I've recently come to realize that I'm not a romantic. At all. Whenever boys do anything romantic for me, it just makes me dislike them even more.
I'm not all that sentimental, either. I think I sometimes lack sensitivity. Don't get me wrong, I think it's sweet when guys do cute, little things for you. But for some reason, once a guy starts acting romantic, I just don't like him nearly as much. I've always liked boys who act like my friends. I just can't make myself like romantic things. It's really cute/sweet in movies...but not in real life, at least for me.
So recently, this really cute guy asked me to prom.
He's really nice, thoughtful, sweet, and quiet... but I sometimes I wish he'd never asked me and I could go alone. I used to have a crush on him... like a short-term (I-think-he's-cute) kind. I hardly ever talked to him because he was quiet (and still have barely talked to him), which is why I'm surprised that he asked me.
Most girls seem to think I'm lucky. During fourth period band, he had his other friend playing the piano (a really beautiful song) and he presented me with single red rose. He dressed up for the occasion too. He told me I was really special to him and then asked me to prom. It was all sweet. But secretly, I wanted to run. Romantic things just make me feel sick. I couldn't say no; all of his friends (and many of mine and random other people and band kids) were there. It's just too hard to say no to someone when over twenty people are watching...and especially after he went through all that work. And he's just so nice...and I wouldn't
mind going with him, I suppose.
It's not that I'm disgusted by the idea of going with him. I'm actually okay with it, for the most part. I just would have rather gone by myself or with my close girl friends.
I don't believe in love at first sight. And I have a feeling that the only reason he likes me is that he thinks I'm cute. His friend told me that he's "in love" with me (and has been for a couple years)... but I honestly don't see how that can be possible. He's really nervous around me, and so we never really talk much. But it's not that he's nervous around girls...just me. I don't understand how you can like someone that much without really knowing him or her. Maybe that's just the logical side of my brain talking.
Apparently he talks to his friends about me a lot (and has for two years). The weirdest thing is, I barely even knew him last year (I don't think I ever even talked to him...I just knew of him), which makes it obvious to me that he only likes me because of my appearance. That bothers me slightly, but I guess he knows me a little (from observing in class or whatever). The whole thing creeps me out a little. I feel horrible. I know that he really really really likes me, but at the same time, I'm wondering how that works.
How is it possible to like someone that much without really knowing him or her - without ever having talked to him or her for more than a minute?So I said yes to prom. But I feel guilty. I think he's nice and I'm slightly glad he asked me, but at the same time, I wish he hadn't. And the more I hear about his liking me, the less I like him. The more romantic things he does for me (flowers, cards, etc., which have happened), the less I like him. And the worst part is if he knew I didn't like him (or at least that I'm dreading the whole prom thing), it would really hurt him. And I don't want to do that.
Maybe I'm not a sensitive person. Maybe I'm just not meant for romance. Maybe I should just suck it up and go. I don't know. Help?
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Comments (45)
*gags*
Maybe he really does like you. He could have observed you while you were with your friends or doing something nice for someone else. Two years is a long time to like someone without ever really being acknowledged. Good luck! Have fun at prom!
you shouldn't MAKE yourself like something.
just find a guy you love and work it everything out if he's worth fighting for.(:
I'm the exact same way.
Also, I'd hate it if a guy did anything special to ask me to prom, and I'd hate it if they asked me publicly.
I'm the same exact way. I always find it somewhat cute in movies but if a guy does something romantic for me in real life, I just want to run away and avoid it. Haha
I think you think too much.
Don't date him.
I'm pretty much the same...except I like the idea of guys being romantic to me, but when it actually happens, it's like, umm...*run & hide*
Maybe thats your defense mechanism :o
wow you're complicated.
You should just relax and be happy that someone cares about you the way he does. you caught his eye and you are something special to him so just make the best out of it.
and as for not being romantic, it seems you have a wall up to protect yourself from getting hurt so whenever someone does something romantic you want to "run away". It's not worth it to live your life with a wall up all the time. you could miss out on something amazing!
I mean, it's okay to not be a sucker for really sweet things. It's not everyone's cup of tea. Or maybe you're not used to be people doing nice things for you? That's how I was, before my boyfriend. I didn't like when people were romantic or anything, I'd be like, ick. But, whenever my boyfriend does things that are romantic, I love it. I think I've found a happy medium with him - he's just the right amount of romantic :]
You said you'd go to the prom with him... not that you'd marry him.
If it's really bothering you, you need to make your feelings clear to him.
I'm the same way. Sweet things like that from men make me nauseated, and uncomfortable. I'm not sure what you should do in this situation, but I wanted ya to know you're not alone - though from a number of responses, it looks like you and I are in good company, being like this. Comforting, I think....
When I was in high school any sort of cute thing a guy did just looked forced. If they took me out on a date it was more than likely with their parents money and if they bought me some sort of stuffed animal it was most likely because their sister told them to. When you're your age it's different. Don't get me wrong, not too much time has passed since I felt uncomfortable about guys trying to do cute romantic things for me, but now I'm a few years into college and I'm entirely fine with it. My boyfriend of just a few months took me on our first date to an upscale vegan restaurant (I'm vegetarian) and I loved the gesture. A month or so later he got his first paycheck from his new job and decided to spend it on a nice date, complete with dressing up, a fancy dinner, and roses to top it all off.
Frankly had he been in high school and done this I would not have been impressed in any way. Really what's the point when you're that age? If you're like I was, you didn't want commitment and you knew that your relationships weren't going anywhere.
Don't overthink everything. Just go to prom with him (well, you said yes) and take things from there ... slowly.
If you find that the romance thing bugs you ... you can always stop. Do what you want. Don't do things to make himm happy.
I think we'd be perfect for each other then lol. I'm about as closed off as they come, I try but I fail. =/
If you're slightly glad that he asked you (which is better than not being happy at all) and you don't want to hurt him, then maybe you should just suck it up and go. And since the two of you aren't serious, you can treat the entire night as a way to hang out with all of your friends, while also including him.
Also, try to put yourself in his shoes. He clearly went through some trouble asking you to prom, and just trying to be a nice guy in general. While you don't have to love it, you could at least appreciate it by humoring him for a little while. Oh, and set your limits. Make it clear that you're not interested in a relationship with him, cos it seems like you aren't. And just try to have fun!
At your age, he doesn't know what love is (then again, I don't even someone 100 years old would know), but he most certainly only has a crush on you. He's built up a fantasy idea of what you are like in his brain that you can't possibly live up to in real life. Since he let it fester in himself for 2 years, it manifests itself now in these bizarre and borderline creepy displays of affection.
You're making this a bigger deal than it has to be. If you really don't like him, don't date him. Problem solved
having crushes on people you don't personally know is superficial. then again, it is usually appearances that attract people first, then comes the getting to know you part. there was this guy, who had a crush on me and I had no idea until he handed me this note that spilled his feelings for me. I was caught off guard since he sat behind me in class the entire year and I didn't notice him, but it did creep me out that he was probably secretly staring at me(and me wearing a lot of skin-tight shirts didn't help
) all the while, I had a crush on a different guy, who had no idea that I crushed on him. this must be that dreaded karma:bummer: so prom comes along and I wanted to go with my crush but he went with someone else. then this guy, who had the crush on me, persisted in pursuing me and we talked and he concluded that we had a lot in common and it was true but I didn't feel any chemistry on my part. he wasn't ugly, in fact tall and cute, just no vibe from me. he was also shy/sweet and so I decided to go to the prom with him since after a few convos, I did eventually started to like talking to him. I was never the romance type either but this poem that he wrote for me touched me along(I always cringed at those lovey things but I fell for it myself lol) and I guess I was very flattered that he adores me that much. we ended up going to the prom together just to see if there were any sparks, gave him a chance to see what may or may not happen. I still smile whenever I see the old prom pics that we took together even though we aren't a couple today. just another memorable experience. prom is a once in a lifetime sort of thing. at first I didn't want to go either because I was heartbroken that I didn't get to go with my own crush but all my friends went and I didn't want to miss out on taking that group pic with them. it is okay to go alone, too, but prom is more of a couples event with the slow dancing thing at end and you can always dance with friends but it is different. most of my female friends went with guys, who were "just friends" so maybe you should give him a chance and see what happens. if you still feel awkward, going alone or with a group of friends is alright as well. prom is about having fun anyways
Just let him know that you're not really into to romantic stuff. He'll understand.
Still give him a chance, keep an open mind about prom. After he backs off with the romantic stuff, you could end up having a really great time with him.
You're so lucky! I would say "Just give him a chance."
Awww he did all that for you, and you dont like? odd...Im the romantc type :D
dont think so much. it's only prom. go get to know him better before prom. dont sweat it
awww to be in high school again.
You know you can try to get to know him before prom comes around seeing that you are all ready set as his date.