Miss Reindeer You like that alliteration? So suffice it to say, March 2009 was probably the most craptacular month of my entire life. The biggest contribution to that was being dumped by someone I thought I was going to love forever and vice versa. I was pretty much a zombie for a while. I fell into the whole cliche of not eating, not sleeping, not smiling and basically feeling like the biggest piece of crap to ever walk the planet. Every song on the radio and every sappy commercial on TV made me sad. I was pleased, however, to find that I had no appetite instead of engorging in nightly sessions with Ben and Jerry. I was also pleased to find that I got my booty to the gym each night to think about something else for a change.
Once my appetite resurfaced I said that I would be damned if I put that weight back on and I hit the gym even harder.
I started to feel pretty good and then I found out that my car needed a new transmission that would cost me over a thousand big ones. That was only the beginning of my car troubles that seemed to build up with each passing day. Followed by big time job troubles. Followed by being pulled over by the police for some bogus moving violation, to which I tearfully begged that lady cop for mercy. Luckily, I escaped that situation relatively unscathed. But you better believe the minute I saw those lights in the rearview mirror, I cried my little eyes out in shock. Why was all of this happening at one time?
Then I decided to pick myself up and just get it TOGETHER already. I've never been the type of woman to let a guy define my life, and I've certainly never been the Negative Nancy I was becoming. Between going out with my friends every weekend and going to the gym like crazy, I feel and look great, possibly better than I ever have. It's amazing what losing 20 pounds (
healthfully with diet and exercise) can do for a gal in her time of need. My friends obviously also majorly contributed to my inevitable reviving. I've reconnected with people I haven't seen in a while, I've made some new friends as well (quite possibly the perfect rebound, but more on him in another post) and I've made big plans for the summer before I head off to grad school. It's looking up, people!
How did you bounce back from your breakup? Did you rely a lot on your friends and family? What kind of things did you do to get your life back on track?
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Try and say that three times fast.
After my closest ex and I broke up, I just started devoting a ton more time with my friends and the tennis club that I was involved with at college. I was also able to pick up hobbies and skills that I've been putting off, such as reading books and learning how to string rackets. Those were rather useful distractions!
Hmm now that I think about it, the byproduct of being single lead me to write in my Xanga more haha.
It totally involves friends, and ice cream, and nurturing yourself with whatever makes you feel good about yourself. In the past, I've distracted myself. Made myself really busy with school & clubs & social events, etc.
unfortunately im still in that hole...sometimes i feel ok and other days i cant get it out of my head.Im not really doing anything to fix myself ( which i guess is bad). School works been keeping me busy so I try to stay at school as late as possible bc my room makes me sad. I wish I could go the gym too and make use of myself, but my school workload is not allowing me right now so Im just delaying my healing time till the summer. My cousin's coming back from college and we planned on having a girl's summer fun filled adventure
Damn that's really good that you were able to be productive and such. I guess for me it just depends on how much I had put into the relationship. Cause if I've put in a lot it's usually a lot harder for me to let go, and I tend to wallow in self pity for a bit. Otherwise I also like to reconnect with friends and go out and find things that make me happy.
I rely on God to get me through and my friends.
I commend you for bouncing back. Who says you have to be weak and powerless? I have recently gone through a break-up as well, except in my case, it was mutual but it still hurt; in addition to that, someone close to me died not too long after the break up happened. Suddenly, I found myself having to deal with all sorts of emotions, and I had the same thought as you: "Why is everything happening all at once?" I turned to my best friend for comfort and support, and as counterintuitive as it seemed, I turned to my ex-boyfriend as well (I figured he would understand about the passing of my grandmother--after all, we remained friends after the break-uip). But they could only do so much. I found myself alone most of the time to deal with all the pain. I decided that it was up to me to put myself and my life back together again and that I don't really need anyone's reassurance to convince me that things will be okay. I had to convince myself of that.
And by the same token, I'm so glad you didn't let yourself go and that you saw the bigger picture. Besides, there can't be a better time to re-connect with old, forgotten friends than now, and this is the best time to focus on you and do the things you've been putting off to the side.
I'm in this process right now. I've been hitting the gym and eating healthier which helped me lose weight and makes me happy. I started picking up new hobbies as well as working on the ones I have been pushing aside. I also started focusing on school again and planning for my future. I try to spend time with friends and family. I'm even in the process of making new friends and being more social.
I will say I do rely on my friends and family. They have helped me vent out and refocus on the things that really matter.
I actually just got out of a relationship where the guy cheated on me and had another gf of four and half years i didn't know about! i was devestated. he was saying how he wanted to marry me and such but little did i know he was planning on proposing to the other girl also.
me and the other girl have become close. we always talk to eachother and bash the loser we both dated haha
i myself have gone to the gym more and lost alot of weight probably from not eating. i think i look alot better. thats why when you see celebrities going thru breakups they come out looking better.
i just make myself realize that relationships end for a reason. i was always stressed that he had some other chick on the side. i no longer have to stress about that anymore.
but one thing i learned is that your destiny is never tied to anyone that left! go out and meet someone who is worth your time and shows you they love you!
