Miss OstrichMy friend has had a crush on her photography professor since the beginning of the year. She comes sighing into my room after her photo class and flops onto my bed, musing over his black and white photographs of birds sitting on telephone wires or brooding men wearing boas and false eyelashes. She views him as a beautiful genius.
It's not so strange. I've seen the man; he can't be much older than thirty, and he is very attractive. My friend is twenty-one. Falling for a young, sexy professor is nothing unusual.
What is unusual, however, is when the professor in question begins to fall for his student.
The last time she came into my room after class, she didn't flop onto my bed. Instead, she stood just inside the door and waited for me to come to her. I asked her what was wrong.
"So...I had to meet with Eric (it's also not unusual to refer to our professors by their first names. Woo art school!) after class since I failed that test, and I think he asked me out..."
She went on to say he didn't talk about the test with her. Instead, he asked her about herself, which she had no problem discussing, but then, he asked her to finish the discussion later at a bar close to our school. She agreed right away, but before she left, the professor said, "Would you mind keeping this between the two of us? I don't need to get in trouble for wanting to put a few drinks in you." Walking back to the dorm, she says she started to think maybe she made a mistake.
"On the other hand," she said, "If this is a date, that's awesome. I don't know why I'm feeling weird about it. I guess I never thought my crush would go anywhere."
She ended up going, but I have yet to hear how it went.
What I'm wondering is, is it more acceptable for a professor to date a college student than it is for a high school teacher to date one of their students? Should any kind of teacher dating their students be acceptable at all?
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Maybe they can wait until she finishes that class becuase it sounds like it can be trouble simply because of the teacher-student relationship. But other than that all's a go :)
Fantasy's over now, I guess. I don't think she'll be so charmed by him anymore now that he is noticing her too.
@youngvan@xanga - i agree
it may sound a bit taboo in hs. but this is college/university. age is just a number now..so if 2 ppl are interested in each other, nothing should stop them from getting to know each other.
although it is a bit unprofessional between a professor and a college student so they will have a dilemma if it does get serious. good luck to her :]
A highschool teacher should never date their students and so it is quite a bit different. In university or any higher education everyone is an adult and as long as it is not compromising the academic environment then it should be fine for a student and a teacher to date.
It can make things awkward if she dates her professor. I haven't heard of these kinds of incidents happening much in college, but then again, they (the administrators) are very hushed up about it.
o_O Do you think he failed her on purpose so that he could talk to her alone? (just a thought lol)
But I think she should wait until she's done with the class if she's serious in pursuing a relationship with him.
@youngvan@xanga - Good advice.
Usually the rules are students and teachers are not allowed to date. Some schools don't allow it after someone graduates. The school I work for seems to want to apply this right down the line to everyone not just teachers and administrators.
"What I'm wondering is, is it more acceptable for a professor to date a
college student than it is for a high school teacher to date one of
their students?"
Well, yeah. For one thing, we're talking about two legal adults... not an adult and a minor.
I guess it would depend on the school's policy.
I cannot wait to hear the rest of the story...
I know a poly sci professor who married a former student of his (he was on my pre-med committee who wrote my recommendation letter for medical school-a lady friend of mine used to think he was hot). I think they are doing well but it was kind of weird to see that relationship make it to that level. I also know a music professor who lost his tenure/job for sleeping with a student. Both male professors were quite admired by the ladies though, especially the poly sci professor.
As long as he isn't teaching her when they start going out. The reason they have policies in place about teacher-student relationships is because a relationship clouds your judgment.
If she's over 18, then it doesn't matter what she does. She really should wait until the end of the semester, though. I've had professors who wouldn't even be my friends on facebook until the end of the semester because they didn't want anyone to accuse them of playing favorites.
I wonder how her "date" went?
If she failed that test, I don't think they should be dating right now. I think dating between a student and a teacher should wait until after the student has left the class.
haha, wow... the same exact thing happened at my college, and it was with the photography professor...
I think it is inappropriate for a student to be dating a professor, specifically if she is in his class. That can cause wayyy too much drama, not to mention the awkwardness in the classroom. If they do begin to date, the classroom needs to be kept professional, student-teacher relationships only.
That's hot.
I wonder how her date went. xD
Generally, I don't think teachers/professors should be going out with their students. A friendly relationship is fine, but anything past that :x .
It's ok but he should have waited for class to be over. Doing that--asking in the middle of the school term--will only cause complications and ask for trouble.
I think the reason it's weird in high school is because the age difference is larger.
As far as your friend goes, it would be better for both of them if they waited until she was done with that class. It could just get awkward with potential accusations of favortism and stuff. They could both get in trouble. As long as she's not in his class though, it's fine. Just two people that are attracted to eachother.
Obviously, high school teachers+their students = not cool, because of legal age and all that. After the student graduates and turns 18, whatev, but... yeah.
As for university student/professor... I know at my university, students and professors may not have romantic or sexual relationships while the student is still taking the professor's classes, whether it be current or future... which makes it difficult for people who major in that specific subject and have several classes with that prof, but easier if you're just taking it once for Gen Ed. If there is a "conflict of interest," either the couple has to end the relationship, or they try to put the student into another professor's class if possible.
This also applies to TAs... and I am a TA that is currently dating a former student. Admittedly, the age gap is smaller, but it happens. ^_^
I'd say it's inappropriate, but not at all unacceptable.
I had the hots for my TA; he was only in grad school! and he had the nicest back from being in rockclimbing club.
I have had more than one of what I call "Secret Professor Crushes." It can be distracting in class
....but I wouldn't act on it. Maybe if our paths crossed again later....who knows? But not while I'm still in school. Definitely not okay for someone still in high school...you know, with the whole illegal thing.
I think it's probably not very acceptable to date your student while you still have that relationship title of "student/professor". After that title is gone though, sure, why the hell not? Especially in University/College. Age is not quite so important.
High School teachers dating students? Hell no.
it might be a bit taboo, but in a different context, outside of school, they're both capable adults