Friday, 08 May 2009
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Do Feelings of Infatuation Ever Go Away?
In junior high I became friends with a boy in my class, and I fell head over heels for him. I liked this boy so much that every time I saw him or talked to him, I would get butterflies in my stomach and I would blush like crazy. I was never able to tell him myself but a friend of mine blurted it right before graduation. We never talked about it. This was two years ago.Ever since then I haven't been able to like anyone else, and I still can't think about him (or even his name) without getting flustered. I haven't even been able to actually talk to him since that year, and every time I see him I either avoid him or I don't acknowledge his presence. It highly frustrates me that I'm still hung up on this guy.
So here's my question, if you ever had a first love, or at least a guy that you really liked, did the feelings ever go away? And if so, how long did it take?
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Comments (34)
Yup. It takes a while, but for me, it took about a year to get completely over him.
I know that doesn't sound that great, but he rejected me once, got my hopes up, and then rejected me again, in the span of about a year. But, now that all those events are over, I can finally say I don't ever want to be with him, even if given the chance.
I don't think anything every goes away 100%... there will always be memories to try and jump start what it felt like, however the persistence of it will definitely fade with time.
it may or may not. feelings are hard to explain and hard to understand. its just the way you "feel", sometimes without explanations. just like how i love my family... not because they're flesh & blood but because i respect them and care for them and they are important to me.
my feelings for my ex may never go away, however, they will fade. and they will continue to fade. it's going to be like a scale, i would imagine. as my feelings for the (future) SO start to build, it'll outweigh my feelings for people from the past. but that's my opinion :o)
It took a very long time for my feelings for my first "true" love to go away. Granted, we had a very messy entanglement at the time which didn't make things any easier, but they did eventually fade.
It took probably about 3 years for all my feelings to completely dissipate. Now I can talk to him with no feelings of attachment springing up.
It takes time, yes. How much time it does take depends on the person. It took me two years to get over my first love, and when I'm around this one guy that I just click with all my old feelings reappear no matter how long its been. They first started coming about in 9th grade in high school, and I'm now a sophomore in college and I can still feel things about this one guy, but I like those feelings. If you want to get over your feelings for the guy you can, but it may or may not take a while to get over it completely.
so far my feelings for my ex haven't been away....it's been 3 years and everytime i think of him, i still get that refreshing feeling of "butterflies in my stomach"
it takes time, but eventually yes.
i'd had it in my mind that i "loved" this guy, things happened, i got totally hung up. but then other things happened and i HAD to get over him.
took me a while..around 2 years in fact.
and now when i see him .. nothing. no butterflies, no blushing, not even attracted, just nothing.
i don't think it goes away. i mean, everytime i see my first serious crush (hahah i was in love with him back in the day, like elementary school.... now he's senior staff during my p.e. block) i still blush and we both remember that i used to love him. we're good friends and i know that i still have feelings for him in some way but they aren't nearly as strong and i also have feelings for other people.
I've had my first love & we broke up six months ago.. I can't say that I'm completely over him, but I'm sure I will be one day. I don't think you can ever forget your first love, but it does take quite some time to get over it.
I was in love with my neighbor for 7 years, and I, like you, couldn't really talk to him when he found out that I had feelings for him. Later I found out that he liked me too, but he also liked my bestfriend, yeah, gay, and started dating her, while I moved on to bigger and better things. I am COMPLETELY over him, but that's only because nothing really happened between us. I liked him and he liked me, but we didn't date. We hung out occasionally, but I never got emotionally attached. I was sad and probably cried over it a million times.
I always felt SO much better after I cried. That's how I knew I was going to be able to get over him.
