Monday, 20 April 2009
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I Visited My GF Secretly; Her Parents Caught Us...Now What?
My girlfriend lives in another country, and I went to visit her secretly without our parents' knowledge. Our parents are okay with us dating, but they believe we are too young to publicly announce it to everyone, so they want to keep things under wraps, which means my NOT going to see her too often. So, one night while I was there with her, we were walking down a road and her parents randomly drove by and spotted us in their car. The car slowed, but we saw them and ran.
Now, they are pretty sure they have seen us and are shocked; they haven't confronted us yet, but they have dropped hints to my GF. They aren't talking to her, they sometimes call her a liar, etc. What we don't know is whether they know we saw them as well. For the time being, we are pretending as if we have no idea what they are upset about.
Now I'm back home, but we are in a situation where we have no idea how to get out of it. How do we get out of this mess and make them think it was not us they saw?!? She was supposed to be in lectures - whoops.
I'm pretty sure her parents will be calling sometime soon and having a word with me and my parents *gulp*.
Please please please, we are in desperate need of any guidance. By the way, telling the truth is not even an option unless we're asking to be murdered.
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About the Author
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- From: sighbeans@xanga
- Name: reema
- About Me: don't erase my love ( :
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Comments (53)
"Hey, can you keep a secret? I have a girlfriend."
This whole situation is just stupid. Good luck.
So you'll get in trouble for this, even though your parents are okay with the two of you dating? Hm. Well, firstly, you should probably come clean to at least your parents, and have your girlfriend come clean to hers. Probably the safest route. That way, they find out from you, not anyone else. It'll get you in the least amount of trouble.
so what country are you in and what country is she in? if you guys live in different places, i don't think it even matters. i mean they already know that you 2 are in a relationship right? so why is it a problem if you 2 see each other at all cuz you don't get to see each other much anyways xD i have a boyfriend who lives in another state. it's a 6 hour drive. we've been dating for almost 3 months now and i've seen him once so far and stayed with him for 5 days ^^ it was the best 5 days of my life and i was just so happy. fuck ppl who say you're too young to be in a relationship or in love. just follow your heart and do what makes you happy and just do what oyu gotta do to get things your way in life. i'm not sure how to help you out in this situation, all i wish for is the best of luck to you 2 ^^ show your parents who's boss !
what the hell are you talking about?
Your story makes no sense.
You went all the way to another country to visit a girlfriend?
Then I suppose you're old enough to be able to.
If you're old enough to travel to another country on your own then I do not see how your parents would care if you and your girlfriend were seen together.
Anyways, they haven't done anything yet. Don't sweat.
And what can they really do anyways?
"We saw you and your girlfriend together."
SHOCK!
You're stressing for no reason.
if ur in canada and she is in the USA or vis versa then your old enough to travel via plane or driving (+16 yrs old) then you need to grow up and tell them. they already knwo ur together and its not like they caught u two ahving sex in the car. end it and move so you guys can just have an open relationship in public w/o hiding.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - agreed.
what the fuck? hahahahaha
im sorry i just had to laugh.
keeping stuff like this a secret neverrrr works. ever. it always some how comes out n it bites hard.
good luck.
yawn.
if you didn't sleep with her yet, you're okay, just tell the truth and face the consequences of sneaking around. be mature about it.
either way, you're doomed!
good luck lol
"By the way, telling the truth is not even an option unless we're asking to be murdered."
If you didn't have anything to be guilty about, you wouldn't have run. You are apparently adult enough to go against your parents' wishes. You are therefore adult enough to deal with the consequences of your boneheaded actions and strike out on your own. Whose life are you gonna lead -- the one you want, or the one they want for you?
The days of parents dictating your life went the way of the dodo the day you were old enough to buy your own plane ticket/cross country boundaries to sneak off with your girlfriend in a stupid and easily-discoverable place like a public street.
Since you two lied to them already and telling them the truth is not an option, just keep on lying and denying that you weren't there until this issue gets old and disappear.
I mean, what else is there to do???
@jeezshoua@xanga - Surprisingly, that tactic really can work. xD
But I'm as lost as everyone else- this makes no sense.
