Speed-dating has always fascinated me. The concept seems fun. You meet 10 or so people in one evening, and if they're weirdos, the bell rings and you've moved on. Plus, out of those ten people, one or two have to be to your liking by the sheer laws of probability. Right?
Wrong!
My friends and I signed up to give it a try. Though we signed up for the women 21-29 and men 24-32 age group, the first person we met was 37. We had come a little early, and Papa Paul (a nickname of sorts) swooped down to chat with us.
He explained how he had gone speed-dating in the past, but everyone was really old. (Irony?). "I met this great woman - she was 38, but she wanted to get married right away. I'm not ready for that!" Seriously? That ship has sailed, circumnavigated the world, and been looted by pirates!
We asked if he had kids. Indeed, he had one 7 year-old daughter.
A simple mathematics lesson: 7+15 = 22 (our age). 22+15=37 (his age). We were equidistant in age between him and his daughter! As more people came in, my friend who was facing the door kept saying, "More bad news!" We were already there, so maybe things would look up?
My friend whispered, "That guy looks exactly like Sylar" (the villain from Heroes). He did. As the bell rang to signal the official start of things, Sylar sat down at my table. Papa Paul sat down at hers. It would be a long six minutes.
Sylar turned out to be an English major, but since then had transferred into the world of business.
"What kind of business?"
"Nut-roasting."
"Fascinating."
One guy made me guess his ethnicity. WTF? For all those searching for an icebreaker, that one is rather unsuccessful. I finally told him he looked like someone from the former Soviet satellite states. For some reason, he really liked my answer and said he'd be talking to me during the break. Luckily, there is a break.
When that time came, my friends and I clung to each other for dear life. The organizer of the program asked us how we were doing. "This is something we'll be talking about for a while," said my friend. He took that as good news.
At times it was nice talking to new people, but at other times, it was just really strained. It seemed kind of trite to ask the same questions ("What do you do for fun?" etc. etc.), but what were you supposed to ask? Also, a lot of people didn't take the age limit that seriously. I looked at the notes my friend took to remember each date: "Serial killer, mad creepy, NO, made me guess his ethnicity."
Haha - I guess I wasn't the only one not enjoying the evening. Some people were normal, but there was a lack of chemistry. My friend finally met someone she somewhat liked. "Some girl asked him, 'If you were an animal, what animal would you be?' "
"What a strange question... wait a sec - that was me!" Okay, I had to make it fun somehow, and the topic came up in conversation. (We were talking about Fight Club).
I wrote my complaints about the experience to the organization, and they offered a speed-dating evening on them. I declined.
Have you ever gone speed-dating? What was your experience like? Am I right to be a little disappointed? If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
Comments (23)
dude, that's FREAKING hilarious! Now you're scarying me because I was going to sign up for one of those things... And the age diff would bother me, esp. if the guy had a seven yr old daughter. Maybe it's me but as soon as I see that the guy has a kid from previous relationships, it totally doesn't work for me. Weird prejudice thingy I guess?? Anyways, great post!
hahahahah sylar
I went to a club once to meet some friends for a drink. It was only THEN i found out it was speed-dating, and they had an extra ticket for me. Bastards, I should've known better, it was only 8 pm, who goes to a club at that time! And they were buying drinks for me, by the truckload before the thing even started.
Here's seven things I recall, before I blacked out:
1. I saw some guy in the corner who owed me $100, and I wanted to kick his ass, lost in my thoughts, I spilled my drink on the first girl.
2. Every girl turned beet-red when I explained I was here off-the-cuff. I thought it was cool they were actively trying to meet a guy, but most seemed serious and angry under the surface.
3. After the end of the event, my friend won a bottle of wine in a raffle drawing, and I knew instantly it was mine b/c he didn't drink.
4. Me and my friend were sitting with two of the speed-date girls afterwards, one of which I'd spilled my drink on. My friend commented on how she had bags under her eyes (he loves that, dont ask). She tried to play it off, saying she hadn't put makeup on today, etc. He said 'no. . .i think it's genetic." I involuntarily spewed my drink all over the table as a result. Both girls left.
5. One extremely cute girl told me after the thing was over "I didn't get to date you!". I replied "know what? I'm gonna go grab a drink, come back and get to know you". And hour later, I had my arm around her, she was laughing and demanding I come to her b-day, but suddenly started avoiding me shortly after. I had declined to dance twice and her phone # though, so I definitely blew it.
6. The bouncers escorted me outside into a drunk tank after they caught me opening my wine bottle (wasn't bought from the club). I stayed out there all night, all my friends left, including the cute girl and her friends who waived bye.
7. I took four sobriety tests, passed all of them, and the bouncers still demanded to call me a cab. I went along with it. The second the cab guy was 10 feet away from the club, I yanked my keys from him, threw $10 out, and jumped out of the car and sprinted back to my mine. I was paranoid about the club bouncers seeing me, so I pulled over at a friends house two cities over. Fortunately I knew his garage password. My last memory was puking in my friend's toilet hearing my angy friend scream at me from the doorway.
So yeah, drama aside, speed dating is cool.
Sylar's character is hot, but I'm not sure about the person himself.
I wouldn't speed-date. It's a bad night waiting to happen.
Speed-dating has a stereotype for a reason.
I'd be a chinchilla.
Aha that sure sounds like something you'd be talking about for a while. I think it would be awkward and annoying.
Sylar is pretty attractive. =P
LOL. I probably wouldn't.
And I'd be ... a cat :3 . Or a bunny.
I don't think I would do that. I would be so awkward, unless i was in my silly crazy mood, then I would probably scare the people.
Oh, I'd be a sloth. If computers were trees. I'm tired of typing final papers for college.
Lol, that sounds pretty amusing, but awkward as hell!
Yah, they were horrible. Guys were socially-awkward. NEVER AGAIN! Match.com had better guys. And that was a mistake as well...
That is HILARIOUS! Horrible for you, but amazing for us to read!
Maybe you should try speed-dating with a different agency?
heh heh heh. speed dating sounds so.... wow. like a thing i would do for fun.. a joke kind of thing. just so we have something to talk about later. i dont think speed dating works out as well. you know. like the whole lack of chemistry thing. and how exactly are you supposed to impress someone in a meer 6 min? better chances at a club or church xD
Does anybody have any speed dating stories that went well?
LOOOL. sounds amazing!
but man sylar?! XD
thats hilarious
Sounds like fun I would like to try it but I would probably want to go with a few friends just for kicks. You never know though, its always worth it to keep your options open. At the least you get a good laugh on some of them and an interesting experience.
LOL. that sounds like an interesting night. haha maybe i should try it when i'm bored/single. haha. or maybe not. think of all the creepy guys >.>
I still want to try it, just for fun.
speed-dating is another term for serial killers lying about their real age while having a better chance to look into the eyes of scared senseless youthful looking single girls and ask quizilla-like questions until the bell dings, then they'll be scarred for life
lol
lol! This provided TONS of entertainment for me. I'm so sorry it didn't quite work out for you... :(
i've always been curious too! you should find one hosted by college for alums... that should weed out a lot of weirdos...
Hilarious! I've never been to a speed dating event although I will try it if my friend wanted to go. But I guess it's a bad idea since they don't care about the age limits. LOL
I would be a doggy!