However, my last relationship (of a year and a half) ended about 2 months ago. I still cry about that. And what scares me, is that I never feel better even after I cry, that's when you should start worrying.
if we didnt start, then will go very fast...
eventually and depends
oh yeah, it goes, believe me.
i was so into so many, then i see them years later and they are pathetic, and they want to be with me. you realise quickly that you had put them on a pedestal and they are not all you imagined.
i am having this trouble with a couple of guys at the moment. just got to ride it out. a yeah is about right though
although i don't have feelings anymore for my exboyfriend, i still get huge butterflies whenever i see him. i don't know why
Infatuation really does suck. Even though the other person does not feel the same way about you, regardless, you still like that person. Even though there are times they treat you like crap, you can't see past it but still accept what they do because you are so into him.
You are in your own little world where you think something good may come out of it, if you wait long enough. In the end, you end up wasting your time, while he is living his own life.
I actually admit and realize that I've been infatuated with someone. You go through cycles of various emotions- anger, jealousy, sadness, excitement, resentment. Infatuation gets carried away when it starts to control your life and living style. At times, I find myself thinking so much about it but still end up from where I started.
If that person does not see you for you, then move on. It's been 2 years and I'm still trying to get over it. It really is not easy to overcome but as time goes on, you will eventually realize that it's not worth it- hopefully during that process, you will realize that you are better of being independent. There are plenty of other people out there who are willing to accept you for who you are.
Best of luck to those who are currently in this same situation!
It took me a year to get over something that was ten months long. To me, he was more than just a first love, he was my best friend at the time, so things were very awkward at first after our break up. After a year though, it was time I just learned to accept the fact that things would work out if they were meant to, regardless of how I felt. That's when I decided it was time to mend what was left of our friendship...We're not awkward to the extreme anymore, but definitely not as close as before our relationship began as more than just friends.
If anything, you can't tell yourself to feel a certain way, it just has to happen by itself.
its been two years and nope it has not. i am still attracted to him. Its easier when I dont see him and I can tell myself that I am not attracted to him, but then when i see him and hang out with him..it comes back.
I know it will go away eventually, probably when I find that one person.
Yes. It may take a while, but they eventually kill it off after you really get to know them and their ways. Sometimes it takes years, sometimes months, but it happens.
it did for me...and after dating him for an year, eventually it faded away.
Well that all depends... I am 24 now and I remember my first what I now call a crush which was when I was in 5th grade at 10-11 years old. That friendship or acquaintance didn't end well... bad rumors and odd drama but oddly enough I don't feel anything for him but when I do think of him I still get those butterflies as if I was that little girl seeing him all over again. I moved away at the age of 13. Then I fell in love at the age of 17 with guy who knocked me head over heals... my first true love... I don't get butterflies over him because I refuse. He dated for 1 1/2 years straight and then another year on and off ... we completely broke up a month before our 3 year anniversary... and it's been 4 years. He is married now... I think I will always care for him and love him but I am no longer in love with him. I didn't bring out the best out him because I was always crying... we do have a child and we're friends but only time will tell how your heart will feel... and when a new person appears they will come in to change your whole life and perspective. Good luck... it's not an easy road...
As many people above said, the feelings will fade but I don't think it's even possible for it to go away completely. It took me 2 years to be able to face him with a straight face, and another two years to finally be okay to date again. Now...7 years and a wonderful long-term relationship later, He told me him and his girlfriend of 5 years broke up...and all of a sudden some of the old feelings resurfaced. I started wondering about the "what-if's" and "if only's" again...
But my heart is with MY boy now...he's the one who I can't live without.
So even though the feelings do not go away completely, you'll eventually find someone else, and you'd not exchange that guy with your previous love even if given the chance...
First loves are tough. It took me 3-4 years to get over him. I don't think you're strange. I think it hasn't hit you yet. Once you see that he is not the person that you imagine in your fantasies and dreams, you'll get over it.
for me my feelings never went away. we dated for 4 yrs and when i would see him i would still have the butterflies in my stomach, even now where just friends i still have it
6 years until I got over the first guy I liked completely.
5 before I could even think of getting over him.
2 before I found myself annoyed that I spent all my time thinking about this one boy.
Don't worry, it takes awhile, but it'll go away.