We've posted a couple entries lately about drugs and alcohol straining relationships. But I don't think we've done an entry about specific instances you will and absolutely won't put up with.
I'll start. I would not date a regular smoker. It's disgusting, I don't like the way people inherently become slaves to their addiction of choice and I've seen the long term effects of smoking on people. Do not want.
I also absolutely won't tolerate prescription drug abuse for fun. I knew people in college that liked to get fucked up on Vicodin that they'd stolen from their parents, and...no way.
I wouldn't necessarily discount someone for being an occasional pot smoker
unless pot took priority over more important things, like getting out of bed before 4 p.m. and leaving the house once in a while, you know what I mean? It'd also be preferable that this guy not obsess over weed and/or have a marijuana leaf tattooed somewhere on his person.
I guess I feel the same way about drinking. If we can't have fun without consuming alcohol, that's a problem (flashbacks to college with "there are fun things to do in this small town in the middle of nowhere besides drinking!"). And if he feels like he needs to finish off a 12-pack, that's also a problem. But I think drinking in moderation every once in a while is fine.
This is something that's changed over the past few years, though. I didn't drink going into college like a bunch of my friends did, and I remember being appalled at how incredibly stupid people got when they drank massive quantities of liquor. I've loosened up since then, but that was a dealbreaker back in the day.
How do you feel about these specific situations?
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Comments (53)
fucking AGREE!
Thank you<3
I agree on pretty much everything you said. My boyfriend used to drink regularly, but after I admitted to him how much it turned me off, he magically stopped :P.
In the beginning of our relationship, we'd smoke together, but we eventually decided that we'd rather not, as it makes him kinda paranoid. We might smoke tonight though, I don't know. We both sort of have a lot of work to do, so maybe not.
When I entered college, smoking and drinking were MAJOR deal breakers with me. Since the beginning, I've loosened up, though. Everything in moderation, right?
I've never understood the pill thing... it never did anything for me.
I only have a problem with excessive drinking. Everything else I can pretty much shrug off.
I agree with everything, especially smoking. I have a strong opinion against it since some of my family members have died from lung cancer. My boyfriend is a smoker and he knows how I feel about it so he's been really good about cutting down and eventually trying to quit.
Smoking: Dealbreaker. Hairs on your tongue? Smell? Yellowing? Health issues? Yuck. DO NOT WANT>
Pot: Eh, as long as it wasn't around me and not all the time. Preferably not, though.
Other drugs: Dealbreaker. I want to get to know the REAL you, not the drug-addled you.
Alcohol: Fine occasionally for a good time, but to excess? No thank-you. It really is unneeded.
Occasional drinking is fine. Having an alcoholic beverage in the evenings to calm down is fine. Getting drunk is not fine, even if it happens only once. I hate being around drunk people.
Smoking is not fine. I don't find the habit disgusting, I have plenty of family members who do smoke. That's why I don't want him to smoke. I don't want him to be sick. I don't want him to ever be unhealthy due to smoking. I don't want his life shortened.
No drugs at all. Drugs are worse than smoking, even marijuana, the supposed "non-harmful drug."
Drugs, smoking, and drinking have so many harmful effects. They screw you up financially, they can get you in trouble with the law, they can kill your ass because they're unhealthy, they can ruin happy relationships, etc. Just.. no to all of them except for moderate drinking.
I don't mind pot.. if it is done occasionally.
Alcohol is alright. I usually drink when I go out, but I know my limit unlike many people.
Nicotine is definitely a no.
Prescription drugs? That's just lame.
People are so terribly brainwashed soometimes into believing what they consume on a daily basis even during the weekends are not Drugs because it's legal. If you take into account all the different remedies in your house... you wake up in the morning and have a cup of coffee, you go to work and have a cigarette, you come home to have a beer..then you take sleeping pills if you can't sleep... Americans are JACKED up on drugs. That's the truth.
I would not date a pot smoker. Deal breaker for me.
Not that I wouldn't be friends with someone who did, but I don't want to be in a serious relationship with someone like that... Just a no-no for me.
Drinking as long as it doesn't interfere with our plans or school is ok with me, and I'd prefer a nonsmoker, but it's not a total dealbreaker.
