Wednesday, 06 May 2009
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How Can I Tell My Ex I Want Nothing to Do with Him?
My first boyfriend (who I dated for nearly two years) and I broke up due to many reasons. One of the reasons was that I was going to a new college, and we would be miles away from each other. Another reason was that I just didn't feel the same as I did about him anymore. We still stayed friends, but I knew it wasn't going to work out very well because he wasn't over me at the time. And I was right - we were constantly fighting because of his constant bitterness that kept surfacing in our friendship. We would be friends, then he'd make a bitter remark about my current relationship, I'd get mad at him, we'd ignore each other, then one of us would apologize and we'd go back to being friends again. But because I am so sick and tired of this constant cycle, as if we were still dating (we fought a lot back then too as well), I decided to call it off...numerous times. But for whatever reason, I was not able to have the final closure with him. We got into another fight, and this time, I was determined never to speak to him again.
It wasn't just him that made this constant cycle go around; it was my fault as well. At one point, I thought I still had residual feelings for him and was an emotional wreck. When I found out that he had said "I love you" to his new girlfriend, I was a bit frustrated because I felt that he used the words ever so carelessly.
Two nights ago, I blogged as usual, and he made a comment on my blog. At first I replied back, then I realized that I shouldn't be talking to him, so I deleted his and my comments. Last night, he messaged through Xanga asking why we can't be friends and saying how immature I am for not wanting to talk to him. Feeling that I should defend myself, I replied back that I was sick of having this cycle over and over again for the past eight months and that I would like to just cut all ties with him. He replied back with a long message expressing his frustration. I felt that he was actually trying to aggravate me with his words so I would reply back, but I decided not to reply. I ignored and deleted it.
Then today, he wrote again: "You're being such a fucking immature child, you know that?"
I am at my wits' end. I don't want to talk to him again. I don't want to be friends with him again because of his constant bitter remarks and the cycle that we go through, which reminds me of our past relationship. Personally, I would like to concentrate on the one I have right now with someone else, and with him continually nagging me, I cannot. What else do I have to do to make him understand that I don't want anything to do with him? I told him off so many times - I've pleaded, I've typed angry messages, I've ignored him.
What else is left for me to do?
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- From: SteamyDumpling@xanga
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 836 Comments: 0 48 View all posts by SteamyDumpling@xanga
Comments (48)
Cut every way possible for him to get into your life. Get a new blog if you need to. One he would never find. And move on with your life. Breakups happen for a reason.
Keep ignoring him. He's a big baby.
tell him you want to marry him.
that always gets rid of them.
Maybe you should buy him the sign in the picture above.
Or just block him.
Tell him literally to stay the fuck away from you....
it works wonders. <3
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - totally agree but if he doesn't stop, tell him that you'll call the police on him. it works all the time.
@mewithoutu77@xanga - It may not work just telling him, if he starts getting aggressive she needs to get a restraining order.
just tell him you want nothing to do with him and then block him from your blog/facebook/myspace etc and erase his number from your phone. don't respond to anything he throws at you bc that is a way to get back into your life. set an example of what you want him to do.
@DarkButtercup94@xanga - Yeah, I'm actually thinking of that. Oh boy, the thought of having to do change things...AGAIN. -_-
@HollowTendencies@xanga - Haha, actually, if I say that, he might come even MORE close. >_<
@Karamelqt@xanga - I've already tried that. Thank you though.
@mewithoutu77@xanga - Now there's something I haven't tried. :D
Hopefully he reads this lol.
& Just try everything to cut off all connections with him. Create a new account, stay anonymous. Don't reply to him... and if all else fails, threaten to call the police =D
oh, wow- did we date the same guy?!? haha.
definately been in this position. frustrating. i had to just tell him to leave me (and my friends- he had a tendancy to try and get to me through them if i wouldn't talk to him directly) the hell alone. and then i changed my email and blocked him on my messenger and facebook so he couldn't get ahold of me. and when he called me 30 times a day at the office (sadly, that's not an exaggeration) while i was on my internship, i simply refused to pick up the phone.
i know it's SO tempting to try and have one more conversation, leave one more message, or send one more email explaining for the last time why you want nothing to do with him and defending yourself against the ridiculous claims he's making about your immaturity (or in my case, the bogus assertion that i'd cheated on him), but it won't end things. he's determined to have the last word. let him. and the one after that. if you stick to ignoring him- not responding whether he emails you, leaves comments, calls you, etc.- he'll eventually give up. even if it takes a few months.
oh, yeah- and threaten a restraning order. that did the trick, too. but you have to be prepared to follow through if he doesn't back off.
hey, if nothing else this should give you a great reminder of all the things you don't want in a guy the next time you date someone. it cured me of losers forever.
good luck.
:)
@HollowTendencies@xanga - lol. thats funny
have ur current boyfriend beat the devil outta him. lol. jk
The more you respond to him, the more likely it is that he will continue to harass you. As hard as it is, just ignore him. Block him from your site (one click and he's gone). Block him from your AIM/gchat/whatever other message program you use, etc.
Eventually he'll stop. Or you can take out a restraining order (they're actually pretty easy to get, and cyberstalking is a crime).
He will pester you because he wants a reaction. He wants you to be upset, and he wants you to pay attention to him.
Keep ignoring him.
Ignoring him, deleting his comments/messages is really the best way to end this cycle. And I'm glad you have decided to focus all your energy on your new/current relationship instead of him.
Like others said above, block him. Block him and continue to ignore him. It will likely take a while, but he will eventually give up (unless he's a crazy stalker, in which case you should call the police and get a restraining order).Â
Im in the same boat as you, for some unknown reason my ex and i had that same cycle, and it got worse this time, i literally just got off the phone with him telling him that he needs to back off and that i am not the childish one, he is with his un needed remarks..Good luck..The best thing to do is keep ignoring him.
@SteamyDumpling@xanga - it's just to make him understand that you are standing by your decision that he needs to GTFO. good luck!!
ignore ignore ignore. and make sure he has no access to you via blog, facebook, myspace etc. He'll eventually get the point. my ex did.
Tell him as maturely as you can and explain you are just not interested in going through this over and over again.
After that, nevermind it. You tried, you tried for a long time, but what does it matter what he thinks of you?
You can't keep putting yourself through something this frustrating for basically no reason.
Block him. He's trying to provoke you. Don't try to explain why you're blocking him, or why you don't want to talk to him anymore. And don't let him convince you into thinking you're being immature--HE'S the one acting like a baby. So just block him without a word.
I wonder how his new girlfriend would feel if she knew he was still trying to talk to you.
pleading, angry notes, and ignoring won't work - how about rational, cool conversation that isn't fraught with emotion or negativity?
Send him a picture of your new BF. If you have to copy a picture from some lineman from the football team. Tell him killer is a jelous type.
My ex was the same way. He grew incredibly clingy and jealous. He wanted to know everything I was doing. I noticed one morning that someone broke into my home and made calls on my phone to a guy I started to see and to a friend.. I found out it was him. he burglarized my home. I WAS SLEEPING in that room! He was a creeper... and after I called the cops he finally confessed.
The ass hole was only in jail for a few hours and then bailed himself out. But he still seems to think that the restraining order is still enacted... and it's not. So he ahs been safe to stay away.
BUT after blocking him and his "connections" to see my xanga, facebook and myspace, he proceeded to make fake profiles and try to make friends with me. or even message me and then that allowes him to have a month access to my page. I know his tricks. I dated the idiot.. I know how he works and it's more pathetic than anything I have ever encountered.
Be careful, they become creepers....
"I want nothing to do with you."
LOL!