Sunday, 26 April 2009
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Does a Gay Man Have a Shot with a Straight Man?
I used to think the answer to this question was an obvious no, but now I'm starting to rethink that. I know many guys who have experimented sexually with another guy. Maybe it was once during college. Maybe it happened during childhood. Or maybe it happened when he was drunk one night and just hanging out with a buddy. I've heard pretty much all of the excuses straight guys have to tell themselves to justify sexual exploration with another guy. If sexual experimentation can be justified, is romantic experimentation that far off? I don't think that it is.How many times does a straight man get to experiment with another guy before he's officially in denial about his heterosexuality? Also, with more and more women turning to each other for sexual and romantic fulfillment, how far off will it be until men begin doing the same thing? If a man feels close enough to another man to consider him a friend and the two of them experiment regularly, aren't they basically a couple? When will guys learn that it's okay to like other guys? In a society that's becoming more and more open minded, no excuses need to be made.
In the gay community, when a gay man has a crush on a straight man, that straight man is known as "forbidden fruit." What I don't understand is why the fruit has to be so forbidden. Honestly, it makes no sense - just go ahead and eat it! As someone who has a lot of straight guy friends, I've noticed that several of them seem to be very unhappy in the world of heterosexuality. Many of my straight guy friends are fed up with girls and have told me that their ideal mate is a female with a male's mentality and interests. Am I the only one who sees a problem with this?
Girls are not always sugar, spice and everything nice, which is perfectly acceptable. In fact, that's one of the great things about women. So why don't more men step outside of their comfort zone and learn to accept happiness wherever they can find it? Heterosexual females are adapting this mentality more and more every day - freeing themselves of society's labels and challenging the notions of right and wrong and many of them are happier because of it. It's ironic that the sex the world has always deemed "weaker" is the one strong enough to pave the way.
In my opinion, it's only a matter of time before we evolve into a species that's open enough to take love no matter which gender it comes from. There will always be girls who wish guys were more sensitive and find themselves falling in love with a friend they may have considered a sister. There will always be guys who wish girls were more into video games and find themselves falling in love with their homie. I look forward to the day when we stop fighting what our hearts want and base our feelings on the individual, not on our pre-programmed, traditional ideals.
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About the Author
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- From: ILNY83@xanga
- Name: Robert
- About Me: Almost 30. Almost a lot of things.
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Comments (66)
i hope this is true. i defiantly had some unusually close friendships with my straight guy friends, we would always end up naked (even though nothing happened:() but i think if there wasnt such a stigma with straight me we would have more then lily ended up doing more then being naked best friends sitting next to eahcother
Erm...well let's turn it around, shall we? Does a straight girl have a shot with a gay man?
don't make yourself look like a creeper though. i don't think there is anything wrong with a gay guy liking a straight guy, but that straight guy might be a straight up homophobe.
it's something to be cautious about.
@just_the_average_jane@xanga - exactly!
If the man is genuinely straight a gay man won't have a shot with him.
I agree with you.
Ooooo. That's a good question. My answer to the question is that yes, so long as the straight guy is open to the idea.
And to the rest of your blog, I wish for that as well. I'm not for the entire world becoming homosexual, where would the babies come from? But I am for eradicating the social stigma of liking someone of the same sex.
@just_the_average_jane@xanga - good point.
Why would you want to put the moves on someone who is of a different orientation? That's where, I think homosexuality can cross lines- just like religion. People fuss over Jehovah Witnesses pushing religion on you; if a lesbian hit on me, I'd feel like my privacy had been intruded on or my bubble had been seriously punctured.
I'm not homophobic, but I don't necessarily agree with it- I mean, don't get me wrong; half my friends are gays or lesbians, but when I was younger, my best girl friend did awful things to me, so it seriously fucked up my opinion of "those kinds" of girls. If a lesbian made it obvious that she wanted to be on a different level than friends, and pressured me about it, me being incredibly angry would be the understatement of the year.
I took some Women's Studies courses in college, and it's interesting you mentioned how we're "programmed" to think that only members of the opposite sex are meant to be together, because it reflects a lot of what I learned and read from those classes as well. I think that probably just simply stemmed from the way the natural reproductive process works, and now we defend that way of life--and even deny it--with religious fanaticism. You're right--that way of thinking is outdated, and we should embrace what we like rather than try to hide it from each other.
I have no clue & I'm glad I don't.
Unfortunately, there's more to attraction than just the mental aspect. Physical attraction involves chemicals, and those are not so easily overcome. As much as I might like hanging out and talking with an intelligent woman, I have no desire to become intimate with one.
Are you suggesting that people can choose their sexual orientation?
maybe one shot at love, a straight man might be tempted and not deny a bj from a gay man, who has the hots for him, but he probably still considers himself to be straight since he didn't have intercourse with the gay guy. I think those guys are called on the down-low. I learned that term from watching an educational Oprah show episode lol
and this is irrelevant but your Wii avatar is funny.
Ahhhhh this is of great controversy...
Can an straight individual become sexually involved w/a member of the same sex and still be straight? I think the answer is yes...
:e)
Amen! I think love should be based on personality and not on outward appearances!
No. If a person is truly straight, male or female, then same sex relations on a romantic level are impossible. Now, if a self proclaimed straight individual gets involved with a member of the same sex on such a level, I for one think it's safe to say they had it in them all along, and probably entertained the thought even if they never admitted it. I know straight individuals...friends, family, etc. and I am sure they would never have a sexual/romantic relationship with someone of the same gender. The same goes for gays and lesbians. If one sex or the other is truly your thing, you will not go against that. If a man who does have an attraction to women becomes attracted to another man, he is bisexual...not straight, not gay.
the only difference between a gay man & a str8 man izza sixpak
Well if they do good luck to them....Hell its hard enough for a straight woman to get a straight man.
and I resent that mark :
There will always be guys who wish girls were more into video games
OMG!! women DO play video games! some would rather be with a good video game then a man ....
oh
Didn't bother to read the entry, but I'm kinda not cool with that picturee thanks.
@just_the_average_jane@xanga - ammmmen!
gay guys are always the really cute and groomed ones. would they be open to a woman?
This is a good post. Hopefully, we see a new generation of open minded guys that isn't so restricted by this strict binary of sexual orientations.
I can't answer the question, but I will say this: If a person is truly straight, he/she wouldn't go for a gay person romantically. Friends, sure, but romantic relationship, no.
@Auxesis@xanga - I trully do agree with you. A lot of scientific research has shown that people´s sexual orientation change as they mature and grow. Basically almost all of the people in the world are bisexual, with only 10% percent being purely heterosexual and other 10% being purely homosexual. It´s so sad to see people let something so irrelevant like sexual orientation constrict them in such a way that they don´t dare to love or lust after a person just because they´re supposed to be "gay" or "straight".
I do not agree with your post at all... I highly doubt someday EVERYONE will want to be with the same-sex... it's just not going to happen... and I like it that way.
I'm not saying that being gay is bad but I just don't think that every single person is going to like the same sex...
anyways... I don't know if a gay guy has a shot with a straight man... the straight man will probably have to be drugged up or drunk to want to be with a gay guy lol... but then again he could want to experiment... which idk why he would considering he likes woman... but who knows.