Wednesday, 29 April 2009
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When Do You Expect Your SO to Stand Up for You?
Say you've got a problem with your boss, your friend or one of your SO's friends. Do you expect him or her to stick up for you?I understand that when something you've done is immoral or something you said might contradict your SO's beliefs and opinions, but when he or she can see you're visibly upset or bothered, one would expect them to naturally come to your rescue. (When I'm in a situation like that, I feel embarrassed by my SO, and I never know how to respond.)
And even if he or she's too wimpy to come to your rescue, he/she could at least talk about it with you and try to make you feel better, right? Has your SO ever let you down by not sticking up for you? Does your SO accept it when others talk trash about you and vice versa?
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- From: ilikethinking
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Comments (27)
My boyfriend has stood up for me in the past, when this guy we know calls me a slut & whatnot. He's been very good about making sure the guy never speaks about me again :] Nonviolently, of course.
My bf stuck up for me the very first day we were dating by running off a guy who kept wanting to "hook up" with me. i like the comfort of knowing someone will be there for me when i get into a bind. i almost got into a fight once at a concert with a much bigger guy and the bf at the time said he wasnt going to do anything unless he hit me. one of my best friends (a guy) who was with us stepped in and tried to diffuse the problem, even tho he still holds it against me that it was during his favourite song. haha
WHEN THE OTHER PERSON AIN'T ACTING RIGHT..
OR WHEN YOU CAN TELL I'M TRULY FUCKING SCARED.
otherwise, lemme handle it.
He yells at other guys when they're picking on me. This guy friend (or exfriend) of mine talked to me in a very not so nice way, so he called his friends and they all told him to stop talking to me, lol. I like knowing how protective my boyfriend is. Makes me feel secure.
My SO definitely stands up for me. He also doesn't accept it when someone else talks trash about me. I'm the same way towards him.
As for when the correct time is for the SO to begin standing up for you.. I guess it depends on the people in the relationship. Some people wouldn't appreciate being stood up for at all, no matter what the relationship is with the person who done it.
Well for some reason in whatever group I hang out with, I always end up being the butt of most jokes (and no, it's not that they don't like me and I'm too stupid to realize, its just all in good fun kidding) and when he started hanging out with us, and even now, he always sticks up for me when they say anything.
I don't think his friends would dare say something about me because they know it pisses him off. HahaHellll yeeeeh. My ex was protective (ahem, not OVER protective) & made sure no one did stupid shit with me. He beat up a retard who was like two years older than him 'cuz the dude kept on making whistling noises at me while we were walking & even touched me to get my attention. My ex let him know that he's crossing the borders the first time he whistled and yelled shit at me. but he kept going at it, so my ex just beat the shit outta him.
I was thankful for times like that where I had a guy in my life that would always protect me & made sure no harm was done. he took care of me when guys did stupid shit like that & other times too, but for things like a friendship or verbal fight w/ someone I knew, he would console me & make me feel better. i handled the reeessst.
if i tell him i am in annoyed about a certain person, he says 'im sorry' i don't know why exactly but he always does. i guess in a way he is comforting me.. ???
My SO knows I'm very capable of defending myself with both words and fists, I'm 5'8", built, and I have quite a mouth on me when someone sets me off. If he ever saw it necessary I'm sure he'd defend me though. I've defended him in the past. Almost beat up my ex for trying to get between us.
my SO would stick up for me if he knows through every point of view that I am right. If my opinion/ action should of been done a different way, he'll let me know. He'll show me every aspect of the situation and challenges me if I'd do differently. If I'm at fault, he wouldnt push it to me too much. He'll just let me know what I've done wrong.
Which I really like ^___^ Because he shows me that I'm not always right, there's many sites of each situation (in which I never seen)
And noo! He absolutely cannot take it when someone talks about me or mistreats me :D:D:D
IE: I have this classmate who would request me to cheat for her on the test which I personally dont cheat, nor can I cheat properly (Dont ask) and when I couldnt give her the answers, she'd yell at me and rant in frusteration. Anyways, when I told my boyfriend about it, he was like: Oh .. okay, so what's her name again..? (Which I know he'll find her background and everything.. lulz)
This is like reading a story out of my own life! Recently, my husband's ex best friend and all of her friends have been talking shit about me and my hubby is letting it happen. He won't say anything to them. He says it's because he was taught if you ignore it, it will go away... it really hurts me.
If any guy acts disrespectful to me or blatantly hits on me when my boyfriend is there, he stands up and says something.
Um yeah!
I think there's a big difference between sticking up for someone and overreacting to something that isn't really a threat. By stand up for, I figure it to mean that you support them in decisions and to an extent, behavior. I don't consider beating someone up standing up for your partner. I'm also not sure this kind of "disrespect" stuff happens so much to those who have entered into the world of adulthood.
i'm pretty sure in my previous/current relationships have happened before, i just dont remember them
Well seeing as nothing gets to my boyfriend I don't expect him to stand up for me. I would just like if he did. No one really puts me down though.
If someone said something bad about me to him it would be a wonderful feeling if he said "She's not that!" or something a long those lines.
I expect him to stand up for me for the right reasons. If he is standing up to protect me, then yes. He will do that for me -- even if I haven't heard anything about his friends talking crap about me. Yet, he will make me stand up for myself when it's an issue that I should deal with on my own.
No, I can get myself out of my own shit.
While I'm a damsel that can usually get out of her own distress, I had an ex that just let his mother blame me for everything he did that she didn't like. He would go to the mall with some friends instead of doing chores and his mother would blame it on me and go on about how I was a bad influence and such. I wasn't even at the mall with him! Obviously, we didn't work out. At all.
Anytime anyone is rude to me. He's never around.
But I know if he was. He'd stand up for me, even if I asked him not to. & that makes me happy.
i expected him to stand up for me in front of his friends but whatevs.. i'm looking for someone better :)
One time, my car scratched up this double parked car and the other car driver came up to me to ask for money. My date at the time (who is my bf right now after 2 yrs) asked him what happened and the car driver said he was about to drive out and then his car got scratched. So my bf turned around and said that he was driving out without looking for oncoming traffic. So the car driver dropped it and left. He saved me, it was sexii~~~
I would want my boyfriend to stand up for me no matter what the incident is. My fault, their fault. He can scold at me later but during the incident, I want him to support me.
We both stand up for eachother.
For instance, my room mate was a total bitch to him and acted like he had no right to be in our room when he just greeted her when she walked in (nothing weird. he just said a friendly "hello"), so I told her off.
And one time this guy asked to read my shirt and instead of just reading it, he traced along each line with a finger, which was totally unnecessary. I was too shocked to do anything before he finished reading and walked away, so I, completely steamed, walked over to my boyfriend and told him what happened. He immediatly told me to point the guy out, walked over and told him how disrespectful that was and that he has no right to touch any woman unless she says he can. The guy started yelling, making a big scene and trying to act like he'd done nothing wrong. My boyfriend told him that I had never given him permission to touch me in any way shape or form, and I could technically call security because he'd touched my breasts.
No other man I've dated would've done that for me.
He stands up for me a lot actually, against my sister & my parents, his friends have never been disrespectful to me or anything.