Tuesday, 05 May 2009
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I Feel Ancient at 18
As the title suggests, I am 18 years old. I'll be 19 in June. I just finished my first year of college. And a friend of mine from high school just got engaged.
He was in my class! I've known him since we were 11! I've known him through braces and mommy-approved bowl cuts. I've known all his past girlfriends, including his...fiance. OMG he has a fiance!
Now, this girl is two grade levels older than he is (she transferred and skipped a grade and whatever else, but she's not 2 years older), so I can kind of understand it...kind of, but it is totally freaking me out that someone from my senior class is comfortable committing to one person for the rest of his life! They are really good for each other and he is extremely mature for his age, but I still think it's a tad soon for him to be making that decision, even though he will be 20 in August. For her it isn't though, so again, I understand. Age doesn't really matter much to me anyway. It's just a number and, if they make it work, great for them. They have just as good a chance as anybody.
What's freaking me out is not when he's engaged, but that someone from my class can be engaged! I am old enough for that to be possible! Now, I have been with my current BF for a year and a half, only a few months shy of how long the newly engaged couple have been together, and I am nowhere near ready for that commitment. At all. I know everyone is different and I will be ready in my own time, but I still can't help but feel like I'm falling behind. Like life is just one big ticking clock...and my watch is slow. I mean, I could be attending their wedding in a year or so (I don't actually know what the date is, but I figure it will be soon after she finishes college)!
Have any of you ever felt like this, whether it be a friend getting engaged or something else? When do you think you'll be ready to settle down?
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Comments (78)
I was voted one of the most likely to be married first by all my friends... 3 guys later, I'm no where near first! Everday I log on facebook and see wedding and engagement pictures.. but the final blow was when my roommate's best friend got engaged, he's barely 19, and he proposed to his 19 year old girlfriend. I'm 21, I suddenly feel like it's never going to happen for me. Here's to optimisim.
I'm 15.
Being completely honest, they are too young. How have you experienced enough by that age to know what you want in a life partner? I am 22 years old (Not much older!) & I still am struggling with that.
the wedding's so soon b/c a baby's in the oven?! jk. just a thought.
wow. my 3 girls told me that out of the four of us, it'd be me first. but i think i'd marry around 27ish. Maybe that'd be a good age...
Honestly, I feel like I could get married right now. I wouldn't, but I feel like I could.
I had similar feelings last week when I found out more than one girl in my class of 95 has had a kid since my graduation a mere 2 years ago. And gotten engaged/married since then or somehow fucked themselves over royally with drugs/alcohol/retarded decisions. It is very surreal indeed.
I kinda feel you... I'm 20 years old and my cousin just turned 20 and got engaged like a month or so ago... and it's just weird a little. And some girls that I went to school with are pregnant/have kids and are married! But that's their choice... and although at first it could have been weird it really isn't... you get older and things change so what can you do? lol.
I don't believe in marriage, but it does seem like everyone is getting married all around me...two out of three of my sisters are engaged and my brother just broke one.
It's a little weird to realize that the people you've known since childhood are grown and can make such choices...but it happens. I had much the same feeling you do right now through a lot of milestones.
This is very common for people that was in my senior class. I know at least 10 people that got engaged their first year of college.
Hell, I know at least 10 people that got PREGNANT during their senior year.
Whatever...kids...
I've had to same thoughts too, seeing a lot of my friends getting married/engaged. People have always said I'd be the first to get married in my group of friends but I don't see that happening. I want to finish all my years of college first and then get established in a job. Which by then I'll be 22-23 which I think is perfectly fine.Â
It was coming back for a high school chorus concert after freshman year of college and meeting my HS lunch table friend's baby. Dude, we're 18...you have a prom baby? That was upsetting.
I am 20, and I don't feel behind (yet).
