Thursday, 23 April 2009

  • How Soon Is Too Soon to Say "I Love You"?

    So I've been official with my boyfriend for almost two months now, although we have been friends for a few months longer than that. Though I was seeing somebody else when we first met, I have never been as happy as I am with him. We hang out daily, can talk about pretty much everything, and have all kinds of fun and random adventures. Basically, it's a dream.

    Having never been in a "serious" relationship before, I wasn't (and am still) not sure exactly what love should feel like. I think I am in love with him, but I don't know if it is a faux-pas for a girl to say it first. He's naturally quite shy, so I'm not sure if he feels the same way (I think he does) but is afraid to speak up. I'd be willing to say it first, but I don't want to do it too early!

    How soon did you and your SO say those three words? How soon is too soon? 

Comments (87)

  • Lauren_Vogue@xanga

    While I believe that there should be no set "time limit" for when you say "I love you".. two months is a little soon.

    It's your first serious relationship so there will be a lot of new feelings. You may be feeling something you have never felt before, and may certainly love this person... but I would be a little cautious with "in love" for the time being.

    While they can be impossibly beautiful, those three little words can also complicate a relationship.

    Give it time. Enjoy these feelings right now without adding the pressure of "I love you". 

    When it's really time, you'll know.

  • walkintotheseaaa@xanga

    We were less than a month in, and he said it first.  Our relationship started with such build-up and anticipation that we got to that point pretty fast.


    Two years and three months in, all is well. :)

  • HeavenlyDeath85@xanga

    You should say " I Love You" when you feel the time is right. There really is no too early or too late! My husband & I were just friends for the 1st year we knew each other, but we told each other we loved each other threw the whole 1st year. You'll know when the time is right. Good luck!

  • AznAngel29@xanga
    Mmm... spicy

    My boyfriend said it to me exactly a month after we started dating.. it was at a park too i still remember all the details...I would say it doesn't matter how long you've guys been dating but you guys feel about each other.. However, I have to say I don't think  a girl should say it first just because sometimes a guy gets scared.. because most girls can't help it we get too devoted when we love someone... 

  • SWEETxN0VEMBER@xanga

    saying i love you has no time frame on it. every relationship is different and every person is equally different. my bf told me he loved me within the first month we started and he patiently waited for me to say those words back. we now been together 1year, 1 month, and counting. =}

    just say it when you feel it's right and you are ready to say it.

  • AnonymousBlonde@xanga

    It took me and my ex about two weeks to tell each other that we loved each other.  He said it first because I was too nervous to say it, afraid that he would think I was rushing it or that he didn't feel the same way.  Our relationship lasted over two years, so it's not like saying it that early on ruined anything for us.

    Do it when you're comfortable and you definitely know how you feel.  You know better than us what you're feeling, so go with your gut and say it at a time when you think it'll be reciprocated or just when it feels right.

  • pillowpixies@xanga

    Well, in my opinion, the time to say "I love you" is when you're absolutely sure that you do love them. You say that you think you're in love with him. Well, you don't sound one hundred percent sure about it. If I were you I'd look at how I feel really closely. Nobody is going to tell you whether you're in love or not, nobody can, except for you. Everyone feels different when they're in love.

    Me and my boyfriend told each other that we loved one another less than an hour after we went into our official relationship. We'd been best friends for years, and we both had feelings growing for one another for quite some time; so it was evened out.

    Tell him that you love him when the time is right, in your opinion. Tell him when you're as sure about your feelings as you possibly can be. Just go with the flow, basically.

    As for when it's "too soon" to say that you love someone.. I'd say that a month into the relationship is too soon. At that point, not everyone can actually understand whether they love the other person or not. Two months is a little better. It really depends on the people in the relationship, and how fast their feelings grow. Everyone is different.

  • harmonyminusmelody@xanga

    i told my girlfriend i loved her after 2 months. it was on the fourth of july under the fireworks. i had been in many relationships previous but had never felt like i did with her, so i knew it was love: absolutely, 100%. there was no doubt in my mind. our 2 year anniversary is in a few weeks and we couldn't be happier. :)

  • solidsnake8462@xanga

    I haven't said it to my currently GF. It's been a year. Say it when you know you mean it. Not because that's how the moment is, or you think you do. Say it when you know you don't have any other words for it. 

  • Coughdrop_Chewer321@xanga

    exactly a month after he asked me out, and we ' re going to be a year this saturday =] 

  • DontLetGoOfMyHeart@xanga

    say I love you when you feel it in your heart; just make sure you always mean it.