Well, you ran away, so that's a tell-tale sign that you saw them...and I'm assuming her parents aren't clueless, so that probably means they know. All you can hope for is her parents forgetting about the incident, because you're not going to tell them. There's really not much else you can do, unless you want to move to Antarctica or something...
But really, would they be that angry? They're "okay" with you dating, but not okay with the two of you being in public. I think that just means they're not okay with it. Keeping the two of you as far apart as physically possible might just be a way of letting you think they're being cool, while they're really freaking out. =/
As always, I'm voting for the tell-the-truth option, even though it's not there. Good luck!
If you're over 12 I think you should be allowed to see each other publicly. That's just stupid. Seeing as your girlfriend was supposed to be in lectures, it sounds like she's in college or university. You two are surely old enough to be dating publicly. Your parents are messed up.
"I went there to help her through a crisis" .. ?
Tell your parents the truth ... and you can incorporate all the "i care about her" and "i love her" and "she needed me" into it (because you are the guy?)
Anyway, just tell your parents the truth. And hopefully she'll tell hers.
HAHAHAHAHA
yes that was a very bitchy move
but that's just too damn bad. you know that this will never work right. the whole "let's keep it a secret." just saying that phrase works against your relationship. if both sets of parents are "okay" with you dating then what's the issue? so tell the truth otherwise you'll get your asses kicked in the end
Not to be rude but am I to take "we are too young to publicly announce it to everyone, so they want to keep things under wraps" as one of us is underage or of a different race and people will talk/or I could go to jail?
I feel like there's some important info being omitted here because otherwise you being that afraid of being caught sounds like you two as well as her parents are overreacting. And how can you afford to sneak off to see someone in another country?? Thats probably related to my first statement though, huh.
oh secrecy.
I hate it.
Had to deal with it myself. Either way things wont be too easy at first. But in the long run just be honest, be you, they'll get over it.
If they dont?
Well damn we only live once.
@Jubilantlaughter@xanga - I agree. Based on the title I thought for sure the this was going to be about their parents catching them in bed not taking a walk. lol
I'd wait it out. You don't know for CERTAIN if they know it was you with her, right? So maybe she could come clean about skipping lectures, but she doesn't have to come clean about the fact that she was with you. As for you, you might be able to get away with nothing but a slap on the wrist--from yourself. Take this and learn from it. If your parents don't want you to see each other yet, then just wait until they will let you. I'm guessing it's worth the wait, if it's worth the risk of getting caught traveling to another country for her behind both of your parents' backs, right?
Just see how it goes. Neither of you should even bring it up to your parents if the truth really does amount to "asking to be murdered".Good luck!
how old are you?
1. You're old enough to get a plane ticket but not old enough to publicly announce a relationship?
2. Why can't you publicly announce your relationship? There's something missing here.
3. How small is the place she lives? Unless the parents were following you two, I find it a slim chance that they would miraculously drive right past the two of you.
Maybe you're both over reacting. Maybe the parents actually didn't notice you. Maybe they weren't even her parents. Though if you're acting as odd as you seem to be, the parents will question the both of you. Play it cool. Don't panic about it. Since telling the truth seems like such a bad idea, just play it cool.
Since nobody can possibly understand this situation (It IS pretty weird, mind you.) there's obviously a good amount of stuff not being told here. So.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - I like you!
But hey, tell the truth. Liars are unacceptable.
@Angelina_Everlong@xanga - Haha, thank you! I try to be likeable.
to elaborate a bit, he lives in england and i live in canada. long story short: our parents found out we were going out and they were, on both sides, fine with it. most likely because we are in different countries. now the culture bit comes in. the whole "we are too young to date" thing is bs, but surprisingly, a whole load of people, especially of our culture, seems to think that. now, it may sound stupid because it's our relationship, not theirs. but you wouldn't believe the amount of retaliation that comes from just announcing to one family member that we are dating.
but yes, the story. he managed to come see me because he lives on campus, and simply said he was still going to school while really, he was here in canada with me. everything was going smoothly, but as karma would have it, the parents HAD to see us on his last day here. although it was quite dark since it was at night, so we are betting on that to try to save us. thus, we are stuck in a big big rut. although they say they are okay with it, they simply don't want people knowing. while we have no problem telling anyone, because it doesn't really make a difference to our relationship.