Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then proceeded to call out my own name on accident. FMLToday, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FMLToday, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FMLToday, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops, looks directly at me, and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN!" and proceeds to flip me over, grab his clothes, and run out of my room. FMLToday, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FMLbahahah - happy friday.
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Comments (17)
Word. I liked the ice cream man one. That's funny.
Hahaha, I enjoyed these.
good ones. I like the one at the party. Poor guy.
The best train wrecks on the internet.
Ice Cream Vs. Sex.....hmmmm, I'll bet my husband would have ran after that song too!
I would totally run after the ice cream truck!
I love the second, third and fifth xD
black friday.
I was playing Soul Caliber IV with my roommate. There was a jungle-themed level with big dodo-like birds running around. Forgetting the name "dodo," I enthusiastically said, "Hey, look! Dildos!" FML.
that last one... damn...
lol nice @ the last one.Â
I love FML. I showed it to like two of my friends and they showed it to their friends and now our whole school is practically obsessed with it..we're a private Christian school. haha. Thanks for FML Friday, it has made every day increasingly better, knowing that my bad situations really could be worse.
LMFAO =)
LOLOLOL #2!
The first one`s hilarious.
I feel even worse for the girlfriend in the last one.
OMFG these are hilarious!!!!