Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FMLToday, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FMLToday, my fiance got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiance will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FMLToday, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FMLToday, is my boyfriend and my 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video and exercise equipment. FML
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Comments (21)
I love FML, it's the highlight of my day
ah it's already FML friday... geeze FML.
Word.
Ouch. Especially the last one... oy. Her boyfriend was incredibly stupid.... how moronic can you *get,* to give your SO workout equipment on an anniversary? Sheesh.
FML ?
lol
FTL!
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I still don't get how porn would show up on "What You're Listening To" unless you have porn saved in itunes...which doesn't seem like the brightest thing to do.
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - I was wondering the same thing.
The neck brace one is just...ouch. That's so awful.
FML is the best website ever! (save datingish, of course
)
I love FML:)
The first and fourth one is really hilarous. xD
XD
the second one is something that would definitely happen to me.
i love the first one the most. super funny!
LOL FML<3
LOL! Aww, some of those really suck though. =/
At least that guy with the fiance isn't married yet, he can still get away.
@forever_musing@xanga - agreed!
Today I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from using glue to remove blackheads. A great idea, so many sources online, books and on television suggested to, even Oprah herself. I got so unknowingly high I almost made love to the porcelain dish. Instead I walked into a dresser because my world wouldn't stop spinning. My entire day went to absolute shit. It's the next day, and I am still regretting it. FML.