Miss Reindeer Well, H. is out, guys. We have been texting and talking on the phone a fair amount the past week or so. We were talking on the phone the other night about what our plan was going to be for the weekend and the conversation began to flow into what most would call "phone sex". It started out innocently enough, I'd say about PG-13. I'm no stranger to this practice after once being in a long-distance relationship, so I figured I could participate. I didn't have anything else going on at the moment.
So pretty soon instead of a conversation, I find myself on the receiving end of a lecture - a freaky S&M kinda lecture that went on for what seemed like ages. I'm not even going to put into print what was said in my direction because it makes me majorly uncomfortable. Seriously, my mouth was agape in horror and I was trying not to laugh because I couldn't even believe it was happening.
Now, honestly, I'm not too judgmental when it comes to what people like in bed. We all have our kinky things that we like (I know I do), but I've only known H. three weeks max.
We haven't slept together or anything like that. I don't even know what his middle name is, but I know that he would like to put a leash and collar on me. WTF, guys? WTF? Why would someone reveal this fetish to a woman he hardly knows (also, I might add, one that appears pretty wholesome at first glance). I'm pretty much owning that "girl-next-door" look; I'm not running around with a giant bolt through my tongue or anywhere else.
"What do you think of all of that?" he asked me. I politely explained that I had another call and that I would text him later. I didn't and he hasn't called. I think both parties have gotten the hint. I'm not that upset because like I said before we haven't connected that much and I don't think we have the same sense of humor or the same sexual behaviors, apparently. I'm all for sharing fantasies and trying new things, but personally, it has to be with someone I'm in a relationship with and that I really trust.
Has someone you were dating ever surprised you like this? Not necessarily sexually, but just in a way that totally threw you for a loop? Did it mark the end of whatever was going on between you?
edit: thanks for correcting the title, guys. i am
an a horrible editor sometimes.
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Comments (39)
LOL.
Totally weird, but the title ticks me off. "When AN normal..."
I'm a grammar freak xD
Yeah it happened to me. From this creepy guy that randomly started IMing me and telling me how great the sex would be if he lived near me.
But other than that, to each his own. I personally can't stand S&M, but that's just my own opinion.
I think you acted too rationally because it freaked you out at the moment. Yeah it is a little creepy(even by my standards, and I do have bolts in places) but you should still give him a chance to explain, maybe he was just saying that because it was the first thing that came to his head. Words don't come easily to everybody and some people it is even harder to think of something to say on the spot like that.
"I'm pretty much owning that "girl-next-door" look".
Do you expect people to give you serious answers when you talk about yourself this way?
During my freshman year in high school, I dated this one freak for about 2 months (God, I was so desperate back then)...and he thought about the nasty 24/7. He was the biggest perv. that I've ever known for as long as I've lived, and I don't think it bothered him in the least bit. I left my current boyfriend to be with him, and unbenounced to me, he was a total perv. that somehow slipped right under my radar. Funny how guys will act as long as they're trying to make a good impression. He told me every day that he loved me, and then ended up expecting me to sleep with him after the 1st month and a half. I was 14. FOURTEEN. What the **** is up with that? I never got the chance to know him well enough due to him always having his mammouth tongue down my throat, and one day I just got fed up with all of his sexual innuendos and comments and actions. He told me once that he thought that breaking up through a letter was really retarded (probably because he had dislexia) so on our "2 month anniversary" I wrote him a nice little note before school and gave it to him on the way to class. Needless to say, things never continued from there. I'll tell ya, there's only so much pushing a girl can take before she starts pushing back. People just don't have any common sense these days. I'm sorry that you were put in such an awkward situation with your freaky little fetish friend, but thanks for sharing the story. =] I guess the collar and leash thing really puts a new spin on referring to some women as "bitches". Haha. Good luck in the future.
Lolll at the misspelled title.