@pillowpixies@xanga - you do know that smoking (nicotine) and drinking (alcohol) not to mention coffee (caffeine) are alll drugs???
If it's mood altering, it is a DRUG.
And over the counter drugs are still DRUGS. sleeping pills? cold medicine? they are all drugs.
ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY.
I loathe people who smoke pot.From my experience, they're always people that are so self-pitying that they do nothing but smoke out to "get away from how hard life is". Motherfucker, grow the fuck up. Get a job. Get a life.
My boyfriend used to occasionally smoke pot- and then I told him to either pick me, or the drugs. He hasn't smoked since. I am worth soooo much more than a boy that puts a drug above me.
What's worse, is pot is NOT addicting. Jesus, go read a fucking article about it.
@Neurotically_Mine@xanga - I think, personally, that caffeine and nicotine and sleeping pills are on a different level than pot and alcohol and, say, DXM. I mean, it's one thing if they're abusing the OTC meds, but if they're taking them because they're ill, its different.
@Neurotically_Mine@xanga - Yeah, I know, but when I say drugs I'm using that as the name for things such as meth, cocaine, heroine, etc.
@chayswag@xanga - My point is ..they are all drugs. They are substances that are harmful to your body whether its on a small or large scale.
I agree that otc drugs are less likely to be abused because it is used so rarely, but everything else is used very frequently.
@pillowpixies@xanga - Alcohol used to be illegal in the U.S.
Why isn't it called a drug today? B/c our perception of it has changed and it's legalized. That doesn't change the harmful affects of alcohol. It still kills thousands every year. Just like cocaine, meth.. etc.
there is nothing wrong with mary jane! =) annnd ppl who do smoke tree, can still have a job and a life. c'mon.
@need2write@xanga - i second that. I know people who have full time jobs.. come to work on time and smoke every single day of their life.
@Neurotically_Mine@xanga - I've been around enough alcoholics to agree with that. That's why I don't particularly care for it.
@chayswag@xanga - yeah the lazyfucks you know. but i live in a hippie town filled with perfectly successful pot heads who enjoy life. everyones different duh?
I agree with all of it.
My boyfriend and I love to smoke pot. Usually it's a right before bed kinda thing. We don't always do it. And when we run out we don't freak out.
We both used to be big drinkers (it's how we met) but it just doesn't have the appeal anymore. Occasionally we might have a drink. I usually don't get past 2 anymore just because I lose interest. It doesn't taste that good, and it's not good for you.
We like to call ourselves "old people" because we're usually in bed by midnight, we don't have any interest in going out to the bars all the time like a lot of our friends, and we spend most of our time talking, reading, watching TV, playing games, going to the park, etc. Things that suddenly are considered lame by our age group. I'm 22 and he's 25. Not that it matters :p
My boyfriend is a complete pot head and it drives me crazy. Like you, I don't mind the pot occasionally but it's kind of getting ridiculous. So let's see, to juxtapose your list with my problems: for him, pot takes priority over a lot of things, he rarely leaves the house unless it's for work, and by golly - he actually has a pot leaf tattoo. The only thing that doesn't match up is the fact that he likes to wake up early. Especially today (4/20) - we're talking 6am.
It's frustrating, really. I hope he will decide to grow up soon.
ahhhhh happy 4/20!
drinking - i don't mind ... really i don't
ciggs - i used to say that i hated it but once again now i don't mind. i started smoking occasionally @ work but i stopped but i enjoyed one every now & again
weed - once again i really don't care as long as it doesn't consume your life
others - heck no. for the ultimate high there's an ultimate low & i don't feel like being around for your mood swings
mary jane is the #1 cash crop in california ... & we're in a recession. i say make it legal =)
i used to think i wouldn't like to date a smoker...then i did and i found out it doesn't matter to me at all..
I never thought I would ever be able to date a smoker. My current SO is in the military and a constant smoker. The thing is, is that I adore the person that he is. As much as I don't really like it, I know he was smoking long before I came along, and I don't want & know that I can't change him. He's been talking about quiting though, so we'll see where that goes. I wouldn't be able to date someone who smokes pot constantly though. I don't mind drinking, as long as it's not all the time. =]