18 year old that is crushing hard on a 26 yr. old teacher. Unless this man could get in serious trouble(lose a job etc.), I do not see a problem. I would however wait to get serious until you are 18. The major problem I can see is the physical distance while you are at college, not the age gap. Good luck.
Now and days age isnt nothing but a number to people. if ur happy then why not go for it. Goodluck!!!!!!!!!
if you guys are okay with it, it should be fine. i used to think dating older guys was taboo but i'm with one now. after the initial stage where all i could worry about was the age gap, i barely ever think about it now. my roommate has been with her boyfriend, who is ten years older, for four years! so it can work out =D
That age gap isn't too big. My parents are six years apart.
in my opinion it's ok
besides my mom and stepdad are 11 years apart
my dad and stepmom are 16 years apart
it's really no big deal, especially as you get olderÂ
Age ain't nothin but a number.
My Nom Nom is 5 years older than I am.He'll be 26 next month.
age is just a number. :] go with the feeling.
That happened to my best friend. When she was 17, she dated a 25/26 year old (his birthday took place halfway through their relationship). Their relationship was pretty healthy and normal. People made a big deal about the age difference when it wasn't really that big of a deal. So good luck to you and I wish you all of the best!
1. Your age difference really is not that big of a deal.
2. HOWEVER. Right now, you are 17. Please, please wait until you are at least 18 to head into a relationship together.