  • XxdawnwillnevercomexX@xanga

    the best thing is that there's a crazy big difference between loving someone and being in love with them.  that is madd good.

  • tutorgirl013@xanga

    it will totally depend on how you define love.


    my definition is indescribable. you never want to be without him and when you're with him you can't stop smiling and giggling.


    i've been ating my bf for almost 4 months and i said it to him first at 3 months or so. i cherish the words because  i know the meaning gets so cliche in the world today. but once you know you haven't felt that way before after a few months or so, you get the concept.

  • chayswag@xanga

    First time around in a serious relationship, he said it about two weeks in, and was thrown off by it, but said it back, even though I didn't mean it.


    Aaaand then I started believing what I was saying, and then he broke my heart :)
    But now with someone totally different; someone amazing. And it's definitely a serious relationship, we're moving in together in a few short months, we're engaged/pre-engaged (bahaha), and we're absolute best friends. I hadn't known him at all, but we clicked instantly, and he told me he loved me two months into it (same night, he asked me to marry him. Who'da thought it would actually be so close to happening.), and now we're going on eleven months.
    Here's one thing, though- let the guy say it first. 
  • superGchik@xanga

    there really is no time frame, you just sort of know and the feeling just develops but when you feel it, you'll know that it's real.  mine was instantaneous, i took a long time to actually come to terms that i loved this person, almost a year.  i just believe that after a year, if you love a person, you know that you want to spend a little more time with this person and get serious between that year, but if it's more than a year and you're still not serious then there's no reason you should waste someone's time and especially yours.

  • music_of_the_heart08@xanga

    My guy said it after a little over three months, and I reciprocated. =)


    Probably in my next relationship, if I don't marry my current guy, I'll set a sixth month rule because I know how relationships work now. Although I do love my man, I love him even more now than I did back then. I know it's more real now. Like you, he was my first real relationship, and I'm sure I got a little carried away.


    Those first feelings were just "in love" feelings, not yet "love." Now a year and three months later, I know the real meaning of love. I don't regret saying it so early, because I knew how I felt. But I definitely wouldn't rush it. Take it slow, there's plenty of time to say those words. ;)

  • RandomnessRox36@xanga

    Well my boyfriend and I had been good friends for 7 months, and actually told each other the day before we started dating, we both came out of bad relationships, but we knew that we truly do love each other.

  • raved@xanga

    There isn't a set time, just be sure that you mean it when you say it.

    My boyfriend and I told each other after 4 months, I believe. We've been together for over 3 years.

  • laurenmaureen@xanga

    we said i love you since day one. but then again, we've known each other for a year and a half and had already tried the relationship thing once, so we kinda knew each other well enough. it's going good so far :)

  • revolveloverocknroll22@xanga

    My SO has been trying to tell me that for a while, but it's only been a month since we met here, so I say "Not yet!" every time he does

  • tigerdauphin@xanga

    You don't sound certain.  I don't think it's love, not yet anyway.  If it's real love, it doesn't matter when.  Just say it if you feel it - but don't forget that there is a whole myriad of feelings in between "like" and "love."

    Can you "more than like" your SO but "not yet love"?  YES!!!!!

  • GaMeGurLsH@xanga

    No time is too early or too late to say it as long as you mean it...well except on the first date. With my current beau, I said it half year in and I said it first. Took him a month longer but he got there LOL.

  • a_single_raindrop@xanga

    My boyfriend said it about two weeks after we started dating? I'd known him for almost a year. I told him .. "thank you" haha and then a few weeks later he told me "i'm not getting off the phone until you say you love me" ... I think I did say it. Not sure.


    But yeah, he said it soon and I didn't say it again until I felt ready. To this day (almost three yrs later) he'll tell me he loves me. :)

  • lolquack@xanga

    My boyfriend and I were telling each other we love each other before we were dating
    We both just got out of serious relationships
    we didn't wanna JUMP into an official relationship to be announced to the world until everything was died down with drama of our ex's

    My boyfriend and I been only dating 2 months
    Been living together for 5.
    known each other for 4 years.

  • ixeatxrainbows@xanga

    i told my bf that i thought i was falling for him about a month and a half in (my first serious relationship, too) and a few weeks after that, he told me he loved me. after that, we both acknowledged that what we were feeling wasn't real love yet (saying "i love you" is a little easier than saying "i really really like you and think i might possibly love you a little" haha), and that as our time together increased, so would our feelings for each other. my feelings for him have definitely become more deep over the last year and a half, lol :)

  • Sign in to Comment

  • Give eProps (?)

About the Author

Who recommended?

Who gave the eProps?

2 eProps from: