Saturday, 09 May 2009
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Breaking Up Because of Lying
I got an IM this morning - it was my friend telling me that he broke up with his girlfriend and he is devastated now. He hates himself and he can't seem to forgive himself because he lied to his girlfriend several times for no particular reason.
This made me think...most everybody lies, but where does the line draws in a relationship?
Everyone has at least lied once in a relationship before; we know that lying is completely wrong. But what if the intentions are good and he/she still lied to you about that would you still get upset and hold a grudge against your boyfriend or girlfriend?
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- From: AznAngel29@xanga
- About Me: If you smoke stay away from me unless ur my janey Unnie and Thai *not trying to be mean* but I don't like smoker~~ love making friends like to sing but just not in front of pple i dnt know to well shopping!!!! hanging out with my friends
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Comments (25)
I don't really like any kind of lie. What's the point of lying for no reason? That's just weird. Even if it hurts, I want truth, baby. TRUTH! :P
little lies lead to big lies. if my ass really looks that big in my new jeans just tell me. LOL jk. but little lies, stupid lies, big littles, strategic lies, etc just don't work. be real every day of the week and minute of the day. yeah.Â
@steph - I agree, i always want the truth, you should be honest with ur SO about things. it's just being loyal and trustworthy. people who lie obviously dont feel comfortable enough to tell the person ..
and ya. =]
everyone has lied at some point in their life. but telling the truth is always the best answer. eventually the truth always finds a way to come out anyway. and relationship wise, if you're being lied to, obviously the person doesn't care about you enough to tell you the truth in the first place and it shows that they aren't being trustworthy. and to me apart from love, trust is the most important part of a relationship.
so yeah tell the truth. :]
One lie you shouldn't make:
Him- real age: 19 +
You- real age: 13, 14, 15 but you say you're 17, 18
Don't be selfish. I know, kids, it's cool to hang out with the big kids and all, and you think you score by dating a guy who's "older" but seriously, that shit can land him in jail. You're a jailbait. Wait until you're legal.
small lies can turn into a big snow ball. so lying even if it's for the sake of not hurting anyone or good intention, is not right.
no one would like to live in a world that's full of white lies, right?
yes i hold the grudge.
Lying is lying.If he/she lies about what they had for breakfast, he/she will lie about where they were last night. (If a person will lie about a small, unimportant thing, they'll lie about the big stuff!) After a person lies to me a time or two, I know they can't be trusted.Plain and simple.
If there was something my boyfriend did, that would make me hold a grudge, then I'd want to know for sure. It's not like my boyfriend can just cheat on me than lie to avoid me holding a grudge against him.. :S
Be honest about everything you can.
lying is lying.
and there's also no difference between lying and not telling.=)
honesty is the key
Why would anyone lie to their SO for no particular reason...? It's like they're asking to be dumped.
When it comes to someone that I truly love, I wouldn't be able to lie, and I would expect the same from him.
depends.
Yeah, Always depends.
Would I like being lied to? No
But maybe they had good reason
Honesty is the key! If you lie, there's always the possibility of it being discovered and then it'll hurt a lot more. It's always best to hear the truth from your boyfriend/girlfriend because then you know you can trust your special partner. A relationship cannot be built on lies. If you lie for no reason or lie about something small, then there's a chance you'd lie about something important. If I don't like being lied to, then I don't like to lie to my boyfriend either.
If you love that person, then there is no reason to lie to him. Even if the truth hurts, telling the truth means the person you love, cares about you enough to be truthful. I believe being honest in a relationship is a sign of his/her faithfulness toward you.
You can't just blame either of them especially when it comes to a relationship. They both probably got issues whether its the one who habitually tells a lie to their gf/bf or the other one being lied to.
open communication is key to a relationship. if this was a lie in which he was betraying his gf (cheating) and he felt to need to break up with her b/c he lied to her, then i think that move is appropriate. but if it is lies that will not destroy the relationship or completely change it, i think the dude should just tell her he lied, he needs to work on it, can she help him stay accountable, and fix the relationship and grow from all that..but if he's not willing to stop lying, then he needs to stay outta any relationship until he gets his stuff together b/c that's not relationship material.
People always have a reason for lying, and it all depends on what that reason is. You can't understand and forgive a person unless you know their reasons.
@CandidshotS and lolquack.
great answer. of course every situation is different and so the answer SHOULD be "it depends on the situation"!
it is extremely naive to think that honesty is the best answer in every single situation.
Ugh, my ex-boyfriend was awful. He lied constantly, and not always about things worth lying about. Now, I know what you're thinking: "If it's not important, who cares?" Well, if someone lies a lot about things that don't matter, how can you trust them to be honest when things do matter? He lied so often (about as often as he told the truth, maybe more) that I never knew what to believe, and it frustrated the hell out of me. It's true that we all lie, but when in a relationship, make it a point to be as honest as possible with your partner. Because if you can't be honest, clearly you don't trust them to handle the truth, and you give them reason not to trust you. And without trust, what's the point?
Lying Is Lying..
But Some People Sugar Coat It Soo Well...
I hate liars. My bf has lied multiple times. I catch him lying, I yell, but we end up working it out. He hasn't lied for a while now. I can't break up with him over lying... however, I will forever remember that he lied to me. The trust is still fragile, but we're doing our best.
When a guy lies about having a girlfriend...I have a problem.
I cannot stand a liar. An innocent lie to make someone feel better (EX: you look amazing in that outfit.) when in fact it makes the person look like a cow is understandable.
However, if it is a lie about where you were the night before or something, that is a serious lie.
Depends on what the deal is.
i think one should always tell the truth when in relationship. just sometimes we can't help because it's just a nature to lie