I know a few people who I went to High School (or something other school) or camp with back in the day who are engaged (or even married). However, none of these are my really good friends. They're mostly aquaintances - so it's kind of a "whatever, they're engaged, congrats to them" kind of thing. It's not so real for me, yet.
There is one girl I talk to fairly regularly in one of my classes who is 20 and got married this past December. That made me think a little, but not really.
I think once we get a little closer to graduation (in 2 years) that I will start to feel a little behind (unless I've somehow found "the love of my life" by then, but I doubt it). I have an older friend, she is 25 now, but she graduated college in 2007. She married just after graduation and so did many of her friends. So, I imagine it'll go something like that for a lot of people around me as well. *Shrugs* We'll see.
You have no idea... just wait till your cousins younger than you start getting married as well. I don't necessarily feel left behind, because I'm living life and getting experience while they're tying themselves down.
But I have met the greatest guy in the world. We've talked about the possibility and I wouldn't be surprised if it happened... But a year ago when I was just turning 20 I was nowhere near ready.
I just got married, and I'll be 20 in August.
Did I do it sooner than most? Sure...but I'm unbelievably happy.
Most college engagements are never followed through.
All I can say is, don't try to keep up with others in stuff like that. It is different for everyone.
my girlfriend and i are going to be engaged before college is over and most definitely are going to get married as soon as we graduate. i have two friends, one my age and one a year older than me, that just got married a few weeks ago. my best childhood friend is engaged to a girl that's in high school.
it's all personal preference. some people argue that people that young don't know who they are, and they're right. people who get engaged and married young aren't jaded by life yet; they can see the world as it should be. my girlfriend and i clicked right away like i had never felt with another girl. i had 6 other girlfriends before her. she's never had another boyfriend.
i always thought that i would get married when i was in my late 20's, but that was before i found the perfect person for me. we've been dating for 2 years and we are very ready to get engaged and gettting married within the next 2 years. sometimes you have to be in the relationship to see that its time.
turning 20 this year and going to 3rd year university now. I don't know anyone who's gotten engaged, but I do know of people who've gotten pregnant. And although I'd love to find my future husband and kind of settle, I wouldn't get married now. I think my family might all have a heart attack. Definitely not behind :)
my two friends just got married and we are only nineteen. Not to mention one was my best friend and i was her bridemaid. There have been pregnancies of people in my class as well as babies.
im like umm how old am i again?
it was kind of sad to see my best friend get married, i grew up with her.. and my old friend has a three year old daughter and i grew up with her too.
lol but im immature and i dont want to get married till at least 26.
Yeah I graduated in 2008, and a large percentage of my graduating class is either pregnant or expecting. I find this all a bit ridiculous. I know right off hand about eight people who have gotten married. I think its silly unless there is no other choice. I wouldnt even think about marriage until I'm completely set in what I want to accomplish, such as graduating from college and getting a job. I'm predicting that I would want to get married around age 24-26. Anything before that and I would still feel like a child.
-On a side note. A friend of mine, 24, has a two-year old daughter, and I think she is most precious thing in the world! It made super excited about having kids, but it's probably just because she was really cute and sweet =) I can't wait to be a mom, but it'll be a long process...hehe. I think most people don't realize that children aren't puppies and they aren't going to just go away. You have them for LIFE!
My friend (also in the same graduating class as I was) got married last year at 19. Several of my other friends are engaged. I keep getting the impression that they don't know what they're getting into.
wow i wasn't even thinking about marriage at 18.
i'm 22 now, turning 23 in october. i still don't feel pressure yet, although i do know a handful of people my age who are married and/or engaged. the big bulk of weddings seem to be among my friends who are a few year older than me, so it definitely feels like i have some time. and perhaps i'm feeling less pressure because i already have a long-term boyfriend (dating 3 years) so i don't have to go through the anxiety-ridden process of finding a potential future hubby.
i think once i'm out of grad school, there will be more pressure from my parents about settling down... but i don't think i'd be opposed to it either. but i just know now is not the time!