Thursday, 23 April 2009
-
Nothing Compares to Your First Love
At 14, as a freshman, I only thought of what love was; in middle school people just say, "I love you" to their boy/girlfriends and mutual friends. Then there was the common, "I said that I love you; I'm just not in love."But my goodness, it hit me like a freight train. Better yet, this wasn't a normal friend; it was my best friend that I had fallen in love with. Sure it happens, but it's hard enough telling the person. Everyone fears ruining the friendship.
How did I know that I was in love? I just knew it. He was always there, we always talked. When I first met him, he wasn't considered the best-looking guy in the world, but to me he was. I hung out with him, and then somehow, he got to me. The more we talked the more I was falling. I kept myself occupied; I joined clubs, activities, even a college prep just to get him out of my mind. I thought about him day and night, dreaming of what we could be. I woke up, my heart ached for him. Hell, I even wrote a story about us; it was beautiful. I'm soon posting it on my blog.
We didn't meet often, but when we did I would get all dolled up and plan ahead. It tore me apart when we didn't talk or when he was talking about another girl. He always teased me in ways that hurt, but even after teasing I still loved him, and he always looked out for me. I still couldn't tell him what I thought. Part of my heart wanted to. I longed to see him, but fearing of the way things could become and what he would think of me, I kept it inside.
Time passed, either he was busy or I was. Occasionally I would write letters to tell him what I couldn't in person, but even words couldn't express the way I felt. I tried to hide it, but beamed when people complimented us, or talked about him. Everything I did, I thought was for him. I couldn’t really concentrate on work because he was everywhere. He was everything I wanted: my one guy to truly show off.
Just the other day, my friend asked me why I still was talking about him. I simply said. "Nothing could compare to your first true love. You always keep them in your heart." Things I see still remind me and make me smile. I looked up to the sky and wonder: Will I ever feel this feeling again? Will I ever tell him? But only the Lord and time knows. When it's destiny, it'll tell us.
What was your experience with first, real love like? Do you agree that nothing compares to that first time?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: xx_ng_xx@xanga
- Name: Amie
- About Me: I'm a college freshman at UCSD and will be a transferred sophomore at Columbia fall of 2012 with their Air Force ROTC. I love playing the guitar. I sail, and I swim. I love traveling and enjoying the little things in life.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 1839 Comments: 0 96 View all posts by xx_ng_xx@xanga
Comments (42)
I've been experiencing love for the first time since December. It's pretty amazing <3
I used to think that but I don't believe it anymore. I think each relationship teaches us something and in each relationship we love differently because we are different people, we change. With my first real relationship, I gave myself to him and he was basically my first everything and he was the first I "loved" and I was heartbroken when he broke up with me. But then I met someone else and fell EVEN MORE in love with him, it didn't even compare to my "first love". I lasted so much longer with the second "love" and I came to believe that he was the love of my life. We recently just broke up and I'm hoping that the next guy I will be with, I'll be even more in love and will experience the REAL thing. You can be in love with many people but when you're with the RIGHT one, you know it's unlike any other love you have felt in your life. So I'm still waiting on that.
I think you'll always remember your first love but comparing to it then and now with someone else that you love, it is different. When people ask me if I would ever go back in time and experience "my first love" all over again, I tell them, "No." I had my first love when I was 15 and over the years, I grew, mature, fall in and out of love, and when I think about it, "Was I really in love with that person or was I just too emotionally involved with him?" I wasn't comfortable with him. I couldn't speak my mind to him. I was afraid to be myself around him. Was that really true love? Or did I just consider it true love because it didn't end like I wanted it to? I wonder a lot about that sometimes.
I don't agree with that. My first love was so special, but pales in comparison to my current relationship. I keep all my past crushes and relationships dear to my heart, but the love I feel for my current boyfriend surpasses anything I've ever felt towards those early boyfriends.
The first time is amazing, but it's no better or worse. The 2nd (and 3rd, etc) are amazing as well, they're just different from the first.
It's like comparing apples and oranges, really.
I'll always remember my first love. It ended badly but we had some amazing times. I don't think about him anymore except the good memories. I am in a relationship where I'm hoping it'll last until the day we both die.
@GaMeGurLsH@xanga - You took the words right out of my mouth.... except I would replace "him" with "her".
Nothing really does compare considering my first real love abused and destroyed me. Hurrah for bouncing back, I suppose.
its kinda funny when ur inlove for the first time, u put so much details to evrything the person does/reacts to u. sometimes im afraid ill never get that feeling anymore. u go through so much heart breaks as u get older and it makes u wonder when u find the right person in the future would u still feel giddy, excited, and feel the things u would feel like the first time u were inlove. iono...u might end up loving someone more realisticly as compared to the whole dreaming and the whole wonderfullness that comes with that. then ur kinda limiting urself to how much u show that person...iono.im talking crap rite now
im glad your first love was special and that memorable you would write about it and actually remember (lol) but mine wasnt. i mean it was alright but it wasnt special or anything. my second relationship/boyfriend was more memorable.
Agreed.
The feeling just won't go away. With my past boyfriends, I couldn't help but just compare the two together. Apparently, I haven't moved on - Yet.
LOL My first love...LOL!!
A whole lot of things compare to him!
I'm still with my first boyfriend :)
I think it's different for everybody. Some remember their first as the best or some remember it as the worst. *shrugs*
idk ... i kind of feel like i'm dating my "first" love now ... i mean, i dated somebody before, but didnt feel very serious, and i was best friends with my current bf even before that one. so. i mean, its pretty awesome. but as for how it would compare to other relationships if we broke up? well... i kinda hope we dont, i'm kinda liking him a bit.
thanks God my first love ended...
unforgettable thing..sure..but I wouldn't repeat it...I felt so silly then...
I think for guys especially, they will always remember their first love.
My first love crushed my heart. I can't wait for a new one. I'm sure the last love, i.e. the one that will lead to my getting married, will be better.
I'll never forget my first love. We dated for two years, he was one year older than me & my parents didn't like it for a while, but who cares, we just clicked & made it happen. He was my best friend & my first boyfriend, he actually showed me that not all guys are the same. We broke up five months ago, we parted on bad terms & he moved 3000 miles away from me. We haven't talked ever since, but I know that one day we will & by then, the feelings will hopefully be gone. I don't think you can compare anything to your first true love, it's just an amazing thing, really.
First love is definitely different. It's not quite the same as anything else, but it's definitely not... the best.
I'm still waiting on my first love.
Don't pity me. I've been pretty diligent about weeding out the infatuating girls/flings. It's a tough life.
yes, nothing compares to your first love. I fell in love with person I should have never fallen in love with. I had more hard times than good times. I sometimes wish...wait ALWAYS wish I never met him...I would've been a completely different person. I've only been in love once...still am...I find it impossible to love again (wow so emo lol). I hope that if I do fall in love again...it won't hurt as much as my first love.
I know I'll always remember him..totally sucks
Wish I had Lacuna right about now.
Well I'm still with my first love now, so...I'm not sure what to say. But I'm sure that I'll never forget him. <3
omg...my first love is something that i don't think anyone can replace, but i will never do over again. it was both good and bad. i was right out of high school and i met this guy who just graduated from college, of course, we were both of age, but i met him through some family friends. he was gorgeous, smart and so quick wit, he can talk you into doing just about anything and he would make your frown into a smile. i was never the person to say that i was in love with anyone, i dated in high school, but never really cared about if i was in love or not because the relationship only lasted until i was bored with him then i would break up with him and go to the next guy but with D, he was different. he was older, and he knew all the right words to say to me. and my first time was with him. so my first love was not only just first love but also first time. we dated for about one year and i told him that i loved him and he said it back to me. he moved out of state after a year we were together because of his job, but still close enough to go see him at least 2 times a month or he'll come home. our time apart drew us apart. we would always argue and then he would apologize with an extravagant gift for me when he came to see me. and he would always said i love you without really meaning it. after 2 and 1/2 years, i finally called it quits and picked up my things from his flat and went back home. he was always promising me things, but never really living up to it. he would forget about me sometimes even if i was sitting next to him. his career became his number 1 priority. after we broke up, we were always off and on seeing each other and eventually one day, i met someone new and he was different from D. but being with D, i was so lonely even though he was sitting next to me working. my fiance now hates D a lot because he says that D took a lot from me that he can't have, but i would never do that relationship over again. i'm glad that i met D and we shared a lot of things, but i'm glad that it's over now and that i have my fiance
there will always be a place in our heart for first love...
haven't had it yet. not particularly eager to.