Saturday, 25 April 2009
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WYD: Would You Date Someone Who Made Racist Remarks?
Let's say you meet someone incredible - this person is always kind to you, is polite and respectful and an incredible kisser . . . but every once in a while, he/she spouts off some incredibly racist remarks.
Would you date that person?
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Comments (98)
i wouldnt date him. if he really cared, then he would say racist remarks
so no
um depends. Lol me and my friends say racist remarks all the time but we're mostly kidding. Hah.
If the person was seriously racist or something though.... I don't think I could handle it.
No, if a person cares about me that's nice and all but it would say more to me that he cares about people.
If he can't respect all people as they are then there's nothing that says he won't be disrespectful of me, in the future.
I'm dating a person kind of like that now.
It's hard to deal with sometimes because my SO will see someone and say something derogatory... And I know I can't change the way he thinks/acts.
Nope. Actually I met a guy like that but he made racist remarks, which totally turned me off.
That really depends on whether or not she was actually racist. I say racist remarks at times but I don't really mean them, only as jokes. I am very close to a bunch of people from almost all ethnicities, from Native American, some Hmungs, Indonesians, Germans, I was dating a black girl for a while. As long as they don't actually mean the things I don't care, cause if my friends don't like her she might have to go, I value their opinions too much for some woman too mess it up.
It depends. If I tell him it makes me feel uncomfortable and explain why, and he continues to do it around me, then I'd drop him.
that would be a red flag for sure. I would try to see if they actually understand that what they're saying is racist first though and perhaps try to see if they will change.
@TakingxOverxMe@xanga - My friend dated someone like that. And sometimes he would make comments about her. After a while it really got to her self-esteem. Obviously, they didn't work out and she dropped him.
hell to the nah!
if its just playful stereotyping then its fine, but otherwise, no.
No way. Remarks like that, even in jest, are not funny at all. I tend to notice that people who make racist remarks dont like to get them either. If you dont like it when it's directed to you, then you shouldnt say them either
No. That is unacceptable.
I can meet a kind, polite, respectful, and incredibly kisser that DOESN'T say dumb, racist sh*t. Obviously if he has a habit of making racist remarks, it means he's not really all that respectful as he should be.
If someone you are dating is making racial remarks now and then, and treating it as humour, then this is your cue that there will be more to come over the years. Even if this person doesn't actually see themselves as being racist, it obviously makes you uncomfortable. Bring it up NOW, rather than later, like when you're married, and trying to drag your drunk Archie Bunker home from the office Christmas party after he's delivered his charming stand-up routine. :D
depends..coz weirdly my parents like spurring out racist remarks to each other ...(both of them are different races btw) Â but they do it like in playful way not really hurtful racist stuff..just lame stereotype stuff
It depends on the racist remark - how he uses it, how frequently, whether it's a joke or not... I'm all for poking fun at myself and my cultural background, but that doesn't give me the right to do it to others. Also, if he were "polite and respectful" I'd hope that he'd think twice before going off on some racist tangent.
yeah.. i know someone like that. my boyfriend. I don't let him get away with it though. He claims that he's just kidding, but when someone keeps repeating something over and over.. you kind of question that. So now he knows better than to say it in front of me.
it really depends. racist remarks are a nono, but to be honest i always make steryotypical jokes about myself, and i dont have a problem with it.
if it was someone that they knew and they were just joking i'm okay with it but if they are going to go and point out a random person and make racist remarks, thats a no no
"is polite and respectful" and making racist remarks does not fit.. i can over look a lot of things, but this is not one of them. no mater how awesome she might be.
Not if they were towards me.
Doubtful, as all my friends are of different races. It would be insulting to them and me.
Probably not. Wait....definitely not.
i was actually in a situation like this.
although it didn't turn out to be the the biggest problem in the end
i continued to date him, but if i had to do it over, i wouldn't because little things like that grow/add up with time.
Maybe he doesn't know that he's being racist, or maybe that it offends you...[which it obviously doesn't that much since he's still doing it, and you two are still together.] i think funny stereotype jokes are fine, but even those are only fine SOMETIMES. not every day all the time. tell him to lay off...it's definitely a turn-OFF.