There was a post submitted the other day from a guy who said his girlfriend had dumped him after he'd said some not-so-nice things to her. "How can I get her back?" he asked.
And it got me thinking, I don't really believe in second chances. If someone is that horrible to you the first time, what's the likelihood of him or her changing? I don't think that's realistic. I may have missed out on opportunities by not opening up
I'll admit, I do tend to hold grudges and if someone treats me badly, I cut him or her out of my life, so in this guy's situation, I think it's hopeless . . . but that's just me.
Do you believe in second chances? Are you a grudge holder?
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Comments (63)
I do not give second chances. I am friends with a few guys I dated, but we broke up for a reason.
I dont give bfs second chances but I do give friends second chances. 3rd chance? No way
I give out chances. But not more than one.
Been screwed over so many times for it
I believe in second chances.
I give out too many chances because I'm too forgiving.
I believe in second chances, however not third chances.
It depends; for most things two chances are okay. However, before we were married I warned my husband that if he ever hit me or cheated on me, that would be the end, period. No second chances. So far, so good. I've always been able to see through people and am a pretty good judge of character, so I'll know if or when he has ever cheated. Have learned a few tricks from the show, "Lie To Me" as well; love it!
Depends what they did.
im starting to learn that in relationships..second chances are pointless. as much as i hate to admit it
I usually hold grudges too, I can forgive, but never forget, so in the end, I can't fully forgive either.
But my current boyfriend is using up his second and last chance, and to me it seems logical.
It depends on the situation, and I don't regret giving him a second chance, but if I would've given it to my other ex, I definitely would've regretted it,so it depends on the person and the situation.
I want to believe in second chances, I want to so badly, I want to believe people can really change and that trust can be rebuilt and the same patterns won't come back.
I wish I did, I'm trying to.
if it didn't work out the first time, it won't work the second time.
Personally, I believe that everyone deserves another chance.
But if they make the mistake again, they *might* get another.
Beyond that I'll cut them out.
I hold a long memory like that.
So yes, I believe second chances should be given. But I also believe that if someone won't appreciate it, they didn't deserve it.
So I'll hold a grudge more or less.
I believe in second chances, but it all depends on the person I give that chance to. :\
I don't really believe in second chances unless something has changed. Breaking up with your boyfriend because he's too immature doesn't mean getting back together with him 2 weeks later - in a couple years maybe he will have grown up though, and you can try again.
I believe in second chances.
@oOBuBBLes711Oo@xanga - So Bfs don't merit a second chance? But friends do? How does that work? If your GF said the same things Your BF did...both equally BAD, how do you work that out?
For me it is all about whether the person is really sorry and if I believe that they are really sorry. I am not a religious person but I do believe that when people ask for sincere forgiveness they should get it. Generally, people who are sincerely apologetic for their actions want to do something about it...in fact they already have by apologizing in the first place. Everyone messes up...it's how you handle it that counts.
I'm a grudge holder (too) but I believe in second chances. People often mature and regret what they did to another person in time and (some of them) change themselves for the better. Everyone deserve a second chance but of course, they have to prove themselves to you first. Don't be naive and think it will just magically happen and take them on their words alone.
It totally depends on the situation. Sometimes I cut people out completely, and sometimes I give more chances. Depends on how bad they hurt me & how close we were beforehand, I s'pose.
What I believe and what I do are totally different things. Unfortunately.
Of course. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes.
I really do not hold grudges... but I still remember the memories though... lol I forgive way too easily. It's very hard for me to stay mad for a long time.
and I guess I'd give the guy a second chance if he really meant something to me... but idk it all depends on so many things.
I believe in second chances, I believe in many chances. Because I perosnally would want a chance to fix or change something, so I have no problem with giving a second (or third, or...) chance. I can forgive everything except for cheating.
Hmm...I really don't know about this one. Do people think it's a good idea for a second try after years of separation?