I'm also in this process.... My last relationship ended about a month ago. At first I cried a lot and lost my appetite, and couldn't focus on school or anything... and I think I bordered on crazy ex when I showed up at his room and started crying (luckily this only lasted a week... this was my first ex that lived SO CLOSE and I saw everyday, I didn't really know how to handle it)... So, what did I do? I also went to the gym a lot... hm... 2 or so hours a day... and I lost my appetite, and lost about five pounds in a week, which did make me feel pretty good. I was able to take up my flute again after five years of not playing, have started singing in choir again, and have tried to get out whenever I could.
Last weekend I intentionally went somewhere where we had no memories and did something completely different than anything I've done since I've been in NY... It's been rough, though, because his friends are also my friends... And, I see him constantly. Unfortunately, though, I've also been going through the crappy part where everything else is going wrong... My grades have been sucking and I've been having foot problems from running more frequently... I love to run, so this is really depressing.
I don't really cry anymore though, definitely not in front of him, and my appetite is back with a vengeance, so I am getting somewhere :)
Thank you so much for this post! I am going through something similar. Luckily we never offically were a couple, but I really liked him. I am exercising a lot more, and focusing on what will make me a better person. I wish you all the best!
I had the same experience as you " I was pretty much a zombie for a while. I fell into the whole cliche of not eating, not sleeping, not smiling and basically feeling like the biggest piece of crap to ever walk the planet. Every song on the radio and every sappy commercial on TV made me sad." It was non-human. My everday life was the same back then. And the worst part was when we bumped into each other in the mall, and he was with his girlfriend. I acted all happy, and wished them good luck, i felt horrible after......
But I believe that time will heal your broken heart.... :D good luck
I'm still stuck with the bad breakup.. I'm getting through it, though. I have my days though, you know the good & then the really bad ones. After the break up five months ago I was pretty devastated and didn't know what to do as it was my first relationship & a serious one,too, (two years) & he was my first love. I cried for weeks and then started to come out of the little hole I dug by hanging out with my friends more. My friends were really a great help and didn't mind me running to them at random hours.. my family was close with my ex's family so they were a bit devastated, too. As in the whole "you guys were perfect for each other" & "what did you do, sonia?" Maybe that's why I always tried to get out of the house, even now. They stopped after a while even though they knew it was because he moved away and just shoved his feeling to the side & broke up with me. But yeh.. I guess I'm much more better now, I actually try to concentrate in school & have been doing a bit better compared to when we first broke up where I couldn't concentrate at all in school or anywhere/anything, really.
What are your big plans for the summer? And dude.. I like.. bottomed out. My depression came in a huge great wave, and it killed me. Haha. I just moped about for days. It inspired me to write and draw. I began to try and meet new friends and hang out with them to help pull myself out of it. And prayers to Christ did much help. :) I was so thankful He was there when I had no one else, really, you know?
Breaking up can be hard to do,
~*Akarui Mitsukai*~
@BabyRowanPaige@xanga - Great thing to do. It'd be rough without Him, amen?
@akarui_mitsukai@xanga - Amen!
congrats =D
It will take time, but I think it's important to start focusing on yourself and it allows you to really work on whatever goals you had set for yourself.
First time I got dumped.
I became the most depressing person alive.
My life went shittier after that
So No. =(
hitting the gym, going out and meeting new people :)
I Recently went through the same thing. I just hung out with friends and dated a little. I also worked extra shifts and started playing video games and blogging a whole lot more. I did whatever I could to just keep myself busy. The worst is sitting at home with nothing to do. You'll find something that reminds you of Him or see something on facebook...::sigh:: Definitely have to stay busy...
I went through the same thing with my last breakup. I didn't want to get out the house, couldn't eat or sleep.. I just wanted to stay in bed all day. I got even more depressed when school was postponed due to a union strike, so I wasn't able to occupy myself with anything.
But eventually I wanted to take better care of myself because I didn't want to waste any more of my time thinking about my ex. So I did more things that I enjoyed, hung out with my friends, reconnected with old friends, and just basically did things that boosted my self-esteem. It really helped because I'm in a happier place right now in my life than before and I've definitely grown and learned from the experience.
let's see when i broke up with this one person in my life, i felt like my life was going to be over because if i saw my friends, he would be there too when we hung out, so it was harder than normal. but for me to get over really tough situations, i just have to keep myself busy with work, hang out with my closest friends and family members. the breakup took me about 6 months to get over. i didn't really date anyone between those 6 months, i would occasionally go out with my friends to go clubbing or drinking but nothing that would remind me of my ex and i or our relationship. after a while, the feelings of being down because the relationship was over started to diminished slowly. though it hurt a little bit after the 6 months when i ran into him with another girl but i moved on and just smiled and pretended like i didn't care and then i met my now fiance who i absolutely adore. i wasn't planning on meeting anyone and being with anyone. it's funny because i just ran into him a few months back and he's not with anyone and i mentioned to him that i found someone and we're getting married and he was so shocked to find that out.
it's going to get better, trust me, but mourn as much as you need, hate him as much as you can, be angry and let all that anger come out so you can move on. love will find you when you at least expect it.
I basically cried it out, Â lost a lot of weight from not eating, Â was up all night, slept all day, dropped in school. Â Then a few months later I decided, enough is enough, and found myself a better man ;) hahahaÂ
My bounce back? Friends and some family... but MOSTLY Marlboro Reds, hockey-playing rebound boy that was amazing in bed, start of school, and new jobs. It took me six months or so, actually, but if I can do it, so can you!
I would just say don't feel stupid if you start feeling sad about it all over again on certain days. I did at first, but now I realize it's all part of the process.