Sunday, 19 April 2009
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Remember, Men Love to Be Loved
I am writing this to a person who will not even see it. But I feel that I need to unload my heart. So let me unload it to all you married women out there in the Xanga community. I really need to say some things that are important to me. I will make this the letter I would like to send to my own spouse. If it helps you, then maybe I can feel better in some way.
Dear "You,"You are the love of my life. You have always been there for me in any situation that I had. We have had a lot of good times together and some not so good. But it has been a good life, up until now. This is what I need for you to understand.
1. I am man. I love to be loved. Not to be told but to be shown. Touch me and I feel special, handle me and I feel needed. Be passionate and I will respond with much intimacy. I really need your love.
2. Over 20 years we have been together. I want this to continue but I feel distant. I feel like I don’t belong anymore. I want to run, hide or just leave this all behind because I just don't feel wanted.
3. I am dying on the inside. The pain is unbearable at times. I cannot tell you what is wrong when you ask. I want you to see it and respond. I am afraid to tell you because I know you do not understand or at times I think you really don't care.
4. You always get your way and that is embarrassing to me. I am not a fighter, I am not strong. I am just your husband. I love you with a deep passion but I feel it is not as strong as it used to be and it is weakening every day.
5. I am looking for comfort outside of our home and finding it. It is sad but true. I have thought about leaving just for the sake of my own sanity.
6. We don't do anything together. We do our own thing when we are home. Married but single - that's what it feels like.
What is the remedy for this condition? I don't know. I thought about death. Not suicide, I am not that type of a person. But I welcome it at times. I actually long for it frequently. I really need help. I wish you could see this and understand.
All my deepest love,
"Me"Please women - if you are married, please remember that men love to be loved. Not told, but shown. Be passionate to your man and he will never step out on you. Make it work. I beg you do not let happen to your marriage that I feel has happened to mine. Thank you.
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- From: anonymish
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Comments (41)
I saw this on SerenaDante's blog. Good stuff.
Yes indeedy they do.
Of course men need to be loved, I mean come on. Just because they're men doesn't mean they don't love to be loved.
Life is short. Get a divorce.
Wow, this post made me sad. It reminded me of Cory. how i treat him like hell and he never walked away. how i didnt want to do anything with him =[ =[
I'd never let my relationship, or my marriage get that way. At least I hope. I'd need love too.. and I'd give to receive.. that poor guy.
Some people...let this happen. If I had married my ex, my first love...I could see this being me twenty years down the road.
That said, despite my upbringings against it, I support what Lordv16 said. Life is short, get a divorce.
I agree with the person above me. Get a divorce. It seems beyond repair.
However, I disagree that men only want to be shown love. Different people accept love differently. I know my boyfriend would rather be told I love him than being given an expensive gift. We would not speak days on end because he was upset I had not said the L word when he demanded. I, on the other hand, really enjoy quality time with him. I don't need to be told I'm loved to feel loved. You need to learn how your partner is communicating to you. This is important for the development of a strong and healthy relationship.
maybe give her a few hints and buy her some unexpected flowers, sexy lingerie or a stripper pole, then she can show you love;)
this makes me sad :(
Though you may seem right for each other the day you say "I do," things change, people change, and very well grow apart. Perhaps it's time to seek marriage counseling if you really feel that there's no one else out there for you and that this marriage can be mended. If not, it may be time to move on.
Saw this on Serena's blog.
Aw men do need love! They need to be hugged and kissed and touched just as much as women do. I know this sounds like a generalization, but they seem to be more afraid to show that they want these things because it makes them seem weaker.
I love my man all the time. I don't just tell him, I show him with random kisses and hugs. He returns the love too. It's a two way street everyone.
@steph - same =)
@thinkin_up_dreams@xanga - ditto. xD
this is a tragedy.
This makes me sad, as well.
Let me get this straight. You have this HUGE problem, and you've never talked to her about it? You somehow just expect her to know?
I understand that you're suffering, and I'm sorry for all the pain that you're enduring, but it is desperately unfair for you to expect your wife to know what's going on or to ever do anything to fix the problem if you never talk to her about it.
i understand this. this post reminds me ALOT of my moms boyfriends situation. its almost identical.
I think communication is key. If you still love her, let her know how you feel and work through it! Perhaps she feels the same way as you?
Best of luck!
Awwww... C' mon, don't make me cry!!!
Dear 'you' (ok, I'm not married so I can't rly know what's like) but talk to ur woman!!
Talk to her n' let her know how u feel!! See her reaction n' if then she doesn't show any interest, leave her! Cos everyone deserves some1 who loves them!! N' u have so much love to share
If u comunicate maybe u'll find out she's feeling the same way!
TALK to her... ! ! ! !
I hope u read this comment n' take my advice (... wait I've just realized there's another comment with the advice... Anyway!)
Good luck !!!
Everythin's gonna be alright, respect urself first, u're an awesome person 
yes, guys have feelings too, but if you really have these problems with your spouse, talk to her. and if it doesn't work, then get a divorce.
:/ Come clean. And talk to her. She'll never know unless you tell her the problems. She probably thinks it's a perfect marriage, but to you ... it really isn't. It's not fair for her.
you have got to show this to her. perhaps make it a little more positive like there's room for improvement, - the few at the end were a little final, and then she can know!
i have felt like this too. it is paralysing to not say anything just as much as it is to tell them.
girls are the same you know, have the same feelings of needing to be shown love.
. but it is touching that you love her so much, i really think she should know.
good luck.