I think I dated my first boyfriend for a year or two before he mentioned to me his policeman fetish. hehe
@Nicole352@xanga - "He told me once that he thought that breaking up through a letter was really retarded (probably because he had dislexia)"
eek. It made me a little uncomfortable, the political incorrectness.
acutally before my fiance, i met this guy that i thought was pretty cute, so i gave him my phone number and he called me right away after we went out clubbing. we didn't live in the same town so we would call each other or text each other a lot and it was probably only one week after we met, we already spent like 3-4 hours on the phone getting to know each other, so one night, he asked me some personal questions after another and then it went to sexual questions and i was a little hesitant at first and then gave him some details and he started getting more interested in the conversation and it went further. i didn't completely stop it because i wanted him to initiate it as well. i think there is a time for it and then other times when you don't feel comfortable with it, you need to voice your opinion.
@nexthorizon@xanga - I'm sorry to offend you, if I did. Do explain please.
At least you found out about the collar and chain on the phone and not in person. lol. There's a time for turning an innocent call into a not so innocent call, and that's usually after she initiates and even then you don't go full blown fetish on the person.
he went over the line way too soon. and i think you handled it smoothly
I think nexthorizon meant that you made fun of him for his supposed disabilities but you spelled "dislexia" wrong. it is "dyslexia."
and writing him a note to break-up is very rude. then again, he was asking for it, I guess, since he went a bit overboard with his bondage fantasy 
lol
and to address this question, yes, I've encountered pervs, mostly from online, but I was expecting it. I got one of those perv prank calls and he didn't tell me his fetish, just made noises and I hung up
lol jeeeez, people these days.
"one that appears pretty wholesome at first glance"
LOL.... wow. If only everyone could be so insanely superficial as to assume one's outward appearance defines their personality, and certainly their sex life.
Personally, I wouldn't try having phone sex with someone I wasn't already dating. But at least you took the mature way out and just told him what was wrong... oh wait...
@IfIWereAchilles@xanga - Exactly.
@RazorBladeParade@xanga - Covered all of my thoughts exactly.
Well the boy I lost my virginity to after being together a year immediately revealed to me after the sex that he would love to have anal. Little did I know, his obsession and my repulsion would end the entire relationship two more years later. Joy!
Good post ~
i have never had a guy i was seeing do that to me thank God. However a few years ago i worked at a call center and one guy ended the call this way "ok you can hang up now. I am finished. thanks for the great voice to get me off"
i worked for a phone company and was talking about his phone service not sex. I felt so gross and dirty afterward. lol
I guess I sort of feel sorry for the guy. I understand your reaction to his sexual style everyone has their own fantasy sex things and his was not for you. Maybe the reason you let him go on and on with the phone sex is because you were too stunned to stop him. But, he must have been a great guy or you wouldn't have been chatting with him for weeks right? So, he opened himself up to you with phone sex and you were sort of in to it at first and you listened for "ages" without stopping him so he could only assume you were into it. Sure it's a bit early in the relationship for him to reveal a deep part of his inner self like that but, in a way it's also a huge compliment that he trusted you so comepletely. You were his friend and he trusted you and you belittled him and then dumped him with a note? I'm not trying to come down on you, I'm sure it was strange and probably a bit scary to learn that a friend has those kinds of desires for you. It just seems that your reaction was overly harsh.
NOT a fan of S&M or S&M sex phone calls. I mean, what the hell? By no means am I old fashioned but that is a major creeper alert for me.
Yeah, definitely a deal-breaker. Even if I explain to a guy I actually want a relationship...they still find ways to turn it sexual. Three months ago, sex-only didn't bother me. Now I have a daughter and I wanna do better for her.
Bye bye, guy. Say GOOD RIDDANCE!
ｌｏｌｏｌ． Ｔｈａｔ ｒｅａｌｌｙ ｓｕｃｋｓ／ｉｓ ｆｕｎｎｙ ｏｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｂｅｈａｌｆ． ＸＤ
@RichTez76 - "At least you found out about the collar and chain on the phone and not in person."
= P hahaha, yep, that would've been bad...